All I See Is You, All I Want Is You
by Passionate Angel229
Summary: Previosly: I Want You...' Secrets are meant to be kept...She was just a normal girl living out every girls dream - having a Jonas Brother fall inlove with her. Can she ride out her secrets? Or will she keep it all hidden beneath a smile? Lilly/Joe
1. Sweet Nibblets!

"You know, they're kinda girly..." she observed, flicking through the magazine. Her phone was held closely to her ear and her gaze was trained on the gossip magazine infront of her. She sat with her feet up on the counter; the only girl in a store fill of music.

'_Lils, who are you talking about?'_

"Oh sorry, I'm just looking through this magazine...The Jonas Brothers – have you actually looked closely at them? I mean, with Joe and Kevins' straightened hair and Nick with his curls...they're kinda girly," she shrugged, biting her lip in concentration. She wasn't too good at multi-tasking. It was hard for her to concentrate on two things.

'_God...I can't believe you're still on about this Lilly. I don't see why it bothers you so much?'_

"It doesn't bother me...I'm just curious. All these girls seem to be falling over themselves – yes, even you Ms Montana – but, I can't see the attraction. I mean, they're just regular boys with a couple of straightners," she stated, wrinkling her brows as her friends laughed. It wasn't supposed to be a joke; she was just stating what she was feeling. Sometimes she worried about her best-friends sanity – _'maybe the fame was getting to her...'_ she thought, giggling slightly at that. She knew Miley would never change, but, she was still confused as to what was so funny.

'_You know...it sounds to me like you don't like them...I don't see why...I mean, have you seen Nick? Sweet nibblets that boy could look me in the eye anyday...'_

"Haha Miles, you know...it's just...I don't even understand it at all! They can't sing! They can't act! I mean...did you see Camp Rock?! I'm sorry...but I just couldn't stop laughing at it! I get that it's Disney but still – maybe they could throw alittle excitement in there?" she sighed, running a tired hand through her hair. She noticed some commotion outside of the store but shrugged it off. People always just walked right on past – one of the reasons why she loved working there. She just got paid to sit on her bum all day; it was quite an easy job.

'_Little blonde girl say what? You can mock their acting all you want little lady, but there's no need to bring the singing into this...'_

"Don't get mad Miles, you know it's just my opinion. Sometimes I can't understand what they're saying – I was listening to Goodnight and Goodbye last night and I seriously, could not understand a word. I also think my ears have gone numb thanks to it all...I now know how they felt when we played 'we got the party with us..." she giggling, remembering the boys reactions to their 'song.' It was quite funny when she realised how she acted towards them – a typical fan girl dressed as a guy. But, it was all a show. Miley expected her to be a 'girly girl' but, they weren't the type of music she listened too. It was more rock for her than the pop scene – she barely listened to Hannah Montana.

'_Lilly, does it really matter? I mean, what's the chance you'll ever mee-"_

"We met them about a month ago sweetie. Have you for-"

'_Sweet nibblets girl, you remember everything!'_

"Look Miles, I know you've gotta stick up for them – you know, being a fan and all. But, they just don't interest me...it's not like it matters anyway. They don't know me and I don't know them...I'm just the one girl in the world who doesn't like the Jonas Brothers," she shrugged, spinning around in her chair. She missed the shadow entering the store – too busy talking to Miley. She leaned back and stretched, smiling as her friend retorted to her comment.

'_You are one weird girl Lillian Truscott...I can't believe you won't swoon at atleast one of the brothers!'_

"Miley Stuart, you know that I'm not like that. It takes more than fame to win me over...I just...they don't seem real to me. I mean, they're Christian, wear purity rings, talk politely – where's the fun? Where's the life? It's just seems all too...fake to me. And their songs...I don't think they even know the meaning of them! Aren't they supposed to be pure and perfect? God, they just annoy me so much," she rebuked, chucking the magazine towards the wall. She never seemed to get too emotional about anything but her annoyance towards the Jonas Brothers. She knew it was irrational – she wouldn't meet them being Lilly. But, she couldn't help how she felt. They all seemed to 'picture perfect' for her. It creeped her out.

'_You are such a dork Lilly...I just don't understand you Lil...Sometimes I think you come from a different planet or something. Sweet nibblets girl, they're the Jonas Brothers!'_

"Yeah, and I just don't like them," she shrugged, brushing off the hand that was taping her shoulder. She stiffened slightly as she realised someone was in the shop with her. Swinging around, she turned to glare at the person. Her eyes widened as she realised she would have to hang up. "Miley, I've gotta go..."

'_Alright, leave your friend in a crises...It's fine, I do-"_

"Gotta go Miles," she mumbled, flipping her phone shut. She blushed as the boy before raised a single eyebrow in question – his face holding a bemused expression. "Can I...can I help you?"

"You know, you should atleast check the store for customers before bashing the band they play in," he shrugged, smiling at the girl. His eyes trailed slowly over her face and body. His eyes brightened as she clucked her tongue at him. She had caught him and he knew it. He also knew that she didn't like him or his brothers very much.

"Well, I didn't think you'd actually be here did I?" she asked, crossing her arms before the boy. She had seen his accessing of her, his trailing eyes racking over her body. She tried not to do the same to him but, it was hard not to. She had seen him on tv and she had to 

admit, he looked much more buffer in person. She thought that the other two were the ones that were 'gym' fanatics.

"Still gotta be careful what you say..." he laughed, running a hand through his brunette locks. The girl sparked his interest immediately – her dislike of the band intriguing him. He had never met anyone exactly like her; he knew he couldn't let her get away so easily.

"How much did you hear?" she cringed, blushing as her words came back to haunt her. This was where she needed Miley to burst in and save the day. Too bad the brunette was touring as Hannah Montana and wouldn't be back until a week from now.

"Oh about from the part where you were the one girl that disliked the Jonas Brothers," he grinned, watching as she bit her lip in nervousness. He had been watching her as she talked passionately on the phone; just learning her habits in a minute or two.

"Kill me now," she groaned, sinking into her seat. She couldn't believe she was just caught by a Jonas Brother dissing the Jonas Brothers. It was one in a million chance but, it happened to her. She always had the badluck.

"Hey, it's okay...it's kind of refreshing actually," he grinned, shooting his infamous wink her way. He knew he should be insulted by her words, but, he couldn't help but laugh. He had never met anyone like her. She was honest – which was something that was rare in LA.

"If you don't mind me asking...um, what are you doing here anyway?" she asked, tilting her head at the boy. She was just curious as to why he was in her shop, no one ever came in. But here, standing before her, was one third of the infamous Jonas Brothers band.

"Oh, we've got a benefit concert on the beach...I was just running away from fans," he shrugged, taking a seat on the counter. He was comfortable around her and there wasn't any doubt in his mind that he didn't like her. He was attracted to her and he was never one to deny his emotions.

"Oh okay..." she sighed, leaning back in her chair. She wasn't sure what he was doing, but, she smiled all the same. Any girl would die to be in her position, why would she waste it? Miley would get the gossip when she got home – so would Oliver.

"Wanna play a game?" he asked, eyes widening in excitement. He swung his legs back and forth as she decided on an answer. It was his way of knowing more about the girl – he didn't even know her name.

"Sure, which one?"

"Twenty questions...or ten in this case, cause I don't have much time," he murmured, furrowing his brow as he read his phone. He knew his brothers would ruin his 'excursion.' They always seemed to find him. But, he would take the time to know the girl – he wanted to do that. "What's your name?"

"Lillian Truscott...but most people call me Lilly," she answered, blushing as she said her full name. She was embarrassed by it – accusing her mother of hating her by naming her child that. It was just something that she couldn't handle; her own name gave her the shivers.

"I like it," he smiled genuinely, nodding his head. _Lillian..._he thought, the word just rolling off of his tongue. He knew she'd be filling his thoughts for the day; even if she didn't like him or his brothers at all.

"Thanks...so...oh I've got one! How come, on stage, your pants are so tight? I mean, they're tighter than mine," she questioned, giggling slightly at the blushing boy. She didn't mean to embarrass him – it was just a question she wanted answered. She always thought it was funny when they were dancing around on stage, but, it looked very uncomfortable.

"I...Well...I don't know," he laughed, blushing slightly. He didn't think his pants were that tight – he could still move quite well in them. His brothers could still move fluidly in their pants; maybe they didn't realise how tight they looked. He was comfortable in them.

"Fair enough," she shrugged, grinning at the boy. She wanted him to be comfortable – he wasn't as bad as she thought he would be. He wasn't changed by his fame; his famous persona was just his real one. He really was as 'pure' as the magazine portrayed him to be.

"What are you interested in Miss Lillian? Well, other than bashing the Jonas Brothers," he grinned, leaning towards the girl even more. He was drawn to her – he couldn't understand it. She obviously didn't like him; that much was clear in her conversation on the phone. Maybe it was the thrill of meeting someone who didn't fall at his feet.

"Skateboarding, surfing, movies, music...just the average," she hummed, tapping her foot to the beat in her head. She knew she should really pay more attention to the boy – he was sitting right infront of her. But, she knew that if she really got to know him, she wouldn't want him to leave. He lived in New Jersey; she didn't do well with any kind of distance between friends.

"If you want me to go, I can," he suggested, hopping off of the counter. He could see her dis-interest in him and he didn't want her to have anymore reason to hate his brothers' band. He should've stayed away.

"No...no...it's just...you could be anywhere in Malibu yet you're sitting in some old music store with a girl that doesn't even like your music," she stated, eyeing the boy. She really wanted him to answer the hidden question. Any girl would fall at his feet but, she wasn't the kind to get star-struck by people she didn't think deserved it. She didn't like their music, so she didn't respect them at all. But, the boy that stood before her was changing her opinion.

"You sparked my interests Truscott – I don't ignore my gut," he shrugged, looking back at the girl. He could see the understanding flickering through her gaze. She knew he was attracted to her; she just couldn't understand why it was her. He didn't want any girl in the world; he wanted one that he was interested in. He wanted a challenge.

"Well, it's...you...huh?" she stammered, looking towards her feet. She never had someone be that forward with her – it was all hidden beneath his words. Boys at school usually just talked to her; she was one of the 'guys.' But, the boy standing before her was openly stating his attraction – she was flustered.

"You don't need to be shy..." he whispered, picking her chin up with his index and middle finger. He could see the surprise in her eyes as she noticed his close proximity. He didn't want to scare her but his attraction to her was growing the more he stood in the same room as her. Their breath was mingling and he was so close to her lips.

"You..." she trailed off as his lips came into contact with hers. She knew she shouldn't – he was famous and she was just Lilly. She was just the girl that was pushed to the side for her best-friend. She wasn't supposed to get the 'prince,' – she wasn't supposed to feel this way.

The minute his lips touched hers, he knew she was the one he would spend his life with. She ignited a passion within him that he didn't even know he had. The kiss was soft and short – just a touch of lips. He could save the passion for their next one.

"You...huh?" she mumbled, pulling away from the boy. His close proximity was causing havoc on her sense – she couldn't think straight. The kiss was what she had dreamed of; just a simple touch of devotion. She had felt his longing; she knew he wanted to deepen the kiss. She didn't usually kiss strangers, but, there was something about the boy infront of her.

"Come to the concert tonight...I want you there," he stated, opening his eyes and gazing at the girl. She was slightly flushed and her eyes were slowly opening. He couldn't believe how beautiful she was.

"I don't...I don't have tickets," she said, pulling further away from the boy. She couldn't talk when he was that close to her. Her thoughts only revolved around touch when he was close. She fought the urge to reach out and just crossed her arms and raised her eyebrow.

"I'll get you some...just...put your number in here," he rushed, thrusting his phone into her hands. He had to get going, his brothers were probably looking for him – but, he needed to make sure she was coming first. He needed her to come.

"You're bossy now aren't ya," she smirked, placing her number into the phone. She was back to her normal self aslong as he stayed a distance away from her. It wasn't supposed to be like it was – she wasn't supposed to fall hopelessly for him. He was in a band that she didn't even like.

"I've gotta go, but, you'll be there?" he questioned, walking backwards towards the door. He needed to make sure she would turn up – it would be the highlight of the concert. He felt bad for leaving her after the kiss, but, his brothers were looking for him and he needed to leave before they found him there. Their fans were most likely running around after the two boys.

"We'll see," she winked, pushing him out the door. She watched as he turned and waved – throwing his hood onto his head. The smile never left her face as she turned towards the counter. A sigh escaping her lips as she ran a shaking hand through her hair. She knew she was falling for the boy, but, she didn't want to stop. He was sweet, he was funny, he was cute, he was sensitive, he was...everything she had dreamed of in a guy.

'_Now you call me?! What am I? Sweet nibblets girl you know you shouldn't han-'_

"You were right..." she squealed, jumping up and down. She knew she was having a 'girly' moment and she was glad that the shop was empty. Her friend was berating her about her visit and the smile still never left. She just wanted to see him again – she'd have to go to the concert.


	2. Sparked Interests

* * *

"So...where were you?" he questioned, eyeing his brother. He was wearing a frightening smile – he had never seen it on his older brother before. He seemed to be extremely happy; it was slightly scary.

"Just in some music store," he shrugged, slouching onto the couch. He didn't want his brothers to know about Lilly yet – he wanted to see what happened. She was a mystery and he liked it.

"Joe...you were gone for more than 3 hours," Kevin intoned, ruffling his brothers hair. He knew it annoyed Joe when people touched his hair – he was very protective of it. He laughed slightly as he 'fixed' his hair.

"It was a good music store," he mumbled, moving away from his brothers' hands. He could feel their eyes on him, but, he didn't want to tell them. He wanted Lilly to be kept a secret – he wanted her to be his secret.

"Look, whatever – we've gotta start practicing; the concerts in an hour," Nick glared, picking up his fallen guitar. They were supposed to be rehearsing an hour ago but Joe had gone missing in action.

"Calm down bro, we'll be all g," Joe smiled, ruffling his younger brothers' curls. It was fun to get Nick riled up, but he knew he was right. He shouldn't have pushed the limits of his 'free' time – he just couldn't leave her. He was too curious.

* * *

"What am I going to wear?!" she screeched, rummaging through her room. She couldn't find anything that appealed to her. She didn't want to over-do it, but, she wanted to look nice. She was invited by the stars of the show – she had to look appealing.

'_Just wear some jeans and a t-shirt...unless you actually care wh-'_

"Do not!" Lilly interrupted, blushing furiously. She wasn't sure of her feelings yet – she didn't want to think. She just wanted to concentrate of her feelings; she needed to discover exactly what she felt before she could move forward.

'_Lils...wake up and smell the spicy chicken. I can hear it in your voice...just admit you like the boy...'_

"Miles, it's not even like that. I was just invited because...well, I um...I don't know..." she mumbled, furrowing her brow slightly. She still wasn't quite sure to make of the invitation, but, she knew she wanted to follow it.

'_Sweet nibblets Lillian...that boy basically said he liked you and you're fretting over the invitation? Just go there and knock their socks off...'_

"Easy for you to say Ms Montana...I don't have the confidence you do," Lilly retorted, slumping onto the bed. She was beginning to think that it was a bad idea for her to go – he would just forget her anyway. She was just a normal girl starting to get swept up by the infamous Joe Jonas. She wasn't sure what she was to make of that.

'_Lils...you weren't star-struck by them before. Remember...they're just a band in a world filled with others like them. There's no need to treat them any differently...'_

"I know that, but...I dunno Miles – he just gave me chills. He appears to be exactly what the media portrays him to be," she stated, looking in the mirror at her hair. She had just gotten out of the shower and started to get ready for the concert when she rang Miley. She needed her best-friend but, she was busy on the other side of the world. She thanked God for the invention of cell-phones.

'_They are sweet boys Lilly...You'll enjoy yourself...'_

"I can't believe you're not comin' with, you know? Usually it's you that gets us into crazy situations," she laughed, twirling a piece of her blonde her. She casually got out her black skinny jeans, converse and just a red graphic t-shirt.

'_I know babe...but, this'll just be your adventure. You don't need me there to hold your hand Lilly – you're a big girl...'_

"I don't wanna go," she pouted, crossing her arms. She knew she was acting immature, but, she was just nervous. She wasn't sure if she could just walk up to the three brothers. She knew she didn't like their music or their looks – but, they were still in the public eye. They were still wanted worldwide by many girls and one had chosen her to meet up with them.

'_Lillian Truscott you will go see that concert! You can't let the boy down; he'll be waiting on you...'_

"Miley...he's Joe Jonas – he can have anyone in the world, why would he invite me?" she asked, slumping back onto her bed. She played with her nails as she listened to Mileys answer; a smile forming on her face at her friends words.

'_Lilly...you're beautiful and smart and fun...anyone would die to have as their friend let alone girlfriend! He obviously has an interest in you to invite you to the concert...you have to go...'_

"I guess you're right Miles...I just...I'm so nervous!" she gushed, running her hands through her hair. Her lip was already bruised from her nervous habit of biting it. Her hands were shaking – she wasn't even sure why she was nervous. They never affected her like this before.

'_That's understandable Lils...you'll be fine...'_

"Thanks Miley...Look, I've gotta go, but, I'll ring you after yeah?" she smiled, hanging up her phone. She fell back onto the bed in exhaustion – she hadn't even been to the concert and she was tired. Her smile grew as her phone rang again; the number coming up as unknown. She knew who it was. "Hello?"

'_**Hey...it's um, it's Joe...you know, Joe Jonas?'**_

"Yeah?" she asked, counting to ten in her head. She didn't want to seem too eager with the boy; she still wasn't sure how she felt.

'_**I was just...are you here yet?'**_

"No...I'm just about to leave my house now," she laughed, giggling at his eagerness. She knew he wanted to see her – she could feel it underneath her skin. His voice gave her chills and she liked it. No one else had been able to make her feel that way for a long time.

'_**Okay cool...just send me a txt when you get here and I'll send someone out to give you your tickets...'**_

"Yeap okay, I'll probably be another 20 minutes," she stated, walking down the stairs of her house. The doorbell had just rung and she was eager to see who it was. She didn't get many visitors because her mom was away for the month.

'_**Okay...can't wait to see you...'**_

"Yeah, you too," she blushed, hanging her head slightly. Her phone was shut and chucked onto the couch as she opened the door. Her eyes widened in surprise – she hadn't seen him for over 6 months and yet he hadn't changed a bit.

"Hey Lils," he smiled, waving his hand slightly. He knew it was a shock to just turn up on her doorstep – but he knew they needed to sort things out. He had left things on such a bad note that it followed him everywhere. He needed to fix things with the girl that used to be his best-friend.

"Ryan," she intoned, stepping back for the boy to step in. She was wondering why he was there – he hadn't bothered to call. Their relationship was on rocky group; his leaving making her fall apart. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to do with him.

* * *

"She wasn't there," he said, moodily chucking his tambourine on the couch. His scowl grew worse as it just bounced onto the floor. He couldn't believe she had ditched him. She knew he wanted her to be there, but yet, she didn't show up. _'What's with that...'_ he thought angrily, slumping onto the couch.

"Who wasn't where?" Nick asked, jumping into the seat beside his pouting bother. He was still pumped from the concert before, but he had seen the difference in his 'hyper' brother. He wasn't as into the show as he usually was. He was still all over the place but his smiles weren't all there – it was as if he was looking for something.

"Lilly...Lillian Truscott – she said she'd be there but she wasn't! God I'm such an idiot," he shouted, smacking his palm against his forehead. He couldn't believe that he was acting this way. He had only known her for 2 – 3 hours, yet, he was already attached to her.

"Who's that?" Kevin questioned, eyeing his distressed brother. He had never seen the boy this way – it was as if he was slightly losing his mind. His hair was ruffled and his body was tense. He was worried about him.

"I met her when I was at that music store...she's...she's a mystery," he whispered, looking up to his older brother. It was times like these that he really appreciated Kevin. He was always there to help both him and Nick and he did it without complaint.

"You like her..." Nick intoned, looking towards Joe. He was worried about the boy – on stage and off. He had seen Joe try to be his 'concert' self but, there was something off when he sang. His eyes never stopped scanning the crowd and he was always reaching for his cell-phone in his pocket.

"She sparked my interest," he shrugged, looking towards both of them. They were family – the three of them. They were closer than normal brothers and he was glad for that. He wasn't sure if he could go through the whole 'fame' thing without his family.

"I'm sure she'd have a good reason Joe...why don't you give her a call?" Kevin stated, nudging his younger brother. He knew that the boy was usually lost when it came to relationships – he was always nervous when it came to the dealings of the heart.

"What if she hates me? I mean, I walked in on her dissing our band and then I just k-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa...she doesn't even like our music?!" Nick screeched, backing away from his brother slightly. He didn't mean for his voice to crack but – the girl didn't even like their music and his brother was falling for her...he couldn't understand it all. Joe usually just flirted and moved on, but, he could tell that his brother really took a liking to the girl.

"And she thinks we're kind of girly," Joe grinned, rubbing his forehead slightly. He could feel the shock of his brothers. It was something new to find a girl who was 'in awe' of them. It was exhilarating.

"Yet this girl sparked your interest? Are you insane?! She doesn't even like us!" Nick shouted, abruptly standing from the couch. He ran a stressed hand through his hair. It wasn't that he didn't want his brother to be happy – but, he didn't want Joe to get hurt. The girl didn't even like them as a band or people.

"She...she does! She just doesn't know us! I mean, I could just feel it in the air...I dunno Nick. I just...my curiosity is peaked by her," Joe defended, glaring at his younger brother. He wasn't aware of the tense feeling in the room or Kevins' nervous fidgeting. Nick had no right to attack Lilly – she wasn't even there to defend herself.

"Alright, you guys just calm down...Joe, I'm sure Nick didn't mean what you thought he meant and Nick...I think you should just take a deep breath," Kevin sighed, stepping between the two boys. He was always the peace-maker when it came to the three of them.

"No Kevin...Joe needs to learn that he can't just act on impulse – we're in a band...there's three of us in it. We can't just go off and flirt with a girl and the-"

"So next time you wanna date someone we can get all up in your business?" Joe questioned, eyeing his little brother. They were always fighting lately – nothing seemed to go right between them. Nick was too focused on the 'music and fame' whereas Joe just wanted to have fun. That was the reason they had started the band in the first place; they did it because they loved to make music.

"No...that's not what I mean. You just said that she didn't even like u-"

"She didn't like our music! She was talking on the phone to her friend...just because she's not a fan does that mean I can't d-"

"No! I just don't want you to rush into this bro..." Nick sighed, finally locking eyes with his brother. He only wanted Joe to be happy but, he had a feeling that he couldn't stop the two. Joe seemed to be attached to the girl.

"I'm not rushing Nick...I just...I can't seem to get this one out of my head," he stated, smiling at his little brother. He knew that Nick cared – it was in every word that the boy said. Nick only got emotional when it mattered and it always mattered with events that involved family.

"Fine...just...just give her a call," Nick said, thrusting the boys' phone in his face. He knew he was being silly or immature. He wasn't usually the one that was so 'against' following your heart, but, it was Joe. Joe was careless sometimes and went head-first into things that he had no idea about. He needed to protect his older brother.

"It looks like you've got a message," Kevin observed, seeing the flashing red light. He knew the tension in the room had eased slightly, but, he could still see Nicks' flustered appearance. He wasn't sure what was going on between the brothers but he just struck it down to sibling rivalry.

"Oh! Maybe it's her!" Joe squealed, jumping up and down excitedly. He bit his lip in anticipation as he slowly typed in his password to hear messages. Her voice cut through the silent air.

'_Hey uh Joe...Look, I'm really sorry but I can't make it tonight...you see, I had to take care of something at home...I'm so sorry. I really wanted to come too – maybe give you guys a chance to impress me? Hahaha. But look, just...just send me a txt later on because obviously you guys are on stage – if not, I'm not very impressed that you're screening my calls already! Anyway...I hope you have a good concert, and I can't wait to hear from you...Oh, uh, it's Lilly by the way...'_

Joe's smile grew and grew as the message continued. He was happy that she hadn't just out right ignored his offer. He was happy that she had actually called him – he wasn't sure what she thought of him. He touched his lips slightly, their kiss coming to the fore-front of his mind. He wanted another one – one with more passion behind it though.

"She sounds nice," Kevin smiled, winking towards his brother. He could see the happiness that Joe portrayed just by hearing the girls voice. He couldn't help but laugh at him – he was so 'Joe' sometimes. The small things were what mattered in the boys heart and it was just the same for the rest of the family.

"She does," Nick nodded, smiling at his older brother that was jumping on the couch. He really was happy. He had known the girl for less than a day and yet, Joe was acting completely in-love.

* * *

So hopefully this is alright...? I hope it sets the story apart from naley4eva93's one?? Again, I've gotta apologise to you, I seriously didn't mean to create a story like yours. But, hope you guys like it..!!


	3. Addiction

She sat across from the boy – her eyes trailing over him. She had to admit that he looked good and she felt a pang in her chest as their eyes locked. She could see the pain he was going through – she was curious. He knew showed her before; it was always kept a secret from her. His emotions were always so controlled yet, here he was, sitting before her, showing her his pain. She just didn't understand why he came to her.

"You're looking at me like I'm crazy," he sighed, running a hand through his mo-hawked hair. It was newly cut and he was slightly self-conscious of it. He was used to his shaggy brown locks, not the newly short version. Everyone seemed to like it though, so he just let it be.

"Ryan...we haven't spoken a word to each other in over 6 months and you turn up on my doorstep? I'm not just looking at you like you're crazy, I'm thinking you are too," she stated, crossing her arms towards the boy. She wouldn't deny the hurt that he had caused her – but, she tried to put it all in the past. She needed to move forward with her life.

"That's fair...I guess. It's just...I feel like we need to clear the air I guess," he shrugged, blushing slightly under her scrutiny. He couldn't remember her being this way – she always used to be so giving towards him. She was never defensive or abrupt with him as she was now; she was always open.

"So you travel across states? Ryan...you know you can't just do that. You have responsibilities now," Lilly murmured, gazing down at her hands. She couldn't deny the butterflies in her stomach when she realised he had travelled to Malibu to visit her. It shocked her slightly, she wasn't aware that it had affected him that much – she always thought he was never hurt.

"Lilly...none of that matters when it comes to dealing with the heart. You know that's the only thing that matters to me. I can't think straight with the fact that I hurt you on my mind," he retorted, reaching to grab her hands. He needed to just touch her once – maybe then he could express his sorrow. He really was sorry for the hurt he had caused her; he didn't want her to think she was just a game to him. She meant more to him than she could ever know.

"Rye...you...why now? Why when I was just moving on?" she asked, keeping her tears in check. She didn't want to waste anymore tears on the boy before her – but, he was making it hard. He was supposed to be out of her life, but, he just turned up again. He really was a mystery to her. It was what attracted her to him in the first place.

"I didn't...I didn't...that's not what...I just...I only want to fix things," he blushed, looking towards the ground. He wasn't one to be shy around girls, but Lilly brought that out in him – he loved her. He truly loved her – but, he wasn't in-love with her. Not anymore.

"I never asked you to fix things," she snapped, abruptly standing and breaking their contact. She wasn't sure what to make of him – he really did look sorry. But, he had caused a large amount of hurt in her heart and she wasn't one to forgive easily.

"Well tough shit Lillian...you can't just turn away from me. I know enough about you to know that it would help you aswell to have the air cleared," he growled, his emotions getting the best of him. He knew he shouldn't let the reign; he was usually so composed. Lilly seemed to just push the right buttons within him to let the emotions rule. He wasn't sure how he felt about that.

"You don't know shit Ryan! Don't you remember? We played this game once before and you lost," she snarled, stepping closer to the boy. Her emotions were running high and she couldn't control them. He seemed to bring out the passion within her – her fierce desire to prove someone wrong.

"God Lilly, can't you just stop and breathe for a second?! It was a mistake but I'm human...I'm not perfect! I can't take it back, but..." he trailed off as he stepped closer to the angry girl. He was captivated by the fire in her eyes. She could always stop him with just one look – it was gift only she had. Sighed, he ran a hand through his hair. He was close enough to reach out and tenderly place the piece of hair on her face behind her ear. "I can help to fix it..."

"Ryan..." she breathed, leaning into his touch. She had missed him – he was a part of her life. He had played a major part in her youth and he was standing before her trying to fix his mistake. She couldn't be completely heartless and let him turn and walk away. She didn't have it in her to push him away again.

"I don't expect anything Lils...I just...I want you to remember the good times we had. I want to erase the hurt I caused...I just...I want things to go back to how they used to be," he whispered, smiling as she leant into his touch. He knew it was a start; her eyes told him everything he needed to know. She had missed him; nearly as much as he had missed her.

"I...I don't know Rye..." she murmured, closing her eyes. She just wanted the revel in his touch – it was so gentle. It was exactly how she remembered it to be. She knew they couldn't go back to exactly how it was; that part of them was long gone. But, they could be friends.

"You know...you put me through loops Sparks..." he sighed, dropping his hand. He knew he couldn't just waltz back into her life. He just wanted things to return to how they once were. He knew it would take time- that was why he was there for a month. He had a month to make things up to her.

"You haven't called me that for a long time," she blushed, looking at her feet. She knew she was acting different to how he used to know her – but, things had changed. She had grown up from when he was last there.

"You know...I am really sorry about what happened..." he said, pulling her gaze up to meet his. He held her chin tightly – making sure she didn't turn away. He needed her to understand that he really did want to make amends with her. He couldn't continue his job until he was sure everything was alright between them

"It's...you...I know," she nodded, stepping back from the boy. She couldn't think straight when he was that close. All the old feelings came back. She knew she didn't feel for him the way she used too. But, she knew she could fall back into that – it was just too easy with him.

"Why are you pulling away then?" he asked, confusion filling his gaze. He thought she'd understand what he was trying to do. He did want to fix things between them – it would do both of them some good. He just didn't understand why she was pulling away again.

"You still affect me like you used too," she answered, giving him the truth. She knew she had to keep stating the truth – she couldn't tell him anymore lies. She did want to go back to how things used to be – she really did, but, she couldn't when she couldn't control herself around him. She needed to think about what she was going to do.

"You...You're still inlove with me?" he questioned, raising his eyebrows at her. He didn't think she would be that truthful.

"No...I don't think so...but, I still...you just still affect me like you used too," she mumbled, blushing at the truth. She could still feel her fierce attraction to him and it unnerved her. She didn't want to feel that.

"Oh...I see...so...what does that mean?"

"I think...I want things to go back to how they were...I do...I just...I need to think about it," she stated, looking up at the boy. She needed him to understand that she needed time to process what was being said. She couldn't think on just instinct – when she did that, bad things always happened to her.

"Okay...I'll give you your time, but, I'm staying for a month Sparks. If you need me, just...just come see me," he said, writing where he was staying on a piece of paper and placing it on the table. He needed to get out of there and release some tension.

"Ryan...thankyou," she called, smiling at the boy. She nodded as he left without another word – it was better that way. She sighed as she slumped into the couch. He just had to come back at this moment. She was confused; there was no doubt in her mind that she was still attracted to him but, she remembered Joe. He was sweet and kind and the kiss had been mind-blowing. It was only a swift touch of the lips yet she could still feel the 'tingles.'

* * *

"Ow!" he muttered, rubbing the small of his back. He glared at the boy in the bed, growling softly.

"Where you going?" he asked, ignoring his brothers glare. He knew none of them were morning people, but the boy was up and about before 6am. He knew something must be wrong with Joe if he was doing that.

"I'm going for a walk...I need some air," he murmured, zipping up his lose jeans. He chucked on a purple button-down shirt and just left it unbuttoned. He didn't think anyone would be up – it was 5.30am.

"Take your cell," Kevin called, chucking the phone at the boy. His eyes closed as soon as the door was closed, going back into his slumber. He knew Joe just needed to think; they would be leaving in a week. He wasn't sure what the boy would do about this 'girl.'

He had to think about things – she was on his mind. She hadn't left his head and his dream were filled were her. He knew he was attracted to the blonde girl, but, he didn't think she affected him that much. He was beginning to go insane not seeing her. He had never had this happen to him before; she was like his salvation. He needed just a single touch and he would be fine.

"Joe?" a voice interrupted his thoughts, making the boy turn around. His eyes widened as he caught site of the girl. She looked small and lost – his heart broke to see her. She looked as if she had been crying and he wasn't sure why that affected him so much. He had known her for less than a day and yet, the girl seemed to have a firm hold on his heart.

"L...Lilly?" he questioned, running towards the fallen girl. She was curled into a ball outside of a hotel room. He wasn't sure what happened but, he did want to try to fix it.

"Hi," she tried to smile, looking up at the boy. She ignored the pang of lust at seeing him and just concentrated on his eyes. She thought it would be a good idea to go see Ryan but, she wasn't so sure anymore. She had basically told the boy that she was still attracted to him and they would be in a hotel room. She wasn't sure if she could stay away from him.

"Wh...what are you doing here?" he asked, sliding down to sit beside the girl. He didn't want to scare her or push her into anything. He was just curious as to why she was here – it couldn't have been to see him, he hadn't told her where he was staying. Obviously the girl had many secrets that he wanted to know.

"I'm here visiting a...a friend – I'm just not ready to go in yet," she answered, fiddling with her hands. She knew she must've looked like a wreak – her mascara running and her hair tousled.

"Oh...okay," he mumbled, looking down. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do. He revelled in her presence, running a hand through his tousled hair. He knew he shouldn't be 

so attached to her but, he couldn't help it. He never denied his feelings before and he didn't want to start now.

"You don't have to stay if you don't want...I'm a big girl," she sighed, looking towards the boy beside her. She did want to get to know him better – it was a fact she had come to terms with. She knew she was wrong when she had judged him and his brothers at first glance.

"What can I say...I like your company," he grinned, winking towards the girl. He laughed lightly as she let a smile grace her features. He loved that he was able to get that out of her – just a simple smile.

"You are so weird," she laughed, leaning her head against the door. She wondered if Ryan could hear them; if he was even listening. She doubted it though – he was always a heavy sleeper. She didn't want him to come out yet; she wanted to spend more time with the boy beside her.

"Well, I'll take that as a compliment my dear," he intoned in a british-accent, laughing as she laughed. He was enjoying her company; especially now as it didn't look as if she was nervous. He knew she was getting used to his presence and it made him smile. She was getting used to him.

"You're funny," she grinned, turning to completely face the boy. She didn't think it was possible that she would actually meet one of the boys in the band that she didn't even like. She liked his company and he was able to make her forget about her problems. He was like her escape from the world around her. She was becoming addicted to him.

"Thanks, you are too," he winked, nudging her shoulder lightly. He didn't want to push the physical contact between them – he didn't want to push her. He couldn't help but think of their quick kiss though. It invigorated him slightly. He was becoming addicted to her. "Lets get out of here..."

"What? Joe...I can't..." she trailed off, letting him pull her up. She ignored the sensation that skin to skin contact caused within her. She trailed her gaze across his toned chest – her gaze turning hungry. She stepped alittle closer to the boy on instinct, her glazed gaze looking towards him.

"Just trust me," he whispered, swallowing loudly as he locked gazes with her. He could see the lust in her eyes and he bushed when she gazed at his chest. He had forgotten to button-up his top.

"Okay," she swallowed, stepping back from the boy. She couldn't think straight and she didn't know why she stepped closer. She hardly ever followed her instincts. She hated following her instincts – she had to think things through. There were too many things to sort through in her mind.

"Come on," he laughed, grasping her hand in his own. Unintentionally, he entwined their fingers as he pulled her through the halls of the hotel. He knew it was wrong of him to pull the girl away from her problems – but, he just wanted to get to know her more. He needed to know her more.

"Where are you taking me?!" she screeched, stumbling slightly as she tried to keep up. She tried not to be too loud because she knew many people were still sleeping. She bit her lip in anticipation as to where he was leading her. She felt like a little kid again.

"It's a surprise," he winked, stopping suddenly and picking up the girl. He grinned as she let out a squeal of excitement or fear – he wasn't sure. He liked that he was in control for the moment. He didn't know where he was taking her, but, he knew that it would be an adventure she would like. He wanted to make her happy.

"Put me down! Put me down Joe," she growled playfully, whacking the boys' shoulders as he carried her bridal style down the endless hallway. They were just two crazy teenagers having a good time. She loved that he was able to bring the reckless side out in her.


	4. Best Friends

"Argh, would you guys be...Lilly?" he questioned, exiting his room. He heard noises outside of his door – he went to inspect it. It surprised him of what he saw; Lilly on the back of some guy with shaggy brown hair. She seemed to be blushing madly and it unnerved him slightly.

"Oh...uh...hey Rye," she mumbled, jumping off the boys' back. She swayed from side to side as she gazed between the two. She knew Ryan didn't even looked towards the guy beside her – he was only looking at her.

"Holy shit?! Ryan Sheckler?!" Joe gawked, eyeing the boy before him. His eyes swayed between Lilly and Ryan – wondering how they knew each other. He knew that Ryan must think he was slightly queer; he was dripping wet and so was Lilly. They had had alittle accident when walking by the pool.

"Uh, yeah...that's me," Ryan murmured, scratching the back of his head. He still wasn't used to reactions like the one the boy was having before him. He still wasn't used to having fans.

"Whoa man...what are you doing in Malibu?" Joe asked, grinning broadly at the boy. He knew he was acting like a complete fan but, he and his brothers were big fans of the skater. He seemed to be going through the same things the brothers were going through but, the only difference was that he was doing it by himself.

"I'm just visiting friends," he stated, his gazing turning back to Lilly. He needed to talk to her and he knew that she would've been visiting him. She was biting her lip and he could tell that she was just holding in laughter – he wasn't sure why.

"Oh...you ah...you know Lils?" Joe grinned, slinging an arm around the girl. They had gotten more comfortable around each other. They were slowly becoming friends and had made plans to get to know each other alittle more before he left. He knew he would be spending all the time he could with the girl – she had his heart. He just needed to know if she could give him hers.

"Yeah...I know Sparks," Ryan nodded, eyeing the girl. Her gaze was drawn to the ground and he just wanted her to look at him. They were supposed to be trying to mend their broken past – she wasn't helping.

"I'm Joe by the way...Joe Jonas," he blushed, stretching out his hand. He always forgot to mention his name; he just thought people knew of him. He always just rushed blindly into things and never gave a second thought about the consequences.

"From that band? Um...The Jonas Brothers?" Ryan asked, looking between the two. He could tell there was a slight attraction but, he wasn't sure how they knew each other. He wasn't aware that Lilly hung out with celebrities regularly – given the excitement she got when she met all the skaters on the circuit.

"Yeah...that's us," Joe stated, grinning broadly. He was glad the boy had heard of them. He enjoyed when he met people that had heard the name of the Jonas Brothers' – it was something to be proud off. They used to be so small but, they had recently just gotten known.

"Yeah...um Rye, maybe we should g-"

"I can't believe that boy...why's he always the one that gets lost?" a voice muttered, exiting one of the hotel rooms. His back was turned to the three of them, but Lilly felt Joe stiffen slightly.

"You know what he's like Kev – he's probab..." Nick trailed off as he turned around to face his wide-eye brother. He took no notice of the other people but just stared at Joe – he was grinning broadly. His goofy grin was back in place. Nicks' curiosity was peaked when he saw his brother.

"Hey bro," Joe waved, extracting his arm from around Lilly's shoulder. He could feel both of his brothers' gazes and he shrunk slightly as he remembered why they would be talking about him. He had left 4 hours ago and was only just returning now.

"Joe! Where have you been?!" Kevin shouted, glaring at his younger brother. He took his older brother status very seriously – their mother had instructed him to look after the two younger siblings.

"Whoa...I've just been at the po-"

"Is that Ryan Sheckler?!" Nick screamed, jumping up and down excitedly. He had always wanted to meet the pro-skater and he was standing just outside of his room with a blonde girl. The two didn't seem to notice them until Nick had uttered his name.

"Uh...yeah, that's me," he waved, biting his lip anxiously. He really just wanted to talk to Lilly but he didn't have the heart to deny his fans. The boys seemed to be really excited to meet him and he couldn't deny them a chance to talk to him.

"You're the fucking man..." Kevin gushed, running up to the boarder. He knew Nick was right behind him – he could hear his brothers' footsteps. They always watched 'Life of Ryan' and kept up with his adventures in the skateboarding circuit. They were big fans of Ryans.

"I'd say you've got some fans Specks," Lilly grinned, winking towards the boy. She loved how he got embarrassed when fans were around – she knew he wasn't used to it. She would be worried if he ever got used to it.

"Shut up Sparks," he growled playfully, pulling the girl closer to his body. He needed to make sure everything was okay between them. He needed her to know that he wanted everything to be okay. He couldn't continue with his tour until it was all sorted.

"Is that your girlfriend?" Nick asked curiously, eyeing the two careful. He could see that they were comfortable around each other and he could tell that there was something there. He just wasn't sure if it was recent or in the past.

"Wha...N...no...this is...uh...th-"

"That's Lilly," Joe interrupted, eyeing the two himself. His gaze darkened as he saw Lilly lean closer to the boy – he wasn't sure what to make of that. He knew that the two knew each other but, he wasn't sure how close they were. He couldn't stop the surge of jealousy he felt when Ryan pulled her in close.

"Th...well, oops," Nick blushed, scratching the back of his head. He hadn't noticed his brothers' tense posture until now and he knew it was because of Ryan and Lillys' close proximity. He knew it was awkward for his brother.

"Nice to meet you," she smiled, waving gently at the blushing boy. She wasn't sure why the air seemed so tense at the moment, but, she stepped out of Ryans embrace none the less. She could see the anger in Joe's eyes and she didn't want anything to happen. She knew he wasn't one that controlled emotions very well – neither was Ryan.

"We've heard alot about you..." Kevin grinned, embarrassing his younger brother. It was times like these that he enjoyed being the older brother. He laughed as his brother ducked his head and his cheeks turned bright red.

"Have you now?" she questioned, raising her eyebrow at the boy in question. She didn't think he would tell anyone about her – she thought she was just a stop along the road for him. Obviously she meant alot more than she thought.

"Lilly...you're embarrassing the boy," Ryan stated, pulling the girl back. He could see the look in her eyes and he knew it was dangerous. She was up to something and he had to stop it before someone got hurt. Her plans always ended up with someone in trouble.

"It's okay...it's fun to have someone else do it every once in a while," Nick laughed, nudging his older brother. He couldn't help but tease the boy when the object of his affections was standing right in front of them. It was what brothers were for.

"Hey...I _am_ still here!" Joe pouted, glaring at the group surrounding him. It amazed him how much Lilly seemed to fit in with his brothers – they weren't aware just how much. Nick and Kevin seemed to cast glances her way every once in awhile; just to make sure she was still there. It made him smile as he noticed his brothers' protective side coming out for the girl.

"Aw, we're sorry Joey," Lilly whispered, pouting towards the boy. She had learnt that he couldn't resist her pouting – it was useful knowledge for her. She bit her lip and smiled sweetly towards the boy. She held back the giggle as he groaned in frustration and ran a hand through his hair. She knew she had won.

"We are keeping you..." Kevin whistled, grinning at the affect the girl had on his brother. He knew that Joe was completely infatuated with the girl and he thought that she would have a good affect on his brother.

"Thanks," she winked, turning towards the oldest sibling. She had a feeling that she would be getting to know the rest of the band quite well – they all seemed pretty close. She could see that Ryan also enjoyed their company; he was smiling the whole time.

"That's so unfair," Joe whined, glaring at the girl. It was unfair how she could just make him do anything with just one look. It was unnerving how she managed to do that aswell – no one had been able to do that.

"It's life big brother," Nick stated, ruffling his older brothers hair. He loved the affect the girl had on him and he wanted to see more of it. He wanted to see his brother happy and anyone could see that Lilly made Joe happy. He just wanted to see how it all played out. He wanted to see if they got their 'happy ending.'

"You people suck," he mumbled, crossing his arms indignantly. His scowl deepened as the hall erupted in laughter. He didn't come all the way to Malibu just to be laughed at.

"You know we're just kidding bro," Kevin said, ruffling the boys' hair. He knew that they should stop or Joe would take actually offense to what they were saying.

"You guys are funny," Ryan laughed, nodding towards the three. He had seen their music videos and, he really did want to meet them. They seemed nice enough and he thought that they were good role-models. They concentrated on family and on doing what they loved – just as he did.

"Thanks," all three grinned, scratching the back of their heads. They blushed as they looked towards each other – each doing the exact same actions. Maybe they had been spending too much time together; especially when they were doing the same things.

"Freaky..." Lilly hummed, looking towards the brothers. She could see the similarities between them. They really were close – she kind of hated them for it. Her mother was hardly around and her father had died 2 years ago. Her family was falling apart and she couldn't stop it; yet here was a family that was so close, they acted alike.

"Spot on Sparks," Ryan winked towards the girl, looking between her and Joe. He had noticed that the boys' eyes frequently landed on her and he couldn't hold back the grin. He was interested in her and the boy didn't know what he was getting himself into. Lilly had secrets that he was sure, not even her closest friends knew.

"We should really get going...we've gotta get to the studio in half an hour," Nick sighed, glancing at his watch. He was having a good time and he didn't want to leave just yet – but he knew that they had too. It was all a part of their sacrifice of doing what they love.

"Well...send Lils a txt and we'll catch a meal or somethin'," Ryan nodded, waving slightly as the boys' backed away. He really did want to spend some more time with them; they were fun. Hopefully he and Lilly can fix whatever's wrong with them and continue their friendly banter.

* * *

"Dude, Lillys' gorgeous," Nick grinned, walking into the studio. They had yet to talk about their encounter with the blonde beauty and he wanted to bring it up. The limo was silent as they progressed what had just happened. Not only had they met Lilly but also Ryan Sheckler.

"I know," Joe blushed, slumping onto the couch. They had to wait for the producer they were working with today – it was an aspect he was still unsure about. The brothers' wanted to write and produce their own songs but, they hadn't made it that far yet.

"Can you believe we met Ryan Sheckler?! I mean...dude...he's sick!" Kevin rushed, excitedly jumping into his seat. He couldn't believe the others weren't as excited as he was. Ryan Sheckler was their idol – his confusion was clear in his eyes. "How are you guys not as pumped as me?!"

"I think Joe's minds more on the blonde girl beside Sheckler..." Nick stated, eyeing his brother. He gave Kevin an incredulous look and he immediately calmed down. _'Am I the only sane one in this family...'_ he thought, looking between both the boys. Sometimes he thought Kevin was the clueless one in the family not Joe.

"Oh right...Lilly," Kevin hummed, smirking towards his younger brother. He knew the girl was beautiful – you could see it if you were blind. He just wasn't sure if Joe could handle a relationship. Joe had a reputation for playing the 'game' alittle too fiercely. If Joe saw something he wanted, he had no fear of going out to get it.

"Shut up...you guys embarrassed me enough infront of her just before," Joe blushed, leaning his head against the wall. He wanted to remember the events before the two had found them. He could still feel the wetness of his boxers – they hadn't had time for him to change.

"Was she with you when you went into the pool?" Kevin asked, looking towards the blushing boy. He knew something was up with Joe when he had taken a long time to return back to the hotel. Although Joe was fickle minded – he usually remembered where he was supposed to be at certain times.

"Yeah...she pushed me in," he laughed, remembering the sequence. He had taken her outside and she wanted to look at the pool – stupidly, he took her there. She immediately tricked him into falling into the water. He was so close to kissing her aswell.

"You really like her don't you?" Nick questioned, looking towards Joe. He studied his posture and remembered how he acted. Joe was completely alert when Lilly was around and it was slightly amusing to watch.

"Yeah...I really do Nicky..." he sighed, running a hand through his hair. He couldn't get her off of his mind; it was unnerving. She ignited a curiosity within him and he just wanted to find out more about her – he wanted to _know_ her ins and outs.

* * *

"That boy is completely inlove with you Sparks," Ryan observed, lying back onto his bed. His clothes were thrown everywhere but, he didn't care. Lilly had known him the majority of his life and she knew about his habits.

"No he isn't," she blushed, fidgeting with her hands. Her nervousness was coming back tenfold when she was alone with him. The passion she once felt had depleted and she looked at Ryan with new eyes. He wasn't the one she wanted anymore – he wasn't the one her body _craved _to touch.

"Trust me...I used to look at you like that...I know how the look is," he smiled, looking away as her eyes widened. Their relationship wasn't public knowledge – they had kept the secret well. They were each others' first everything – from love to kisses.

"Ryan..." she sighed, trying to catch his gaze. She knew they still had their 'problems' but, she also knew that they could get over it. She needed to leave the past in the past and move forth.

"Lils...it's okay really...I know that that part of our lives are over..." he murmured, biting his lip gently. He rolled his eyes as he realised that her nervous habit had rubbed off on him.

"I want you in my life Specks," she stated, locking eyes with his. She knew that he could read her eyes like an open book; she knew he would understand. She had missed him fiercely – she didn't want to lose him again.

"You haven't called me that in awhile," he grinned, winking towards the girl. He knew all was forgotten and was slowly being mended. He had missed her calling him that – she was the only one that did. They had made their own little names for each other; it was their little secret.

"Get your own lines Sheckler," she growled, punching the boy on the shoulder. She laughed as he tackled her onto the bed and started to tickle her. She had really missed him and she enjoyed his company. They were best friends.

* * *

Hey, hopefully you guys like this chapie...I'm trying to keep them all at a consistent length lol...please continue to read and review... :) Thankyou!


	5. Let The Games Begin

'_Thanks for the call Miss Lillian...'_

"Oh Miles, you know I didn't mean anything by it..." Lilly sighed, smiling on the other end. It was good to hear the girls' voice – she missed her. She was having this big adventure and Miley was missing out.

'_Just...just give me the goss...'_

"Nothing happened...I didn't end up going," she shrugged, looking towards the sleeping boy. They had just been to the skate-park together; his celebrity status getting tiring. They were mobbed everywhere they went. They couldn't hang out with the Jonas Brothers at all today because they were stuck in the studio.

'_What?! And you tell me this now?!'_

"It's...alot has been happening at the moment Miley," she mumbled, walking into the hall. She could tell that the conversation would be loud – all conversations with Miley were. They got heated at the worst of times and she knew that Miley wouldn't give up until she knew every detail. She didn't want Ryan overhearing anything.

'_So...are you going to fill the popstar in or are we playing twenty questions?'_

"Ryans' back," she said, biting her lip anxiously. She remembered Mileys' reaction when she had told the secret in a harmless game of truth or dare. The girl was wild with anger – she didn't really want to know what the girl had to say about her decision but, she would listen because she knew Miley only wanted the best for her.

'_That skate-boarding dude?'_

"Yes Miley...you got it in one," she snapped, rolling her eyes at her friends stupidity. Sometimes she wondered about Miley – as if she had hit her head too many times from falling off of the stage.

'_Are you okay?'_

"I'm fine Miles...it's just...it's alot...I mean, with the Jonas Brothers and then Ryan returning...I think I'm in shock," she giggled slightly, leaning tiredly against the wall. It had been a long and emotional day for her. The highlight would've been the morning with Joe – he was so sweet to her. She immediately smiled whenever his name came up in the conversation; she knew she was falling quite fast for the boy.

'_What happened?'_

"He...he apologised and is trying to make amends. We're...we're friends now I guess," she murmured, closing her eyes. She loved that Mile always answered when she called; she knew that Miley was a good friend. She was always there for Lilly to lean on and she loved that. Of course, the support went both ways – the girls' were there for each other before anyone else.

'_Is that what you want? It doesn't do anyone any good when you deny your heart...'_

"Yes mama Miley...I'm pretty sure that's what I want – plus, I think my hearts beating for someone else at the moment," she stated, clenching her eyes. She didn't want to open her eyes to an empty hall – she just wished Miley was there to talk too. It wasn't the same through a telephone; she had to imagine her friends' reaction.

'_I knew Joseph would get you feeling differently...Oh wait, I'm sorry...does that mean you're like every other girl in the world?'_

"Alright, you can stop grinning like an idiot Miles – I'll admit that the boy is cute," she blushed, looking towards her feet. She needed to keep her mind occupied or it kept going back to thoughts of the boy in question. She still wasn't completely sure what she was supposed to do with her feelings – she knew if she started something with him, it would only end in heartbreak. She didn't do with an distance between anything in her life.

'_Just cute?! He's smokin'...They don't call him the hot Jo-'_

"Do I have to remind you of Nick? You know...curly-haired boy wonder?" she smirked, imagining her friends blushing face. She knew about Mileys' crush on the youngest Jonas and it was quite funny. She could go on for centuries about the attractiveness of Nick Jonas.

'_I hope that wasn't a dig at his hair Lillian...'_

"Oh of course not Miss Montana," she grinned, walking towards the window in the hall. She loved the beauty of just the stars – their brightness lighting the sky magnificently. It was one of the small things in life that she appreciated.

'_Have you talked to him other than at the bookstore? I mean, you could atleast call the boy – he did personally invite you to their concert. Oh my god...you didn't go to the concert! He's gonna think you're completely disinterested in him and then you want g-'_

"Miley...Miley! Its okay...by dumb luck, the Jonas Brothers are staying the room across from Ryans' at the Malibu Hilton. I came to visit Ryan and Joe was already there...we spent the morning together," she smiled, placing a piece of hair behind her ear. She looked out at the busy street – she was beginning to miss the sound of the ocean. She knew she couldn't really stay at the house; no one was there. It was safer for her to stay with Ryan, but, she knew her mom would be worried with that. She'd have to give her a call after Miley hung up.

'_Please please please...tell me the boys' are going to be there when I get back?'_

"I dunno...I only spent this morning with Joe...I haven't talked to him since," she shrugged, biting her lip gently. She knew Mileys' reaction to her statement would be excitement – usually it was the other way around.

'_You spent the whole mornin' with the boy?! You only mention this now? What is wrong with you woman?'_

"I'm sorry Miles...It must've slipped my mind..." she mumbled, grinning broadly. She could hear footsteps coming from the other end of the hall and she knew she had to hang up soon. She didn't want anyone to overhear their conversation.

'_Slipped your mind?! Sweet nibblets girl are you insane? Those things don't just slip your mind!'_

"Calm down Miley!" she shouted, stamping her foot. She knew she'd look like an indignant child, but, when Miley got on a rant – she hardly ever stopped. She usually slapped the girl lightly and that would shut her up.

'_Okay...okay...I'm sorry...I just...I'm missin' out you know?'_

"You know I'd prefer to have you here right?" she questioned, twirling a piece of her hair. She heard a door shut and she quickly turned around – the hall empty. She was curious as to who had overheard the conversation slightly; but, she concentrated on what Miley was saying.

'_Yeah I know...Look Lils, I've gotta go...I've got a concert practice – I'll call you later?'_

"You better," she nodded, hanging up the phone. She sighed as the full force of her situation came down on her –she was having the adventure of her life and her best-friend was nowhere to be seen.

"You okay?" a voice asked, making the blonde turn around. He saw her eyes widen as she saw who it was – he laughed slightly as he saw her face. It still amused him that he could get that type of reaction out of people.

"Nick...uh, yeah I'm fine," she blushed, sitting on the window sill. She found it unnerving standing before the boy –she knew nothing about him. She had a feeling that Joe had told them all about her attitude towards them; it was intimidating.

"Who were talking to?" he asked, looking curiously at the girl. He didn't want to pry but, he also didn't want her to make a fool of his brother. If she was talking to a boyfriend, he had to tell Joe – he could already see that the boy was smitten.

"My best-friend Miley...she's quite jealous," she grinned, winking towards the boy. She knew he would ask that question – she could read it all in his eyes. He was just trying to protect his brother and she admired him for that; maybe the Jonas Brothers weren't so bad after all.

"Oh okay...um, you wanna come in for a bit? I'm sure Joe would love to see you," he smirked, opening the door for the girl. He could do the 'protective' brother thing another time - he wanted to get to know her. She had to be something special if Joe was so infatuated with her.

"Um...sure," she nodded, walking in before the boy. Her eyes scanned the scattered clothes throughout the suite – smiling as she remembered Ryans. All boys seemed to be alike.

"Sorry about the mess...we don't really let anyone up here," he stated shyly, scratching the back of his head. They never let anyone see their room because it was always a mess. Neither of the brothers could control their selectiveness of what to wear.

"It's okay...really...mine's exactly the same," she smiled, patting the boys' shoulder lightly. She had no idea why she felt so comfortable around the three boys – but, she was. They seemed to just have an aura about them that just comforted her; she liked it.

"You know...not m-"

"Nick! Where's my jeans?! I know you...Lilly?" he squeaked, covering his bare chest and crossing his legs. He blushed bright red as the girl continued to peruse his figure – clad only in his daffy duck boxers. They weren't expecting visitors at that time of night.

"Nice," she laughed, tearing her gaze away from his body and up to his eyes. He looked stricken with embarrassment and she couldn't hold back the giggles. The famous Joe Jonas stood before her in only daffy duck boxers – she'd have to tell Miley about that one.

"Hey, daffy duck is an important character you know...he's like...he's l-"

"Here...put some clothes on," Nick muttered, chucking a pair of bright red jeans at the indignant boy. He couldn't help but wonder how he was related to him sometimes – he was just so weird.

"My eyes," Lilly cried in laughter, covering them roughly. She knew that she shouldn't be complaining, but, it was just funny to see Joe so indignant. She thought he looked completely hot when he was trying to defend himself. It gave her a thrill just to see his eyes sparkle.

"So you're tellin' me that you don't like what you see?" Joe questioned, stepping closer to the gasping girl. He licked his suddenly dry lips as his body came in contact with hers. His eyebrow was raised as he looked down at the girl.

"Oh brother," Nick mumbled, walking out of the room. He left the two alone – knowing that he didn't want to see anything between them. He was wondering when Joe would make a move – maybe now was the time.

"You...ah...you...um..." she trailed off as he brought a hand up to trail down her arm. She bit her lip as she closed her eyes in pleasure. She wasn't sure why his touch affected her so much – he was just a boy. She knew she should step back; turn away – but, he was too close and her senses were on high. He was invading her space and she couldn't seem to get enough of him.

"Yes?" he smirked, his confidence back. He slid his body even closer to hers – every inch of him touching her. He grinned smugly as she closed her eyes at the contact; a sure sign of pleasure. His eyes moved to her lips – licking his own in anticipation.

"It's not...you..." she blushed, closing her eyes as his head tilted down. She expected to feel his lips against hers but, she felt nothing but a breath. Opening her eyes she saw his own up-close – his fore-head resting against her own. She bit her lip at the closeness of him; breathing in deeply.

"You really are beautiful," he whispered, leaning back slightly. His hands hooked themselves into her belt-loops – keeping her as close to him as possible. He wasn't ready to give up on her yet. He leaned in closer, his bent low as he placed a tender kiss on her neck – nipping slightly at the flesh. He wasn't sure if he was going to fast but, by the little moan she let slip – he thought she was fine with it.

"Joe..." she moaned, titling her head to the side. Her hands gripped onto his fiercely – leaning even closer to him. She wasn't quite sure what she was doing; his brothers' could walk in at any moment, but, she didn't care. Joe was holding her as if he never wanted to let go and she didn't want him too.

"Tell me again why you don't like what you see," he whispered into her ear, entwining his hands with hers. He pulled back slightly – her scent intoxicating. He wasn't sure how much longer he'd be able to control himself around her; he had slightly lost himself just before.

"You...you are just...sometimes..." she breathed, looking up at the boy. She just wanted the games to stop between them – she wanted something from him. She wasn't sure what she wanted from him but, she knew that she just had to have it. She could feel him all around her and she enjoyed that. She enjoyed how she seemed to fit perfectly against him – her body moulding into his.

"You're gonna have to finish a sentence sooner or later," he grinned, placing a stray strand of hair behind her ear. He needed to take a step back from her or else he'd let his emotions control him.

"You're a tease," she accused, glaring at the boy. He had taken a step back; she was glad but, she was also disappointed. She wanted something to happen between them but, she knew it was moving too fast. Sometimes she couldn't control herself – especially when people completely invaded her senses. He was everywhere around her and she liked that – she liked the knowledge that he wanted her.

"You know you l-"

"Can I come in now?" Kevin questioned, walking in with his hands over his eyes. He knew the two were having a 'conversation' but, he also wanted to get to know the girl aswell. Nick had come into his room blushing and mumbled something about Joe and a girl. He knew it was Lilly.

"Man..." Joe groaned, pulling the t-shirt over his head. He had gotten distracted by 'playing' with Lilly and he knew he would get an interrogation from his brothers. It was something they were known for.

"Sorry bro, gotta get some food," Kevin grinned, ruffling his younger brothers' hair. He winked towards the blushing blonde and proceeded into the kitchen. He knew Nick would be coming out soon – the boy needed to get over his shyness.

"Hey, we gave you your private time...now it's family time," Nick laughed, slouching an arm around Joe's shoulders. He was going to have fun while Lilly was there; it was time to exact his revenge for the many pranks that Joe had pulled on him and Kevin.

"Family time?" Lilly asked, looking awkwardly towards the door. She wasn't sure whether that was a subtle hint for her to leave or if she was allowed to join in. She could see the embarrassment within Joe's eyes and she smirked slightly. She really wanted to get back at the boy for embarrassing her and she knew his brothers' were experts at it.

"Yes...family time plus Lillian," Kevin winked, placing an arm around the girls' shoulders and pulling her further into the room. He ignored the glare sent his way from Joe and sat the girl on the couch. He ruffled her hair slightly and took the seat beside her.

"No...no...please...you guys...I think it's...um...bed time!! Yes, bed time...come on Nick, you know we've gotta get to the studio and Kev...don't you have prac-"

"Oh shush Joe...we just want to get to know Lilly alittle more – just as I'm sure she wants to know more about us," Nick waved, quieting the boy gently. He had slouched into the armchair beside the couch and watched as Joe slumped onto the couch beside Lilly. He noticed her slight awkwardness in the situation but just sent her a calming grin – he wanted her to feel comfortable around them. He had a feeling that she would be spending alot more time with them; just by the way Joe was looking at her.

* * *

Hey guys, I thought I'd put alittle bit of Loeness into the chappie...hopefully it's alright? Anyway, I just wanna thankyou all for the reviews - they've been really helpful towards continuing the story :) You guys should keep reading though...oh and reviewing! Lols...Have fun xox


	6. Let The Games End

**_Hey guys...I just wanna thank you all for your reviews - they help alot in continuing the story :) (hint hint) lols. But, I thought I'd warn that this chappie is alittle descriptive for jsut the last bit but I still hope you read and enjoy!! Hope you like it!_**

* * *

"So Lil-lay, what's crack-a-lackin'?" he asked, slinging an arm around her shoulder. He hadn't seen the girl for a while – she appeared not to be home. He had visited just the day before and found the house completely empty except for their house-keepers.

"How many times do I have to tell you not to say those words?" she groaned, burying her head in her hands. She had just left the suite after having a conversation with the 'JoBros' – not knowing that the boys' could talk longer than her and Miley.

"I'd say several more babe," he grinned, winking towards the blonde. He could see something had changed within her – he had known her since pre-school. He could see something was troubling the girl; he would offer to help if only she'd ask.

"You...are...a...dork," she mumbled, playfully glaring at her best-friend. He really was a laugh just to be around. He was who she turned to when things got rough – especially between her mother and father.

"Cuts me deep Lillian," he mocked, clutching his heart dramatically. He only wanted a laugh out of the girl and he received one. He grinned in satisfaction – he hadn't seen her smile in a while.

"Get up Oliver...people are staring," she growled, hauling the boy up by his collar. She blushed slightly as he flailed violently – crying bloody-murder. He was always the comedian amongst them and she was glad for it. She needed some 'down-time' with her friends; one's she was comfortable with.

"Sorry, sorry...serious," he apologized, dragging a hand over his face. He took a seat across from the pouting girl and ordered a soda. He looked closer at Lilly and raised an eyebrow – it was her turn to start.

"I met Joe Jonas," she blurted out, blushing madly as both of the boys' eyebrows rose. She knew he knew of her 'hatred' for the Jonas Brothers – she couldn't seem to understand their claim to fame.

"Let me guess...you've fallen madly and completely inlove with the rockstar?" he questioned, leaning forward in anticipation. He knew her and Miley too well – he could see the eagerness in her voice. He didn't see a problem with it at all; as long as the boy knew not to hurt her.

"Well...I wouldn't say completely...or madly...or inlove..." she mumbled, looking towards the ground. She could hear Olivers' laughter and sent the boy a glare of warning. She didn't tell him to be teased but, she knew that would be what he would do. It was what any of the friends would do.

"So Miss 'one girl in the world who hates the Jonas Brothers' has to eat her words huh? Gives new meaning to the words you'll never know aye," he grinned, wincing as the girl punched his shoulders roughly. She was abnormally strong for a girl her size. He knew that her athleticism was helped somewhat with the skate-boarding and surfing she did – he just didn't think her muscles were that defined.

"Oh shut up," she rolled her eyes, whacking the boy atop of the head. She knew he meant no harm by his comments – always ending them with a smile. She admired that he could just make her smile; she needed that at the moment. Everything seemed to be moving so fast that she just needed a familiar face.

"You called me because..." he trailed off, allowing her to finish the sentence. He looked towards the girl as she bit her lip in nervousness – he knew she was thinking everything over. It had only been two days but, she appeared to be living in the fast-lane. He wasn't sure where he fit anymore.

"I want you to tell me what to do..." she answered, looking wide-eyed at the boy. She wanted him to make things clearer – he was always able to do that when they were younger. He just simplified things down for her; he was able to get her to look at things in a different light.

"Do you like him?" he asked, already knowing the answer. He knew what she was asking him to do before she even told him so. She always seemed to come to him for that sort of thing.

"Well...I know that he's attractive...b-"

"Na ah ah Lils...do you like him?" he asked again, tilting the girls' face to look him in the eyes. He could always read her like an open-book and he was using that to his full advantage. He needed to make sure she was making the right decision.

"Yes," she nodded resolutely, smiling widely at the boy. It felt good to admit it out-loud. She could see the sparkle of amusement within her friends gaze and blushed slightly. She usually wasn't so out-right with her feelings – he enjoyed that he was able to get her to confess.

"What are you doing here then?" he grinned, laughing as the girl burst off in the direction she had come from. He casually leaned back and smiled in satisfaction – he loved helping his friends.

"Watch out Oken...you might fall," Jackson winked, nodding towards the tilting chair. He had seen what the boy had done and he couldn't help but admire him. He allowed Lilly to follow her heart – an advice he took to heart.

* * *

"Lilly?" he asked, staring wide-eyed at the girl. She had left just two hours ago and she was back – he was alittle confused. He knew his brother missed the girl; he was calling her name in his sleep. It was quite amusing actually.

"Uh...hey Kevin...is Joe around?" she blushed, scratching the back of her head. She could see the confusion in the boys' eyes but, she could tell he was happy to see her. His eyes lit up at just her image. She enjoyed how she had become a part of their lives in such a short time.

"Yeah...come in, come in," he muttered, stepping back to allow the girl in. He scratched his upper arm in embarrassment – he had just immediately gotten out of bed, expecting it to be room-service. The boys' weren't used to the weather and slept only in a pair of boxers.

"Thanks," she grinned, licking her lips playfully at the boy. She could see he was uncomfortable in the state of dress but she couldn't understand why – the boys' had amazing bodies. He had no reason to be shy around her; she had already seen it all.

"Um...this way," he motioned, indicating for her to follow him. He knew she'd be surprised at the state Joe was in – last he left him he was clutching a pillow for dear life. He'd have to get him on camera one of these days.

"He's...he's sleeping?" she questioned, eyeing the rumpled bed critically. She wasn't sure if she should wake him – she knew he had an important appointment later on in the evening. Somehow, the boys' were performing again; a sold out concert.

"Yeah, just wake him up – we've all gotta get up soon anyway," he shrugged, walking out of the room. He wanted to give the two privacy – he knew they had alot to sort out. Despite himself, he had seen the 'show' the two put on before; there were definite fire-works between the two.

"Um..." she mumbled, looking curiously at the clutching the pillow. She thought he looked adorable – his hair askew and clinging desperately to the pillow. She smiled at him, walking closer to the boy. She stroked the hair away from his eyes lightly, whispering for him to awake. Biting her lip, she ignored the tingle she received when he lent into her hand – sighing in contentment.

His hand whipped out to clutch her wrist, pulling her onto the bed with him. She noticed his eyes still tightly closed – flipping her over so her back was on the mattress. He immediately shuffled himself closer; sprawling a leg and arm onto her and burying his head in the crook of her neck. "Joe?" she asked, looking quizzically at the boy. She wasn't sure if he was awake or not but, she had a feeling he wasn't. He was still snoring softly as he snuggled closer.

Smiling wickedly, she pulled slightly away from the boy – giggling as his grip tightened as if he feared she'd leave. She began to lightly blow onto his ear; suppressing the urge to laugh as he swatted the air in irritation. She leant closer to his neck, gently placing a tender kiss along his jaw-line. She grinned into his shoulder as he unintentionally pulled her closer – flushing their bodies together. Gently, she pulled her arms up above her head, biting her lip in thought – she wasn't sure if this was the right way to wake the boy up.

"I don't get another kiss?" he questioned, opening one eye to gaze at the girl. He knew she was there from the moment she stepped into his room – he could just feel it in his bones. He smiled as both of his eyes opened and realised it wasn't a dream. He wanted her with him for his life – he just wasn't sure how to tell her.

"You jerk..." she giggled, slapping his bare chest gently. She couldn't believe he had been awake for the entire time. Sighing she leant back; trying to make some room between them. They needed to sort some things out.

"Do I not get another kiss?" he asked again, grinning madly at the girl. He couldn't believe that she was lying before him. All he wanted to do was hold her against him and just keep her there. He felt as if she belonged in his arms.

"Hm...I do-" she was cut off as he placed his lips over hers. His hands were gripped tightly onto her waist as she wrapped her own around his neck. She released a moan as he rolled them over – her body fitting perfectly underneath his.

He grinned into the kiss as she moaned in delight – trailing her hand along her toned stomach. One arm was to the side of her head to steady himself in the kiss – he didn't want to crush the girl. Gently he pulled away, placing one last delicate kiss to her lips. He could see they were swollen and he swelled with pride. He loved how she looked – half ravaged and half in a daze of passion.

"You look beautiful," he smiled, placing a strand of hair behind her ear. He could see what she was feeling – it was clear in her eyes. He knew she wanted him; she wouldn't have kissed him back if she didn't. He could feel her beneath his skin and he liked that feeling. He wasn't used to feeling like he was – he rarely ever felt this way about a person.

"Thankyou..." she blushed, breathing in deeply. She felt as if she was in a dream – the boy above her someone she never thought she would ever see. She closed her eyes as he just continued to gaze upon her. She wanted to know what he was thinking. She wanted to know what he wanted to do with the rest of his life – she wanted to know _him._

"Open your eyes," he whispered, bending close to her ear. He wanted to see her eyes as he told her how he felt. He wanted her to see the truth in his own – he wanted her to see the real _him. _He watched as she bit her lip; a nervous habit he loved about her.

"No...I don't want too..." she said, shaking her head gently. She didn't want the dream to be over. If she opened her eyes – she didn't want his image to fade away. She knew, deep in her mind, that she had walked here – that she was actually there. But, she couldn't help the dread as she felt his hand stroke her cheek. Tears entered her eyes as he stopped her shaking head.

"Please...open your eyes," he pleaded, urging her with his touch. He could feel her trepidation in the air – he bit his lip anxiously. He really needed her to open her eyes; just so he could catch a glimpse of what she was feeling. He could feel the emotions in the air and he allowed himself the soak in the waning thread of the unknown. He knew something would change between them but, he was unsure if it was the beginning or the end.

"No..." she repeated, turning away from his touch. She knew she was being childish – he wouldn't fade away. But, she wanted to stay in the dream for a while; just soak in the closeness of the boy. She smiled slightly as she felt him placed a kiss onto her forehead; she heard his sigh of disappointment. She didn't want to disappoint him so, she opened her eyes. She could see he had his wide with shock and she giggled slightly.

"You opened your eyes..." he smiled, stroking her cheek gently. He knew that if someone walked in they'd think the wrong thing – he was still on top of the girl. He just couldn't seem to move; just a single touch from the girl and he was invigorated.

"You asked me too..." she murmured, smiling shyly up at the boy. She wasn't quite sure what was happening between them but she had decided to wait it out. She'd let him make the first move and then go from there.

"I guess you're right," he shrugged, winking towards the girl. He knew she was waiting on him but, he just had to make sure that it was what she wanted. It was easy enough to give in to desires but it was a whole other thing to have a relationship. He wasn't sure if she could handle the distance between them.

"I'm always right," she smirked, dropping her arms from around his neck. She knew he was delighted with her touch – she could see that by the way he leant towards her. She was willing to let him take the lead; she was willing to work for it.

"Right...what was that again about the Jonas Brothers? You _don't_ like them?" he laughed quietly, making sure to keep his voice low. He knew they were dodging the topic but, he just wanted her to stay comfortable. He knew their banter would turn serious soon enough – he could see the slight confusion in her eyes.

"I never said that changed," she grinned wickedly, watching as the boy pulled away in mock-shock. She could see the laughter in her eyes and she knew it was reflected in her own. There was just something about the boy infront of her that made her weak in the knees. It had nothing to do with his celebrity status – it was all to do with the way he looked at her. His eyes seemed to sear right into her soul and shivered at the thought. She felt as if he was getting to know her through and through.

"Cuts me deep Lillian," he mocked, clutching his heart dramatically. He unknowingly repeated the words of her best-friend and he was confused as she seemed to erupt in a state of laughter. He tried to muffle her sounds by placing a hand over her mouth but, she just continued to wriggle around. He sent her a look of confusion as she seemed to calm herself down – glancing over his shoulder at the door; he nodded at the girl to continue.

"You really have to meet Oliver," she smiled, stroking his cheek gently. She knew he was confused – she had never mentioned the boy before. She watched as jealousy ignited within his eyes and she giggled slightly. She could see that he was already attached to her and she smiled at the thought.

"Who's that?" he glared, his jealousy flaring slightly. His grip tightened on her waist slightly as he growled in frustration. He knew he had no reason to be jealous – they weren't even together, but, he couldn't help it. The girl was under his skin and he wanted to keep her there. If she belonged to another he wasn't quite sure what he would do.

"My best-friend," she giggled, winking towards the boy. She couldn't hold back the laughter as he blushed in embarrassment. She ran a hand through his tousled hair and quickly bent up to place a chaste kiss onto his lips. Biting her lip; she gently laid back down – waiting to see what he'd do next. It was all up to him.

"You drive me crazy..." he murmured, capturing her lips in a searing kiss. His hands trailed up her sides to tangle within her dirty blonde hair. He pulled her roughly against him as she gasped in surprise – his tongue duelling with hers. He moaned in satisfaction as she trailed her hands along his chest; wrapping her legs tightly around his waist.

Pushing herself against him, she tilted her head to allow the kiss to become deeper. Her legs naturally wrapped themselves around his waist – pulling the two even closer. She felt him try to pull away but she held him still; she didn't want it to end – not just yet.

"God..." he panted, finally pulling away. It was just one kiss but he could feel the passion between them. It was brewing in the air and he just let it soak between the two of them. He knew they had to be careful – his brothers could walk in at any minute.

"You have no idea..." she gasped, breathing heavily. Her legs slowly unwrapped themselves from his hips and entwined themselves with his. She knew she'd have to control herself around him alot more – she couldn't lose control. She wasn't sure if she could stop herself around him.

"Go out with me tomorrow night..." he whispered, entwining his fingers with hers. He could still see the lust within her gaze and he knew it was mirrored within his own. He needed to place some space between them soon – he wasn't sure if he could keep his hands away much longer. She seemed to be able to create a passion within him that only she could control.

"Okay," she nodded, biting her lip as he placed a chaste kiss onto her neck. She knew he was about to pull away – if they stayed there much longer they wouldn't be able to control themselves. He was trying to respect her; he didn't want to move too fast.

"Good," he stated, pulling fully away from the girl. He slowly detached himself from her – allowing her space to sort things out. He knew things were abit weary between them but, he just hoped they would work. He seemed to need her at the moment – she seemed to make things clearer.


	7. Don't Be Afraid

**_So I just wanted to say thankyou to all the reviewers - you'll have been really great in helping me to continue with the story..._**

_Talita-Michelle : **I really like the loe moments in the last chapter aswell - except for the ending...it was kinda rushed but I'm glad to know you enjoyed it. There will be alot of Lilly hanging out with Nick, Kevin and Ryan in the next couple of chapters...Joe will be with her though as well so they may have a few moments put in aswell. I'm excited that someone else likes the Ryan/Lilly friendship aswell - I read a story where she was his sister and I think it just kinda makes sense...alittle...lols. But please continue to review and if you have any ideas, put them through as well... :)**_

_Stylin'Fire :_ **_Heya, thanks for the review on the last chapter - it's cool to know that someone also likes my writing style lols. Sometimes I feel I over describe stuff though...if you thinks so put it in the review (If you review more that is lols) and I'll see what I can do about it. If you have any ideas also put them through...I have one big dramatic even coming up, but, I'm not sure what to do before that...?_**

_MyJonasSensesAreTingling3 : **THANKS for your latest review, I really like the last chapter as well aye - it kinda made sense of all the 'loeness' sorta...maybe? Anyway, I just hope you continue to read and review because I love to hear feedback - preferably nice feedback lols. If you have any ideas put them through and I'll see what I can do about intergrating them in...? Do you think that's a good idea? If not, say in the next review...if you continue to review (please do...) lols. Thankyou for your support... :)**_

_Swim4Life : **I'm sorry that you get frustrated about the slowness of updating but I am trying to get them up and written as soon as possible - sometimes I lose my train of thought and I'd write a chapter but it's deeper into the series...I've already written a chapter with the main focus of drama for the story - I'm real excited to put it up lols. To answer your question about the Niley aspect...yes, I'm thinking of putting abit of it in...Kevin will also find some love - those aspects of the two boys lives will be in individual chapters completely dedicated to them. But, it won't be until later on - I want to get Lilly closer to the boys' before introducing them to Miley and Kevins' 'love.' Please continue to read and review and if you have any ideas, put them through and I'll see what I can do... :)**_

_luv me xoxo GossipGal : **Yeah, I was wanting Oliver and Joe to seem kind of alike - because they both seem to be goofballs lol. I was reading alittle bit more about the brothers - just to get a judge of character and I've realised that Joe's alittle bit out of character maybe...? I dunno. Oh well lol...hopefully you continue to read and review and if you have ideas just put them through lols...**_

_LittleMissObsessive15 : **Thanks for the compliment on my writing style, I didn't think any paid that much attention to it lols...I also love getting your reviews - I think you're the most regular reviewer and I love that!! :) Thankyou so much for continuing to read and review - I love hearing what people have to say about my story :) If you have any ideas about how to enhance the story just say it in the reviews! LoLs :)**_

**_On with the story..._**

* * *

"Lilly...Lilly! Relax, take a breath and start again," Ryan sighed, looking towards the girl curiously. She had burst through the doors and let out a squeal of happiness – something must of happened.

"I...Joe Jonas just asked me out!" she squealed, clapping delightedly before her. She couldn't stop the squeals. She had just left the boys' to get ready – Nick had invited her and Ryan to go to the concert. He said that she needed to be there.

"So the boy grew some huh?" he grinned, winking towards the girl. He could see the blush appear on her cheeks and laughed loudly. She was always shy when it came to her personal life and he wondered if she knew what it meant to be dating a rockstar – she'd be hunted by the media.

"Ryan..." she scolded, punching the boy on the shoulder. She could feel the heat on her face and knew she was blushing madly. She couldn't help that she was shy about who she liked – she was always a private person when it came to that.

"I'm sorry Sparks...but, good for you," he cheered half-heartedly, biting his lip. He knew that it her new 'relationship' with Joe would result in her not having that much time to spend with him. He remembered when they had first started going out – they couldn't stay away from each other. He just hoped she would have enough time to spend some time with him.

"You know Specks...they invited us to go to their concert tonight," she smirked, eyeing the boy. She knew what he was thinking – she was thinking the same thing. She could already feel herself missing Joe but she knew that she and Ryan needed some time together. They had hardly seen each other for 6 months and he had come all the way to Malibu to see her – he deserved to spend some time with her.

"You mean...an arena filly with screaming girls?" he questioned, widening his eyes. He wasn't too sure if he could handle all the screaming fans – even if they weren't for him.

"How's that different from your skate-park tours?" she retorted, raising an eye-brow in question. She knew he was hesitant; she could see it in his eyes but, she wanted to be there for the boys. It was the second she had been personally invited and she couldn't not go.

"Yeah okay..." he mumbled, turning away to get ready. He could never seem to deny the girl anything – she had a power over him. He didn't want to see the girl upset anymore; he had caused her to cry too many times. He would do this one thing for her and she'd be happy. He was more than willing to have the girl smile.

"Thanks!" she screamed, hugging the boy tightly. She could see his reluctance but she knew he'd do it in the end. He would always give in to her – it was one of her talents. She felt slightly guilty for not inviting Oliver but, she wanted to spend time with Ryan. They could hang out during the show and then all four of them could hang out afterwards. She enjoyed spending time with the brothers.

* * *

"Pumped for the show bro?" Kevin asked, looking towards Joe. He could see the boy fidgeting and he remembered the boys' nervous habit. He wasn't sure why Joe was nervous – he never usually was. He was such an energetic boy that he thrived when they played; it was as if he was made for the stage.

"Lillys' going to be here," he mumbled, looking down shyly. He was nervous to play infront of her – he knew she didn't like their music. She had made it clear the first day he met her. He just wanted her to like that band – he just wanted her to like _him._

"You're nervous to play infront of a _girl?_" Nick questioned, looking at his brother carefully. He could see the nervousness in the boys' eyes and he was wondering why – Joe was always the confident one. He played infront of millions of girls' yet this one reduced him to a nervous-wreck; he'd have to remember that when it wasn't so important to be on-stage.

"She's different Nicky..." he answered, turning his gaze to meet his brothers. He wanted them to understand that he just wanted the girl to have a good time. She had never been to one of their concerts and he knew she would be curious as to what it was like. He was nervous to see her in the crowd; he wasn't sure if he'd be up for it.

"Bro...take a breath...that girl is completely in awe of you – I don't think you could do anything wrong even if you tried too," Kevin laughed, placing a hand on his younger brothers' shoulder. He needed to ease the tension in Joe or else the boy would be a mess all night. He didn't think Lilly would cause such an affect.

"Yeah Joey – just focus on us...it'll be okay," Nick smiled, nodding towards the boy. He was curious as to what it was about the girl to cause such a difference in Joe – he felt the need to get to know the girl. He had tried before but Joe had interrupted; he had somehow sensed that the girl was there.

"I dunno guys...I mean, she doesn't even like our music! What if she doesn't like the concert?!" he exclaimed, slumping onto the couch. They still had an hour before the crowd started to fill and their sound-check had been flawless. They were just relaxing and waiting to be called upon – he wasn't sure his nerves could handle the pressure.

"Joe...that's fine if she doesn't enjoy the concert – what matters is if she likes you...I mean, you were curious about her because she didn't fall at your feet like every other girl...just breathe," Kevin stated, shaking the boy lightly. He could see the sheer panic in his brothers' eyes and just hoped the girl got there soon. He had a feeling she was the only one that could calm the boys' nerves.

"You just...you weren't...I want her...I c-"

"Spit it out!" Nick shouted, stomping his foot slightly. He was getting impatient with the stumbling boy and couldn't help but to build the tension. He was alittle scared to see Joe in such a state – he was always the calm, goofy one. He wasn't sure what to make of him being so affected by just a single girl.

"Our music is a big part of me...how can she not like a part of me?" he whispered, gazing helplessly at his brothers. He knew they weren't used to seeing him so vulnerable; he wasn't exactly sure why he was acting that way. But, the girl seemed to push him to the edge on all his fears.

"I haven't even seen that part of you," a voice called from the shadows, stepping into the light. She wasn't aware that her 'dislike' of their music would cause such damage. She could see him crumbling slightly at the thought. She shyly smiled at the other two boys as they took a step back to give them some privacy.

"In the music store..." he trailed off, gazing at the girl with confusion in his eyes. He didn't understand what she was saying – he had heard the insults before. He thought she had heard their music and atleast given them a chance to show her what they could do.

"In the music store I was just ranting...to be honest, I haven't even heard a single piece of your music – well, except Camp Rock but, that's a different story," she shrugged, taking a step closer to the slumped boy. She knew she didn't have much time – Ryan was waiting in the crowd and she could hear the shouts of his name. He was probably getting mobbed by the fans of the brothers and she said she'd protect him – she'd have to leave soon.

"So you judged by just a glance?" he asked, raising an eye-brow at the girl. He wasn't aware she was so judgemental. He thought she'd atleast take the step to know abit more about the person before leaping into what she thought they were.

"No...I judged by my opinion. I had heard all about you all...my best-friend is a fan – I just...I dunno what I was thinking," she sighed, running a tired hand through her hair. She knew the question would be asked sooner or later but, she didn't expect it to be so sudden. She didn't think her words would affect him so thoroughly – she didn't think she was that important to him.

"What...what if you don't like that part of me?" he questioned, his voice almost silent. He reached out to her – pulling her towards him more insistently. He needed to make sure she was actually there; she was his lifeline at the moment. He was confused and helpless – looking towards her for an answer.

She knelt in-between him legs, bending her head to catch his fallen gaze. She smiled shyly as he returned her gaze and reached out to graze his cheek. She could see that he needed to be re-assured for some reason and he was looking towards her for the answer. "You don't have to be afraid to show me who you are...we all have pieces of ourselves that we're all scared to show..." she murmured, dropping her hand. She didn't realise it was such a feat for the boy – she had heard all about his performances. He was everywhere and anywhere on the stage and the crowd absolutely loved him. She knew that he shouldn't be afraid.

"I'm just...I'm nervous..." he responded, smiling slightly at the girl before him. Her presence was slowly soothing his nerves and her words made him smile. She was comforting him and she didn't appear to know it at all. He knew it was strange – they were acting as if it was the end of the world but, to him, it felt like that. He felt that if she didn't like his music – there was no way they could continue their 'friendship.' He couldn't do half and half; he needed them all.

"You've got no reason to be Joe...I know you perform so well with your brothers," she smiled, patting his knee gently. Her gaze lingered on chest – the red silk wreaking havocs on her senses. She wasn't sure if she could last the rest of the concert without touching him. She knew she had to be strong for him – he was leaning on her for support.

He leant his forehead against hers in thanks – closing his eyes to take in the moment. It was moments like these that he loved; just being able to feel and bask in the glory of it. He breathed deep, inhaling her scent and remembering it well – it would comfort him throughout the performance.

"Joe! We've gotta go..." Nick interrupting, looking down shyly. He didn't want to interrupt – he could see his brother was having a 'moment,' but, they were needed on stage. The arena was full and they were waiting on the brothers.

"Goodluck," she smiled, standing up and pulling him with her. She needed to get back to Ryan and watch the show. She just hoped he was going to have a good show – she didn't want her presence to ruin it. She didn't think he'd be nervous about performing infront of her at all; he performed infront of millions of people.

"Thankyou..." he murmured, stroking her cheek gently. He wasn't sure if she was ready for what he had in mind for them – but, he had to take a chance. He wasn't willing to let the girl go just yet. She made him nervous for all the right reasons and he loved that.

"Joe, we really have to go..." Kevin insisted, pulling the boy away. He sent an apologetic look towards Lilly and quickly pushed the boy on-stage. He heard the crowd 'go wild' and shook his head ruefully – he hoped Joe would be his normal self again.

* * *

"How come you took so long to get back?" Ryan asked, walking with her backstage. He had to admit that the concert was awesome – minus the fans that mobbed him. The three brothers' were naturals on stage and he could tell that they all enjoyed what they did. They wore the same expression he did whenever he was skating.

"Crises," she shrugged, looking wildly around for the three brothers. She wanted to thank them for the invitation and make sure Joe was okay. He performed great and she blushed everytime he sent a look her way. She wasn't quite used to all his attentions yet.

"They were great," he nodded, letting her leave the topic silent. He knew she didn't want to talk about it; he remembered her dialogue well. He could still feel the slightly awkward air around the both of them but it was slowly disappearing – they were slowly becoming friends again.

"They were funny too...I wasn't aware that they were that 'into' their audiences," she mumbled, looking towards her friend. She thanked him silently for letting her leave the 'crises' silent – she still wasn't quite sure what to make of it. She had never known anyone to be afraid to show who they were; it was a difficult feeling to process.

"You're just jealous that Joe sung that love song to that girl," he smirked, nudging her with his shoulder. He remembered her tense posture as soon as the girl got up on stage – he laughed slightly as he remembered her face. She was insanely jealous as Joe gripped the girls' hand tightly and pulled her in for a hug. He wouldn't let the girl live it down.

"Shut up," she grumbled, crossing her arms indignantly. She knew it was all in the performance of the song but, she couldn't help the jealousy that coursed through her veins when she saw the two hugging. She wasn't expecting that to happen.

"Hey! Hey guys!" Nick shouted, waving frantically to get their attention. He ran to catch up with them, looking behind him to make sure he had lost all the fans. They had just been signing when a couple of girls' got a little over-zealous and were continuing to follow the group around.

"Hey Nick...you were great!" Lilly squealed, jumping into the boys' arms. She immediately pulled back when she realised what she had done – blushing furiously. She barely knew the boy but, she felt so close to his brother that she felt close to him aswell.

"Thanks, obviously you guys had fun," Nick blushed, looking curiously at the ground. He knew the girl was embarrassed about the hug but, he really didn't mind. He wanted to be the girls' friend and enjoyed spending time with her.

"Yeah, you guys are awesome," Ryan gushed, patting the boy on the back gently. He sometimes wished he could play a musical instrument but, he loved skate-boarding too much. He had lived his whole life to become a pro-skater and he wasn't about to ruin the dream.

"We do try," he smirked, popping his collar dramatically. He laughed right along with the two of them – erupting into another fit as he saw his brothers coming. Joe was stumbling towards them and continuously casting glances over his shoulder in fear – Kevin doing the same.

"What's the matter with them?" Lilly asked, pointing towards the two boys. She couldn't hold in the laughter as Joe tripped on one of the stage wires and pulled Kevin down with him – he was slightly clumsy.

"Help?" Kevin pleaded, looking towards the three of them. He couldn't believe his brother had pulled him down aswell – he didn't think Joe was that clumsy. Grasping Nicks' hand tightly, he was hauled up and set straight within a minute.

"Thanks for the help guys...really," Joe mumbled sarcastically, pulling himself off of the ground. He dusted himself off before looking towards the four. He was waiting to see what they had thought of the concert – to see if Lilly had enjoyed herself.

"Suck it up..." Lilly smiled, winking towards the boy. She grinned happily at him as he sent a mock-glare her way. She knew the fickle emotion of jealousy wasn't warranted so she pushed it aside; he was only trying to make the fans happy – she couldn't fault him for that.

"What do you guys wanna do now?" Nick asked, looking towards Lilly and Ryan. The brothers' thought they'd let them decide what they should do – they weren't Malibu natives. Lilly knew the place alot better than the rest of them.

"Um...I think I have a place but I don't think you guys would be into it," she answered, looking towards Ryan for conformation. She was unsure if she should take them to where they used to hang out – it wasn't what she was thinking they were used too. She used to be a wild-child.

"If they wanna go, they wanna go," Ryan shrugged, looking towards the three brothers. It wasn't his decision to make – he did miss the place though. He missed all the good times they had together. They were so young yet, because of who she was, they seemed to have no problem.

"I wanna go!" Joe stated, bouncing up and down. He was getting excited to get to know Lilly alittle more – she was going to show him a place where she used to go or still goes. It would be a glimpse into her past and he wanted to know her. If he shouldn't be afraid to show who he was – neither should she.

"If you're sure..." Lilly mumbled, turning and walking out the door. She wasn't sure if they even remembered her but, she knew she could get in. She didn't tell many people but, she had connections in the entertainment world – her parents held quite abit of influence. She knew the Jonas Brothers would get in with no protest; she just wondered if they knew what they were getting into. Her old scene was right out of the tabloids.

* * *

**_So as you can see there's alittle bit of mystery with what Lilly's hiding...that won't be revealed until the next chapter. Hopefully you guys are still enjoying it...? This chapter's probably alittle boring but I will be adding some drama soon - I mean, Lilly's dark pasts going to be revealed and Miley's coming back...what drama doesn't that girl induce?? lols_**

**_Continue to read and review!! Thankyou!_**

**_xox_**


	8. Trust Me

"Are you sure you wanna take them there Specks?" Ryan asked, looking curiously towards the girl. He knew the pain that the place held for her – it used to be her escape from her world. She didn't have the perfect life just as her friends did; her faults led to her finding an unknown word. The power of her familys' name didn't help in the girls' process to heal – the influence only hindered her rescue.

"Joe showed me a part of himself...I have to do the same..." she answered, biting her lip in nervousness. It wasn't just her past she was showing them – it was her mistakes aswell. She hadn't been to D'seray since Ryan had left; he had helped in the process of drawing her out of that world. Miley didn't know a thing about it and she liked to keep it as such. Her best-friend didn't even know where she lived.

"I don't think it's the same thing..." he murmured, furrowing his brows. He flickered his gaze towards the three boys' competing in a heated match of odds and evens and their concentrated faces – he wasn't sure if Lilly was ready for the repercussions. He didn't know how they were going to take the girls' pasts; many didn't expect it from her. She was a normal, Californian girl on the outside but, she had her secrets – she had her mystery.

"It'll be fine," she breathed, gazing towards the window. She knew it was a completely different story – Joe's singing was a large part of his life at the moment but, this was a large part of her past. She'd show it to them in a show of trust; hoping they wouldn't judge by just a glance. She felt as if she could trust them enough to let them in on her 'dark' past; she just hoped they wouldn't judge just as quickly as she did.

"I just don't want you hurt Sparks," he whispered, gripping her hand in his. He didn't care if they were getting looks from the brothers' – he needed to make sure that she was sure about the idea. He knew how hard it was for her to leave the place and he didn't want her going back. She was still recovering from the affects and he didn't know what would happen. He wasn't sure if the brothers' were that accepting.

"It'll be fine," she repeated, sending a faint smile his way. She turned her gaze back towards the brothers' as Joe sent her a look – she immediately removed her hand from his. She knew he was curious as to where they were going; usually they were told of their where-abouts. She was nervous of showing them where she used to spend all her time – it wasn't a usual hang-out for a 16 year old.

"What are you two talkin' about?" Nick asked, eyeing the two closeness. He had noticed his brother tense slightly and he was wondering why – he could see the un-easiness Joe felt at the familiarity shown between Ryan and Lilly. He was very curious as to where they were going but, he knew it was a 'surprise.'

"We're here," Ryan stated, looking out of the window. He could line of people waiting to get in and he recognised the man standing outside – it was as if the place hadn't changed at all. Time didn't seem to affect the building; it was still as well-lit as it used to be.

Climbing out of the car – the brothers' gasped in surprise. Neither of them had expected the place to be what it was; they were expecting a more 'subtle' hang-out. They never imagined a 16 year old girl hanging out in a club. It wasn't their territory either; they were the 'golden' boys of Hollywood – they weren't expected to be partying into the night.

"Well, well, well...if it isn't Miss Lillian back to grace our floor," a man grinned ferociously, strutting towards the blonde. His eyes were glued to her as she raised her gaze – taking a step towards him as if to protect the others. He sent a wink towards Ryan but trained his gaze on the girl.

"Lucien...we're just here for a good time," she muttered, stalking past the man. She didn't want to deal with him at the moment; she had left on bad terms. She felt the music pump through her veins – calling her forth. Turning away from the group behind her; she disappeared onto the dance floor. She needed to forget the encounter and just enjoy the night. She hadn't been there for 6 months and she wanted to have atleast one good memory of her past.

"Leave it alone Lucifer," Ryan growled, gripping the mans' top tightly. He had seen the lust in his gaze and he suddenly grew protective. He knew the boys' were too busy looking around the club to notice the man before him but, he needed to make sure Lilly was okay. She had disappeared onto the dance-floor and he knew it wasn't his job to go with her anymore.

"Hey, hey, hey Ryan...I'm not doing anything," Lucien murmured, ripping himself out of the younger boys' grip. He didn't think the boy was so protective of the tiny blonde – he'd have to be more delicate around him. He wanted the girl back and he'd do anything for it.

"Keep your hands to yourself," he glowered, pushing the man away and indicating towards the boys' to follow. He knew they were curious and he was shocked that Lilly had just walked off – he thought she was through running from her problems. He had thought he had helped her get over that.

"What was that about?" Joe asked, looking behind at the glaring man. He had seen the closeness the man had gotten to Lilly and he immediately disliked him. His eyes seemed to hold nothing and they moved about the crowd – he made Joe disorientated. He wasn't used to meeting that type of people; he had never even been into a nightclub. He had heard the stories that went along with the club he was in – D'seray – but, he didn't think he would actually set foot in there. It wasn't his 'scene.'

"Just the past catching up to Lilly," Ryan answered, taking a seat in a private booth. He had passed alot of people that he had once known but, they seemed to be too drugged up to even recognise him. He was thinking that it was a mistake to bring the brothers' there – he could see they were uncomfortable. Their stiff movements indicated as much.

"This...she used to come here?" Nick questioned, gazing wide-eyed at the surroundings. He was intimidated by the crowd of people that were all around him – he wasn't used to that many people. He could see that Kevin and Joe were in awe and terrified of the place; there were so many temptations.

"It used to be home," Lilly interrupted, making the group jump slightly. She could see the gratefulness in Ryans' eyes and she smiled in return. She didn't mean to leave the boy but, she needed to get away from Lucien. The temptation to fall back into old habits was still there and she didn't want a 'fall-back' infront of everyone.

"You used to..." Kevin trailed off, not wanting to finish his sentence. He couldn't imagine someone living in such a place – it reeked of alcohol and drugs. He could see the influence around him and he was uncomfortable. He wasn't sure if his brothers' should be there – they were underage. He didn't want his brothers' to see what was happening.

"My home...my house...it wasn't...this was my escape," she spoke, answering his silent question. She knew he was cautious of the place; he was the older brother. He was entrusted to keep the family safe and whole. She wasn't sure what their reception to her past would be like but she knew she had to show them – they had shared so much with her, she needed to do something in return.

"Never be afraid to show who you really are," Joe whispered into her ear, using her own advice. He slid an arm around her waist and pulled her into the seat beside him. He could see she was extremely doubtful of her decision but he had to give her his respect – she could've as easily kept this part of her past a secret. He wasn't quite sure the extent of her 'partying' ways but, he knew she had given that up. He could see her own discomfort at returning but he wanted her to enjoy the night. The club wasn't all that bad; he could feel the music rushing through his veins.

"You weren't...you didn't do...why did you come here?" Nick questioned, eyeing the girl. He could see her leaning on Joe for support and he thanked his brother silently for the support he was showing the girl. He knew Joes' feelings for Lilly must run deep if he was supporting her – none of them approved of drinking and drugs. They were bought up with strict values and all wanted to continue to follow that; they wouldn't deter into the 'dark' side of Hollywood.

"We were 16...it was the rush of doing something that no one else at our age could do," Ryan stated, his gaze switching between all three of the brothers. He could see the understanding beginning to enter their eyes and he smiled in thanks – they were trying. Not many people that the two had met would be as understanding as the three before him; they really were as perfect as the tabloids set them out to be. He was just thankful that no one had reported on his 'dark' past.

"I never picked you for the clubbing sorts Lilly," Kevin grinned, lightening the mood. He had decided that he would enjoy the night – serious discussion can be made later. He had seen the way Joe and Lilly looked at each other and he knew that they were going to talk about it later; deciding to enjoy the night. He accepted that people had faults and he knew that Lilly had overcome her problems – she wouldn't be standing before them today if she hadn't.

"Well...obviously you just haven't gotten to know me at all Kev," she smiled, reaching out to hug the boy in thanks. She giggled as Joe immediately pulled her back – putting her onto his lap. She sighed as he wrapped his arms tightly around her waist; burying his head in the crook of her neck. Her laughter increased as Kevin raised an eyebrow in curiosity; shrugging her shoulders in response. She wasn't sure what had provoked Joe to become slightly possessive but she liked the close contact. She needed his support alot at the moment – the draw of the people around her was intoxicating.

"Stay," he murmured, placing his chin on her shoulder. He couldn't control the surge of jealousy that ran through is veins as she hugged Kevin and he just let it run its course as he reached out and grabbed her. He wanted to keep her in his sights at all times in the club – he didn't want her running off again. He was just trying to re-assure her that he was there and he was accepting her past – but, they would talk about it later.

"You two are pretty cosy," Ryan observed, laughing as they blushed. He noticed that Joe didn't loosen his grip at all on the girl – only tightened it. He smiled at the 'couple;' he knew Joe would be good for Lilly. He seemed quite protective of the girl and understanding of her reluctance to trust many people. He only hoped that when it came time to leave; Lilly wouldn't fall apart.

"Yeah...what is up between you two," Nick smirked, raising an eye-brow at his brother. He could see that there was something between the two of them – he could feel it in the air. He was just curious as to how deep the feeling went; he knew that Joe fell hard and fast but he didn't know what Lilly was feeling. She was completely unreadable to him and it was slightly intimidating. He had never not been able to see through people's eyes.

"And it's your business because..." Joe remarked, sending a playful glare towards his brother. He didn't want to define their relationship – not yet. He wanted to get to know the girl alittle bit longer. He knew he was infatuated with her; he just wanted to see how deep the infatuation went. He curious to learn a few more of her secrets – he knew this was a big one.

"Let's dance!" Lilly squealed, jumping out of Joe's embrace. She gripped his hand tightly and pulled him onto the dance floor – allowing herself to succumb to the temptation of the beat. Grinning broadly, she wrapped her arms around his neck as he pulled her body closer – flushing them together.

"That's...I don't wanna see that," Kevin mumbled, turning his back on the dance-floor. The image of his younger brother and 'grilfriend' grinding on the dance-floor would be forever embedded onto his mind – he gave a shiver at the thought. He knew Joe would do anything for the girl; it was in every look the boy shot at her. He was just wondering if she would do the same – her eyes gave nothing away.

"Suck it up..." Ryan smirked, smiling at the couple on the dance-floor. He was happy that his friend was happy – he hadn't seen her smile that widely for a while. He felt a pang of regret as he remembered he was the one that used to cause her to smile so brilliantly but he knew that Joe deserved it; the boy had a place in her heart. Somehow the rockstar had given the girl a new hope – he hoped it would last.

* * *

_He stepped outside to breathe the air – the clubs' atmosphere was slowly suffocating him. His head pounded with the beat of the music; his head-ache getting worse. He wasn't sure why he was there – it wasn't his scene. The club...the aura was intoxicating and he was drawn to it slightly but, he was able to restrict the temptation. He didn't drink or succumb to the pull of drugs – he was only there for the music. Allowing the music to pull him in and allow him to forget the troubles of the day._

"_You're new here," a voice interrupted his thoughts, turning the boy around. His eyes widened as he gazed upon the girl – she was gorgeous. Her green eyes shone brightly in the dull light and her attire didn't leave much to the imagination. Her tight black dress showed her curves and he flexed his fingers – eager to run his hands over the material._

"_You're beautiful," he charmed, stepping alittle closer to the small girl. He saw her waver on her feet slightly and he took a step back. He wasn't sure if he wanted to get to know her anymore – he had seen her type before. She was addicted to the alcohol and he didn't want to be attached to someone like that. He didn't want to get drawn into that world._

"_Right," she scoffed, sliding down the wall she was leaning against. The place was slightly overwhelming her – her running was slowly tiring her out. She could feel her past catching up on her and she wanted to keep running but the boy infront of her was stopping her. Just one look into his eyes and she was stopped – she wasn't sure what to make of it. "What are you doing in a place like this?"_

"_The music...can't you feel it in your veins? It's...it's intoxicating," he gushed, crouching down before the girl. There was something about her that attracted him and he couldn't turn away. He was drawn to her just as he was drawn to the beat of the music._

"_It's not the only thing," she murmured, running her hands through her hair. She needed to leave...she needed to create some space between her and the boy. He was allowing the past to catch up with her and she wanted to just turn and run away. She couldn't face the past – not yet. Her family wasn't ready and neither was she. _

"_What's the matter?" he questioned, dipping his head to catch her gaze. He could see the emotions flittering across his eyes and he was astounded – he didn't know one person could feel that amount of emotions. He knew he was a stranger and he knew she could just stand and turn away. He didn't want her too – she was the one thing that was keeping him there tonight. The routine of partying got boring after awhile and he constantly looked for different entertainment within his life. _

"_What's your name?" she retorted, flicking her gaze away from his. She didn't want him reading her eyes – she knew they displayed everything she felt; she had been told that enough times. She was learning to control that – Lucien was teaching her how to shield herself._

"_Ryan...Ryan Sheckler – yours?" he asked, taking a seat on the ground. He was having more fun talking to the girl before him than he was inside the club. He had seen her there several times before but, he had never seen her this vulnerable – she always seemed in control. _

"_Lillian...Lilly Truscott," she nodded, biting her lip in nervousness. She remembered that giving away her name was powerful information – they could use it against her. Her family had told her never to say her last name in full; many used the knowledge to benefit themselves. It had become second nature to hide the fact that she was the daughter of the most influential couple in LA. _

"_Why are you here?" he asked, curious to know more about the girl. He noted one of her nervous habits in his head already – he wanted to continue to see her. He had a feeling as if he should know all about her; you couldn't get into the club if you were an unknown. Everyone in there had some claim to fame – it was slightly amusing the amount times he had been told of peoples visits to movie-sets._

"_It's intoxicating," she murmured, gazing up at the boy. She could see the honesty in his gaze and she sent a small smile his way. She had hardly made any friends in LA – her moving the Malibu a bonus in her books. She knew that he wouldn't leave her alone for the rest of the night – it was clear in his eyes. He wanted to get to know her...all of her._

"_You shouldn't be here..." he whispered, grazing her cheek with his hand. He wasn't sure if he should touch her but his hands were just itching to do the action – he couldn't deny them. Her skin was smooth and he smiled as she didn't flinch at the touch. She wasn't too far gone to not be able to register what was going but he knew she was gone enough to numb the pain. The majority in the club were there just to numb the pain. _

"_Neither should you," she retorted, staring indignantly at the boy. She hated to be talked down too or be told where to go. She didn't really understand where he was coming from – he knew nothing of her life. He didn't know what she had to deal with in life and she didn't want him to make judgements. She was only looking for a friend._

"_Come with me," he smiled, tilting his head to the side. He was indicating to the side-walk – he wanted her to walk with him. He wasn't going to do anything; he knew he had to back within an hour to gather his friends. He just wanted the girl to sober up and hopefully he'd get to know her alittle more. _

"_Why should I?" she queried, raising an eyebrow in question. She didn't know if she could trust the boy before her but, she could feel his presence under her skin. He was already affecting her and she had only been with him for a few minutes. If she continued to act on __impulse she knew she wouldn't be able to get rid of him – she cling tightly until he asked her to let go. She wasn't sure if she'd be able too._

"_Trust me," he winked, grabbing her hand and pulling her up. He helped her as she stumbled slightly and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. He didn't want her tripping along the sidewalk to gain attention – he just wanted to spend alittle time with the mystery girl. He was willing to give her space if she asked for it but he only smiled shyly as she snuggled closer to his warmth – the cold air slithering under the hem of dress._

"What are you doing?" she asked, looking towards the boy. They had just gotten back from the club and she was still pumping from the beat of the music. She had enjoyed the time out from her life and she loved that Joe had enjoyed the place aswell. He had helped her steer clear of Lucien and all his temptations.

"Do you remember the first time we met?" he asked, turning to face the girl. They were on the balcony of the suite and he was just breathing in the night air. The club had a deeper affect on him than he realised and he was just reeling from the memories.

"Yes...you saved me," she murmured, wrapping her arms around his waist. She knew what he needed – they always knew what the other needed. They could just read each other and she liked that between them. They were so in-synch that it was slightly scary; she knew that Joe was having a slight fear of adjusting to that.

"I'd do it again," he responded, wrapping an arm tightly around her shoulders. He pulled her against him – revelling in her nearness. It was the most time they had gotten to spend together and he had to admit that he missed her. He knew she had to make time for the brothers' but, he also needed some of her attention.

"Thankyou...I don't think I've said that to you before," she whispered, smiling up at the boy. She was grateful to have him back in her life and she didn't want to let him go just yet. She enjoyed being in his arms and she loved the security he portrayed. She was always safe when he was around.

"You don't need t-"

"Lilly? You there?" a voice called, interrupting their talk. Ryan looked down at the girl and nudged her forward. He didn't want to take her away from love – it wasn't in him to deny it.

"Go...we'll talk later," he smiled, pushing her towards the door. He knew she wanted to go – he could see it in her eyes. He would leave the couple to sort out what they need to sort out; he knew they were in for a serious discussion. Joe's eyes said it all.

* * *

**_Hope you'll like it...? The conversation with Joe will be in the next chapter aswell as maybe another flashback? Or an explanation lol dunno yet...continue to read and reveiw please! :) _**

**_Thanks!_**

**_Luv ya lots_**

**_xox :)_**


	9. It'll Be Forever

**_Hey guuys_**

**_Here's another chappie and I hope you guys all like it!! It'll be cool if you all continue to review and support my story!!_**

**_Luv ya!_**

Her eyes darted back and forth – dodging his searching gaze. She didn't want to look at him; she didn't want to see what he thought. She had already felt the rejection from the few people that close enough to know her past. He hadn't seen all the faults; he hadn't heard the stories – but, she knew he had seen enough to just catch a glimpse. She wasn't sure how she felt about that.

"So..." Joe started, tilting his head slightly to the side. He was curious as to why she wasn't looking at him – she never avoided his gaze. He knew she was scared of the conversation they were about to have and he knew it was going to be a serious one.

"So..." she hummed, rocking back and forth on her heels. She wasn't going to start the conversation – if he wanted her to explain, he'd have to ask. There was no way she would start a conversation about a part of her life she wanted to forget.

"That was a...different place," he said, stepping alittle bit closer to here. He didn't want her to be nervous or afraid whenever it came to him – he didn't want her to feel that way. He wanted her to feel as if she could tell him anything; she shouldn't be afraid to show him who she was.

"That used to be my life," she shrugged, diverting her gaze. She didn't want him to get too close to her – she'd lose it all if he did. They were still getting to know each other and she had just unveiled a large part of her past that not many knew; she wasn't sure why she had done that.

"That club...who _were_ you?" he asked, dropping his hands from their out-stretched position. He knew she would tell him – they hadn't kept any secrets as of yet. Their 'relationship' was still new and different; they were still 'feeling out' what the other felt. He was just itching to touch her; he wanted to let her know that he wasn't going to judge her. Obviously, she had moved past that part of her life and he admired her for it.

"I...you...you have no idea what my life was like...It wasn't all fairytales and unicorns Joe...My family...you wouldn't understand," she sighed, walking past the boy and slumping onto the bed. She wasn't ready for the conversation – she didn't want to reveal too much. She just didn't want him to know all about her yet; she was ready.

"Try me," he pushed, sitting next to the girl. He didn't want her to feel uncomfortable and he could see she was nervous by her fidgeting. She also wouldn't look him in the eye – which worried him the most. She was always one to stand eye to eye with him; she didn't even back down when he walked in on her 'dissing' his band.

"It was my escape...life had gotten too hectic...people expected too much...I just...it was easier to run away than to face it all," she whispered, gazing at their entwined hands. She wasn't sure when that had happened but she was thankful for it – he was giving her support even when he didn't know it. Just him being there was making it easier for her. She was beginning to development an expectation of him always being there.

"You don't...you don't have to face it all alone Lilly," he mumbled, dipping his head to meet her gaze. He wanted her to know that he was there for her. He wouldn't turn away when she was telling him something important and he wouldn't give up on her. Not yet. He was too involved with her.

"Thankyou..." she hummed, leaning her forehead against his own. She loved how she could touch him whenever she wanted and right now, she was leaning on him – not only physically but emotionally as well. It was hard going back to where she used to spend every night. Her energy didn't appear to be the same.

"Anything for you," he murmured, capturing her lips tenderly. Tenderly, one hand stroked her cheek and the other ran along her side – encircling her waist. He pulled her roughly against him; aching to feel her alittle bit closer. He couldn't stand not touching her - she was his addiction.

She gasped as he pulled her against him, opening her eyes widely. She wasn't expecting the sudden movement – her arms wrapped tightly around his neck. She realized the intimate position but the innocence of the kiss. It wasn't full of passion but of a trust instead. They were going to see where they were lead and, if along the way they fell inlove, then they would accept it as the time came.

"I...I better go," he breathed, resting his forehead against hers. He pulled her flush against him – her legs straddling either side. He needed her close; his fear of losing her rising again. He had seen the affects of alcohol on people and he wasn't sure what would happen to Lilly. He didn't want to lose her to her old life.

"Stay?" she questioned, biting her bottom lip nervously. She didn't want him to leave yet – she was afraid he'd second-guess his decision. She needed him to be there when she woke up; she didn't want him in another place.

"Lilly..." he sighed, turning his gaze away. He wasn't sure if he could control himself if he stayed – the passion was still thick in the air. He could feel it sinking into his skin. He knew she needed him there; he could see it all in her eyes. He loved her eyes.

"Please...just...atleast until I fall asleep?" she pleaded, blushing as she realised she was begging. She never begged for anything in her life and here she was, infront of a boy she had only known for two days and begging him to stay with her – just so she felt safe. She wasn't quite sure if it was him that was making her act crazy or the fact that he was so close to her.

"Okay..." he murmured, pulling her against his chest as he lay down. He wasn't sure why she needed him with her at the moment but he knew that he would be told – sooner or later. He could feel the need brimming beneath her skin and he easily gave in to it. He couldn't deny her anything.

"Thankyou," she whispered, turning herself around and wrapping her arms around his waist. She wasn't willing to let him go – not yet anyway. They had just found each other and she wanted to see where it led to. She didn't want to lose herself to the past.

* * *

'_So take a bow, 'cause you're taking everything else...you played the part...'_

"Hello?" she asked, grasping her phone quickly. Her eyes were blurry and she felt a weight across her waist. Looking behind her, she smiled at the image of Joe. He had stayed the night – he didn't leave.

'_Am I just completely forgotten?!'_

"Miley?" she breathed, continuing to stare at Joe. He was peacefully lying next to her, his arm still gripping her waist tightly. She blushed as she shifted closer to her – burying his face into her neck. She stifled a giggle as his hair tickled her face; gently, she extended a hand to stroke through his hair. Praying Miley quietened down so he could continue to sleep.

'_Yes it's Miley! You know, the girl who was coming home today and you were supposed to meet me at my hou-'_

"Wait, wait, wait...you said you were still touring for a week...you never said you were coming home early..." she muttered, furrowing her brows. She wasn't sure what to make of Mileys' sudden appearance. She didn't know if she wanted to share the Jonas Brothers with her friend – atleast, not yet. Her hand tangled tighter into Joes' hair, her nervousness getting the better of her.

'_I didn't...I thought I did...are you sure? Didn't I mention it last time I called?'_

"No Miley...you forgot..." she murmured, her gaze trailing over the room. She was trying to keep herself pre-occupied; trying to concentrate on the girl on the phone rather than the boy behind her. He was wreaking havoc on her nerves just lying close to her and she could feel the passion rising within her.

'_Oh...I'm sorry...I just thought...are you not happy I'm back?'_

"Miles...you know it's not that...it's just everything seems to be happening all at once," she sighed, dropping her hand from Joes' hair. She could hear the sadness in her friends' voice and immediately, guilt flowed through her. She didn't want Miley to take the brunt of her confusion – she didn't like having the girl feeling left out.

'_Right...with the JoBros and everything...you okay wi-'_

"Lilly?" Joe questioned, squinting his eyes towards the girl as he lifted his head from the crook of her neck. He could hear her voice through his sleep-filled haze and feel her body against him. He couldn't deny that he enjoyed waking up next to her – it gave them a sense of closeness. He still was unsure where they stood with each other but he knew that the girl had his heart. He just wondered if he could have hers in return.

'_Lillian Truscott!! That better not be one of those boys' now!! You kno-'_

"Who's that?" His eyes wide as he watched her wince at the voice. He could still hear the tirade echo throughout the room and he struggled to comprehend what was actually happening. His eyes searched her – wanting to figure out what was between them. He didn't want interruptions this time. They needed to figure it all out or else he'd lose his mind. He hated not knowing where he stood with people.

"Miley..." Lilly snapped, biting her lip as he raised an eyebrow in question. He had a guess as to who Lilly was talking too. He remembered an inkling of an idea about the girl – her best-friend. He knew that she didn't know what was happening between them – they didn't even know. By her reaction, she wasn't expecting them to be so close so soon.

'_You've gotta go? Ring me later Lillian...'_

"I'm sorry..." he pouted, watching as she gazed at her phone sorrowfully. He wasn't sure what to make of the situation – he had never woken up in bed with a girl before. It was all new territory for him; he enjoyed it. Lilly was pushing his boundaries and he was finding it fun to do.

"It's not...you're not at fault here Joe," she smiled slightly, stroking his cheek lightly. She didn't want him to apologise for something he had no control over. Miley was just overacting again; her friend had a tendency to do that. She knew it was a shock but, Joe had heard all of what she had said.

"She sounded angry," he pursued, nudging her palm with his cheek. He wanted her to trust him and the only way to do that was for her to let her in. He wanted to know all about her and he was willing to wait for her. He just needed her to let him in.

"It's nothing...she's just overacting again...it's okay...really," she blushed, turning away from his searching gaze. She knew she should leave and go see Miley – she had missed her throughout the girls' tour. She just couldn't move herself; he was too enticing to move away from. She wasn't sure what was happening between them but they had all day to figure it out.

"I like waking up with you..." he whispered, entwining one hand with hers and stroking her cheek with the other. Their gazes locked and he smiled at the truth in her eyes. She was enthralled by him and affected just as greatly as he was by her presence. He had a feeling that they would be great – if only they could get through the beginning of it.

"You've known me for less than a week..." she mumbled, dropping her gaze. She wasn't used to everything moving so fast. Her emotions rarely took control and she was allowing them to at the moment. She knew he could see the lust hidden within her gaze and she blushed at the thought. He was 'pure' – he had a reputation to uphold and she knew he believed in the philosophy. She admired him for that; he was willing to stand up for his beliefs.

"It only took a moment..." he murmured, leaning towards her. She was everywhere around him and he was intoxicated by her. She was pulling him in and he didn't want to resist. He was falling even more in love with her and she didn't even know it at all. He wasn't sure just how long he'd be able to go without her in his arms when he was away from her.

"Joe...you c-" her sentence was cut short as his lips descended upon hers. It was all innocence and promise. The passion between them was kept well in-check because she could feel the indecision in the air. She didn't want to push him and he didn't want to push her. He only knew a glimpse of her past – there was still more to become known.

"I'll never get used to being able to do that," he smiled, leaning his forehead against hers. He could still feel her lips beneath his and he shivered slightly at the feeling. She was under his skin – sinking into his heart. He couldn't stop himself from touching her – he didn't want too. He wasn't afraid of physical attraction but he knew he had to be careful. He knew what it was like to get carried away.

Leaning forward, she captured his lips in a searing kiss. Her lips moved over his hungrily, as if at any moment he would fade away – this was the only way she knew how to say thanks. She couldn't use words; physical was what she understood.

He was overwhelmed but, this was Lilly and she was kissing him – he wasn't going to give her an excuse to stop. He pushed his fears away and tightened his hold against her. Flushing her body with his.

She surged forward, burying her hands in his hair, arching into him and kissing him more insistently. The reaction was immediate: his eager hands spanned her back, arms, thighs, hips – anywhere he could touch.

The way she tasted, sweet and rich, was intoxicating. Her scent – it drove him crazy. Everything about the girl was perfect. And he wanted it all, wanted to touch every inch of her, imprint himself on her skin, make it so no one could have her but him.

Her hands moved eagerly over his chest, and as incredible he looked, she couldn't deny the frustration she felt at his t-shirt. She couldn't feel anything through the thick material. Entwining their hands, he was able to stop the exploration while tilting her head to kiss her even deeper. He caressed her through the thin material of her t-shirt and grinned as she moaned into the kiss.

Breathing heavily, he pulled back slightly – aware how much control he was actually losing. He wasn't sure how much longer he could keep himself in check if the girl continued to kiss him that way.

"Sorry..." she blushed, gasping for breath. She was ashamed she had let her emotions reign. She could feel his control waning and she didn't want to push him into anything he wasn't ready for. She knew he was unsure of their relationship – just as she was. Before anything else happened, they'd have to sort that out.

"Don't...don't apologise," he smiled, placing a quick kiss on her lips. He didn't want her to apologise for something they obviously wanted – no one should apologise for going after what they want. He couldn't fault her for it.

"I think we should probably move..." she observed, looking towards their position. Her legs had wrapped themselves tightly around his waist, their arms entwined and their bodies flushed. She didn't want Ryan to see them this way – she wasn't quite sure what his reaction would be. She knew they were long over but, she still felt the love between them. She needed to figure that out before she went along with anything that happened with Joe.

"I like you here," he pouted, jutting out his bottom lip slightly. His eyes widened innocently as she shot him a playful glare. He couldn't help that he was comfortable with her in his arms – he wanted her there forever. He was willing to let her had his heart; willing to extend his hand – he just hoped she'd take it.

"Suck it up..." she grinned, patting his cheek before climbing off of him. She didn't want to be found with Joe just yet – she wasn't willing to admit it to everyone. She knew she couldn't deny it all for much longer; it wasn't in her. But, she needed to talk it over with Ryan first; she didn't want to spring it on everyone.

"What are we doing today?" he asked, tilting his head to the side as he studied her movements. She appeared to be apprehensive and he was unsure as to why. He didn't want to hide what he felt for her but, he also hadn't told her what he felt. Their kisses were passionate but too infrequent for him. He wanted to be able to hold her in his arms without curious glances from everyone.

"Well...I have to see Miley...obviously she's alittle upset..." she sighed, running a tired hand through her hair. She knew he wanted to go with her, he could see it as he sat up straight in the bed. A bed they had shared together – she smiled at the thought. He never left her side at all last night.

"You want me to come with?" he questioned, sliding off of the bed. He knew she was nervous about 'them' as a pair but he would take it slow. He would allow her to make the moves and he would just wait. He was willing to wait forever if she made him.

* * *

_So...here's alittle Loe fluff lol - i couldn't really think of anything else to put in the chapter...? any ideas??_


	10. Under My Skin

* * *

Hey,

I know the chapters are coming out alot slower than it first started but, exams have just started and several classes are expecting alot at the moment lols, but, I hope you guys like the **Loeness** and also **Ryan x Lilly-ness**. Hopefully it explains just what their relationship was towards each other...??

Anyway...please continue to read and review - I love to hear what everyone has to say about it!!

Thanks guys!

"_You know..this...us...it doesn't take it away," he observed, roughly getting out of the bed. He had promised himself that he'd never do it again – it was wrong. The reasons behind it all were wrong. Sex wasn't sex to him; it was about a bond between two people. He was just her escape and he couldn't take that anymore. _

"_I never asked for your opinion on the matter," she snapped, pulling the covers tighter around her. She could feel the cold seeping into her sweat-soaked skin and she shivered – she hated the cold. She had felt too much of it to like it and Ryan was helping her keep warm. She couldn't deny her wants. _

"_You're fucking unbelievable you know that? You just don't seem to care at all..." he seethed, pulling at his hair violently. He loved her – he was in love with her and she didn't seem to care at all. She was so numb towards him and it was driving him crazy. He had to walk away from it before she brought him down along with her. _

"_What do you want me to say?! You were a great fuck Rye?! You want me to get on my knees and beg you to stay?! You want me to say please? Thankyou?! Want me to tell you my whole life s-"_

"_You could tell me something rather than just shutting off! You do it every time!" he shouted, stepping towards the bed. His emotions were on high, but he knew the conversation was going to come sooner or later. He couldn't stand to be continuously used and she was doing that to him – whether for her own sick enjoyment or to heal her pain. _

"_We're not friends," she growled, glaring at the boy. She hated when people assumed anything about her. She tried the 'let's share feelings' with someone and they just went and broke her. She was still picking up the pieces of her family and heart – she wasn't sure if she could let another in. Too many people had disappointed her. _

"_Yes we are...you call me when you feel the itch and I come running. I'm always going to be here Sparky...whether you like it or not," he retorted, standing his ground. He didn't want her to slip through his fingers – he was too attached to her. She had sunken into his skin and melted into his heart. He would stay for as long as he thought needed._

"_You came in knowing what was going on...You shouldn't have expected anything," she said, turning away from his gaze. She knew he was searching for something within her – an inkling of feeling. She didn't want to give it; she didn't want him to hold that power. She wasn't sure what would happen if she said what she felt – it scared her what she felt for the boy before her. It was stronger that anything she had ever felt before and she wasn't sure what to make of it. _

"_People expect things from others everyday...it's human nature," he intoned, pacing back and forth. He had to make her understand what he was trying to do. He didn't want her to say that she loved him – only that she would care if he walked away. If she would care if he left, just like everyone else seemed too. _

"_Then walk away," she stated, standing before him. The sheet was wrapped tightly around her – her own hands holding it up. She knew what she was doing was wrong but it made it all the more better. She was addicted to feeling him against her and she didn't want it to stop. When he touched her, the pain went away._

"_For some reason...I just can't," he said helplessly, slumping onto the couch. She had him crippled and helpless and he hated feeling that. No one had made him feel like that before and he was both liking it and hating it. She was different and he wanted to keep her with him._

"_You shouldn't have gotten attached," she voiced, stroking his cheek gently. It was the first show of affection she had given him without wanting something else. She didn't want him to feel hurt by her nature but, she was still healing. It was something she needed to work on before she could trust anyone else – Ryan included._

"_You've gotten under my skin," he grinned, mirroring her actions. He knew she wasn't an emotional person but, he was finally getting something. He could tell she was working on letting him and that was enough for him. He knew it was hard for her to let people in – he wasn't sure why...it was just intoned into her system. He'd have to work for her trust and love. _

* * *

"Where's your attachment?" he mocked, looking towards the girl. She had just exited the shower and he knew that Joe had spent the night. He trusted Lilly to not make the same mistakes she used too and he was willing to bet that Joe was a good influence. The boy was as pure as they come – he could just tell in his interactions with the boy.

"He's having a shower," she glared playfully, hitting him lightly on the shoulder. She was glad they were back on friendly terms – she had missed him. He was the first person she let in and although he had turned away; he came back. No one had come back for her before and she was willing to give him a second chance. It was the least she could do for allowing her to feel again.

"Strikes me that you're not in there with him," he laughed, nudging the blushing girl. He was always able to make her blush but, he was just observing most of the time. When they had a 'sexual' relationship – they barely let the other out of each others' sight. Their bodies just wouldn't allow it – they were always on high around each other.

"People change...I've changed," she mumbled, hiding her blushing face. She couldn't help but cringe at her past actions – she couldn't believe she was ever that heartless. At first, she was just using him to make her feel again but, it turned into something else. It turned into a relationship and lastly, love. She had been inlove with him and she couldn't believe that. She pushed him away in hopes of protecting her heart.

"You have Sparky...you really have," he murmured, embracing the small girl. He had seen the changes when he had first arrived – her complete demeanour had changed. He knew she wasn't as heartless as she once was but, he wasn't aware that she had changed that much. She still had her habits but, she wasn't in pain anymore. She had healed.

"I'm sorry..." she whispered, wrapping her own arms around his waist – burying her head into his chest. She needed him to understand just what she was sorry for. She didn't mean for him to be her outlet – not when they first met. He was her escape and she noticed that he was more than willing to allow her to have him. She knew he never expected it to get that far.

"For what?" he questioned, pulling away slightly. His hand tucked a stray hair behind her ear and he smiled softly at her. She shouldn't be apologising to him – he was the one that walked away. His gaze settled just above her shoulder where he could see Joe getting out of the shower. The boys' settled on the two of them in question and he could see the jealousy rising beneath his gaze.

"For not meeting you when I was ready...for using you...for...for everything," she rushed, leaning further into his embrace. She was just sorry for everything she had done to him. She wished that he had come along at a different time in her life – she had wanted to give _them_ a chance. Now was not the time; her heart was beating for another at the moment.

"Don't apologise for that Sparkz...we never would've met otherwise," he smiled, tightening his grip. He would deal with Joe's jealousy later – the boy was tense and curious. He knew that they would have to tell the background to their relationship to the brothers but he liked the secret between them for now.

"You're too good Ryan," she gushed, pulling away from him. Stepping back, she smiled at the boy before her. She was glad to have him back in her life and she wanted to keep him there. She knew it would be difficult – she wasn't good at long-distance things at all but, she'd work on that. She needed to keep in touch with Joe aswell.

"Shouldn't you be with a certain Jonas Brother?" he smirked, pushing her back alittle. He had seen the boy sulk back into her room and he knew that he'd soon know their 'dirty' past. He wasn't sure if Joe would look at him the same or if Lilly would trust the boy again if his reaction was bad.

"I'm going...I'm going," she grumbled, glaring playfully over her shoulder. She could feel Joes' eyes on them and she knew that she'd have to explain their past or else she wasn't sure if Joe would stick around.

* * *

"So...what are you doing today?" she questioned, watching as the boy threw on a t-shirt. His movements were stiff – she had never seen him like this. He was pulling away from her and she wasn't sure she liked it at all.

"Dunno," he shrugged, walking tirelessly around the room. His gaze never settled and his movements never wavered. He couldn't look at her – he couldn't breathe at the moment. She was keeping things from him and he wasn't sure what to make of it.

"Joe...Joe...Joe! Would you stop!" Stamping her foot indignantly. She couldn't focus when he was moving constantly – it was starting to hurt. They weren't even together and they were still fighting. She had only known the boy for a couple of days and he already had such an effect on her.

"What Lilly? What?! How close are the two of you anyway?! You looked pretty cosy in there," he shouted, stopping his pacing and turning to face her. His gaze was hazed with emotion and he couldn't stand straight. The girl was breaking his heart and she didn't even know it. She was keeping things from him and he wasn't sure if he wanted to know – their closeness running through his mind.

"We're friends Joe...just friends," she sighed, tiredly running a hand through her hair. She could feel the emotions in the air and it was making her dizzy. She couldn't believe he was jealous of Ryan – they were long over. Neither of them felt that way anymore but she could see how it was mistaken. They were still close, physically, with each other; either a touch or a glance was enough to know what the other wanted.

"How can I know for sure Lils...you're a mystery," he whispered, stroking her cheek gently. His eyes widened in surprise as she smiled brilliantly at him – appreciation shining within her gaze. He wasn't aware of his ease of posture when she was near him – only the fact that she was standing before him. He couldn't let her go just yet.

"Maybe...maybe you shouldn't be so attached Joe – if you don't know me...then you won't get hurt," she mumbled, stepping away from his touch. She winced at the disappointment in his gaze and turned her gaze away. She wasn't willing to put another through the amount of pain she had been subjected too if she could help it. She didn't know if she could give the boy what he wanted – she knew he wanted her heart...her love. She just didn't know if she was capable of letting him.

"It'll hurt me even more if you're not in my life Lillian," he retorted, dropping his gaze to his feet. He hadn't been so outright with his feelings before this but he was unsure of what else to do. He had a feeling she was slipping away from him and he didn't want her too. She was right – he was really attached to her. He knew he shouldn't be and that he was moving too fast but, he couldn't control himself.

"You...you know nothing about me..." she breathed, inching closer to the wall behind her. She needed to take a step back from the emotion. It was slowly leaving her breathless and she couldn't control it at all. She was falling fast for the boy infront of her and she didn't want too. She had just returned to her 'normal' self and she didn't want to spiral out of control again. If he left her – she'd fall again. She didn't know if she could trust him with her heart.

"I know you bite your lip when you're nervous...I know that you say you hate your family but you couldn't live without them...I know you love your friends as your family...I know your past is dark but you're trying to live past it...I know you're quite attached to Ryan...I know your eyes change colour with every emotion you show...I know enough Lilly...I know enough for you to atleast give me a chance..." he whispered, stepping close to her. The distance between them lessened and he could see the fear in her eyes. He didn't want to push her but he needed her to understand. All he wanted was a chance to let her know how he felt. Just one and he knew she'd never leave his sight.

"Joe..." Dropping her gaze, she bit her lip as he moulded his body to hers. His breath tingled her neck as his eyes trailed over her. She could feel the indecision in the air and she knew it would fade within the moment. She was attracted to him and she was never one to deny her feelings. Maybe she could give him a change. Maybe he could help her heal again. Ryan had left her in a shattered state – helping to heal the pieces of her broken family but leaving a mess in return.

"All I want is a chance..." he murmured, titling his head closer. His concentration wavering between his words and her lips. All he could see was her eyes – capturing his soul in their penetrating hazel. He shivers as her hand slowly traces up the front of his shirt and he tears his eyes away from hers, only to be transfixed by her lips.

His hand finds its own path to the top of her hips, brushing against the warm exposed skin and with a gentle nudge – bringing her body even closer to his. A surprised breath crosses her lips, and she bites her bottom lip while a smile is playing in the corners of her mouth.

He can feel her breath over his lips and his heart sped up in anticipation. She looked up at him expectantly, the tip of her tongue moving across her half-open lips – leaving them glistening. His heart pounded desperately in his ears; he slightly wondered if she could hear it. Their lips are so close together that their breathing the same air and her eyes have drifted close. A tingle moves through their lips at the barest touch and they release a sharp intake of breath. Her eyes are closed and he takes a second to look her over with his eyes.

By their own force, my fingertips gently are placed gently against her cheekbones – slowly feathering across her cheeks. His breathing is strained and hers is shallow. Burying his hands in her blonde hair – he captures her upper lip between his own two. Her hand moves up his chest and circles around his neck, pulling his head closer to her responding lips.

She tastes like strawberries and something uniquely her, something he just can't get enough of. He moans in disappointment as she pulls away slightly.

"Just a chance?"

The words are spoken quietly between them – lips remaining in close contact with each other. She runs her tongue across his lips and smiles slightly as his hand pulls her even closer to him.

"A chance is all I want..." he murmurs, directing her lips towards his. He feels her hands drop from his neck and run down the front of his chest – inching slightly up underneath his shirt. His lips falter at the shock of her small hands feathering across his chest.

She pulls away slightly, panting heavily. His eyes were dilated and she could feel his heaving chest. She could see the lust in his eyes but she could also see something else. She knew he felt the emotion in the air just as she did – it couldn't be helped. His eyes were so truthful and she understood him...finally. He may be moving fast but he had learnt that things in the world were often fickle and he needed to hang on tightly to them. He often leapt before looking and that was what got him where he was.

"You've gotten under my skin Joseph...I don't think I could let you go if I tried," she smiled bashfully; running a hand through is unruly hair. She revelled in his close proximity and sighed as he stepped back alittle. He was close enough so she could feel his body close to hers but far enough away to resist the temptation.

* * *

Like? Hate? Please review!! lols


	11. Introducing Miley

"Well, well, well...if it isn't Miss Lillian back from planet Jonai," she smirked, opening the door wider for the blonde girl. She knew that there was alot she had missed out on during her tour but, she couldn't blame the girl infront of her. It was a journey that she obviously had to take alone or else it would never have happened. She knew the boys were still in town until the end of next week and she knew that Lilly would introduce them. She'd do it in her own time – you couldn't push the girl into anything.

"Ha ha Miles...you know that's not the case," she blushed, brushing past her friend. She silently thanked whoever for her best-friend not to be mad at her. She needed a shoulder at the moment and she had hoped Miley would offer. Everything was moving fast and she needed it to slow down. She was afraid she'd be thrown off course soon.

"Right...so you left your best-friend hanging because of nothing? Mhmm...I think details are in order," she stated, raising a curious brow at her friend. It wasn't the first time secrets were kept among them. She knew how hard it was for Lilly to release her secret about Ryan but, she also knew that the girl was hiding a few other things aswell. It wasn't everyday Lilly opened up.

"Joe and I...well...we're giving it a go..." she mumbled, slumping onto the couch. She winced slightly as Miley let out a squeal and jumped next to her. She wondered slightly why she wasn't as excited but, she was in too much of a daze. She needed to get away from everything because it was all becoming too much. Things were getting out of control again.

"You're not excited...why?" she questioned, crossing her arms before her. She was worried about Lilly – she had only been so...dazed when she had told her of her past. It was obvious that Lilly was happy, but, she knew how the girl got. When she felt things were getting out of control, she delved deeper into herself. Looking for something – waiting for the world to stop spinning.

"I am...I am excited Miles...I...I really like him...I just...everything is moving so fast – should it be this fast?" she asked helpless, staring at her hands before gazing helpless at her friend. She didn't mean to dump it all on the girl – she was supposed to be excited. Joseph Jonas had asked her to give him a chance; he had chosen her. Out of everyone in the world, the boy of many girls' dreams had chosen her. She should be ecstatic.

"It only takes a second to realise you've fallen for someone Lils...you know aswell as I do that you can't control the heart," she whispered, casting a worried glance at her friend. She wasn't aware that the girl was feeling so out of control – she'd have to talk with Ryan. They didn't want Lilly falling back into her old life and she was sure that Lilly didn't want that to happen. She understood the girls' dilemma; nothing had ever gone 'good' for her since she had moved to Malibu. She couldn't believe that Joe would fall for her.

"I'm just scared Miles...I don't want to break again," she murmured, bringing her knees to her chin. She knew she was being self-conscious but, she didn't want to feel the pain again. Ryan had healed her broken past but left her in pieces when he walked out. Joe...if she let him completely in – she knew she'd fall helplessly for him. She could feel that she already had; she just needed to be sure.

"Aw sweetie...their good boys Lils...you just need to trust them," she smiled sadly, pulling the small girl into her arms. She had never seen Lilly so open with her feelings before now – the girl was always protecting her heart. She wondered if Joe was beginning to get through to the girl; she was actually willing to feel again. She knew that along with the love came the pain but, she knew Joe would stand by Lilly. The Jonas boys always stood by their friends.

"What if...what if I can't?" she whimpered, leaning on her friend. She could feel the shock course through Miley but, she knew that her friend could help her. It wasn't a usual occurrence for her to be so open with her emotions but, she felt as if she needed to let her friend completely in. She knew Miley wouldn't betray her – she wouldn't turn away as others had.

"That's up for you to decide..." she shrugged, aware of the glare that Lilly sent her way. She refused to offer the girl answers on her heart – only Lilly could do that. She'd interfere any other way but, when it came to matters of the heart, Lilly was the only one that could decide. She knew that Lilly would figure it out – the girl always did. She had saved herself from destruction before and she could safe herself from isolation.

"You're no help," she muttered angrily, crossing her arms indignantly. It wasn't that she was angry – she already knew Miley's answer before she had even asked the question. The two knew each other inside and out and she could hear the logic behind it all. It was up for her to decide – and she had to decide fast. She knew Joe wouldn't wait around but she also knew that his feelings for her ran quite deep. She could see it in his eyes everytime he looked at her.

"I think you need to get out of here," Miley grinned, pulling the girl up by her hands. They needed some bonding time and then Lilly could take her to meet her new 'friends.' She could see that Lilly was already missing them, it was in every move the girl made and she just wanted her to be happy. They'd spend the day at the beach or mall and then go back and relax at Ryans' suite.

"Where are you taking me...?" she whined playfully, giggling as her brunette friend lead her towards the limo waiting. She had missed Mileys' outrageous behaviour and was excited to see what was in store for the two of them today. She needed to get her mind off of everything that had been happening.

* * *

"Looks as if it's a boys day today..." Ryan observed, watching as Lilly snuck out the door. He knew she would've kept her outing hidden from Joe or else she would've said something. He took it upon himself to distract Joe from her missing presence and not let the boy feel too down about her whereabouts. He knew she needed to do this alone but he also knew what Joe would be feeling – he had been there before.

"What are you talking about?" Nick asked, waltzing into the suite. Kevin was close behind him and they were looking for Joe. They knew he could either only be in the suite or else downstairs getting breakfast. They had seen the Lilly sneaking down the hall and just took a guess as to where their brother was – he was quite attached to the blonde already. They feared what he'd be like when they began their tour again.

"Lillys' gone out for awhile," Joe answered, shutting the door to her room. She had said she needed to do what she was doing alone and he believed her. He needed her to understand that he wasn't there to judge – just to heal. He didn't want to be a burden to her and he accepted that there were some aspects of her life that he doesn't know about yet.

"Oh...so, what are we gonna do then?" Kevin questioned, sliding onto the kitchen tabletop. He enjoyed having his brothers around him but he could feel Joe's disappointment. They weren't spending long in Malibu and he knew his brother wanted to make the most of it.

"Um...I dunno...I guess we can't really go anywhere public 'cause...obviously...what about just laxin and playing some xbox or something?" Ryan offered, munching on a chip. He didn't really feel like getting mobbed by fans at the moment – he'd prefer to just bond with the boys. He knew that Lilly felt strongly for Joe and he had a feeling that they'd be around for a while. She wouldn't have let them in so far if they weren't going to be.

"I'm up for it...I can kick your ass at guitar hero," Nick smirked, stealing the chips from Ryan. He was already comfortable around the boy and knew they'd get along great. They both held something passionate about them and they were following their dreams. He'd be a perfect addition to their friends.

"Oh...I don't think so...I believe I'm the king at guitar hero," Joe mocked, pushing his little brother into the couch. His smile grew as Kevin let out a grunt of indignation – they all knew he was the better guitar player. He needed to get his mind off of Lilly and back onto normal things – he could sort out his feelings later on. Right now he wanted to enjoy the time with his brothers and Ryan. He wanted to get back to normal slowly.

"Bring it on..." Kevin grinned maniacally, jumping over the back of the arm chair and landing softly on the couch. His brothers could get fairly competitive and he was eager to see how Ryan reacted. He wasn't sure if the skate-boarder could pay the game or not but he was about to find out. No one met the Jonas Brothers and escaped without a fair beating at guitar hero.

* * *

"Miles...don't be too eager 'bout meeting them," Lilly grinned, watching as her friend bounced back and forth. She could feel the anticipation in the air and sighed slightly. She just hoped Ryan had told them all of her secrets.

"I've met them before," Miley stated, crossing her arms. Her excitement was bubbling beneath the surface and she was eager to meet them. They stood in the elevator as it took the long journey up to the hotel suite. She grinned in anticipation.

"Not as Miley," Lilly countered, winking towards her friend. She could see her happiness at meeting the boys in 'real' life but, she needed to calm down alittle. She wasn't sure what the boys' would be like but she knew what Ryan would be like. He'd probably still be asleep or just watching dvds – she wasn't sure what the brothers' would be like. She excited to see Joe again though.

"Oh shut up..." she mumbled, glaring at her friend. Her glare soon turned into a smile as the elevator doors opened and Lilly began the walk towards the suite door. She couldn't wait to see Nick in the flesh – she was eager to see if he was really as sweet as the magazines said. Her time as Hannah wasn't enough for her; she wanted to get the boys as herself. Lilly had the chance and now so did she.

"I will take you down fro-bro!" a voice shouted, followed by a loud thump. The girls looked at each other worriedly before bursting through the closed door. What they saw shocked both of them. Ryan Sheckler was sitting ontop of Nicks' chest, happily playing the xbox as Nick struggled helpless. Joe and Kevin were wrestling roughly on the ground beside them – filling the room with echoed grunts and whimpers of pain. The room had looked as if a tornado had hit – pillows were ruined and feathers were skewered across the room.

"What the hell happened here?!" Lilly screamed, stopping the boys fighting and turning the attention onto the two girls. The boys' eyes widened before looking wildly around the room – wincing at the mess they had caused.

"Lilly?!" Joe and Ryan squeaked, jumping abruptly to their feet. Blushing, they looked at their feet as Nick and Kevin smirked towards the two. It was obvious that the girl had the two boys' wrapped tightly around her finger and they were amused by it all. Usually their hotel rooms were left in such a state and neither of the boys' felt remorse for it.

"Care to explain..." she observed, crossing her arms and glaring at the four boys. She wouldn't let them get off of the hook so easily – she knew it would be up to her to clean it up. She remembered what Ryan was like and he was always such a mess. She hid the laughter beneath her furious stare but she knew Miley was just waiting to crack – just as she was.

"It's called a boys' day Lillian..." Ryan mocked, poking his tongue out at the girl. She could see the laughter behind her gaze and he knew he could push her enough to let it out. The girl behind her was already grinning widely but he wasn't sure if it was because of the boys or because it was funny.

"Oh come on Lilly...it appears they've...bonded," Miley smirked, looking between the four boys. She had felt the comfortable atmosphere within the room and she welcomed the feel of it. The four had become friends and she knew that Lilly was the common goal amongst it all. Despite what her friend believed – many though Lilly was a wonderful addition to their circle of friends.

"Apparently..." she said dryly, watching as a slice of pizza slipped off of the ceiling and landing on Kevins face. Her laughter erupted immediately as they all saw the indignation flash across the elder boys' face. Her shopping bags dropped to the ground as he disgustedly pulled the food off of his face.

"Now you laugh..." he commented, glaring at the five that were laughing at him. He liked that the tension was eased but also curious as to the girl standing behind Lilly. He recognised her from somewhere but he couldn't pin-point it at all. It was unnerving him to say the least.

"Whose that?" Nick questioned, nodding his head in the direction of the brunette behind Lilly. They weren't close as friends but he could see the affect she had on Joe and he welcomed the girl warmly. His brother lit up as the girl walked into the room and he only wished he could find that in a girl.

"This...this is Miley Stewart...my best-friend," she smiled, stepping aside so the room could catch full view of the girl. She noticed the younger Jonas' eyes widen in surprise and she smiled to herself. It would be interesting to see what Miley tells the boys' about her frequent 'holidays' – or if she'd even tell them the truth.

"Sweet nibblets it's the Jonai," she breathed, causing the boys to blush and Lilly to send a playful glare towards her. She couldn't help it – as Hannah Montana she hardly ever got star-struck but as Miley Stewart; the boys' before her were the most sort-after in the world. She could hardly stand as she gazed around the room. Ryan Sheckler just topped the cake with his presence as well.

"Um...I prefer Joe," Joe blushed lightly, extending his hand towards the brunette. He wanted to get along with the girl before him because he could see that she was important to Lilly. He wanted to make a good impression and he hoped he had – minus the little mess of the hotel room.

"I know who you are," she smirked, winking towards the boy. She could see his blush deepen and released a little giggle. She knew he wanted to make a good impression but he really didn't have too – Lilly was what was important. If she found him special enough to open her heart to him, then so could she.

"Right...famous," he mumbled, slumping onto the couch. His blush deepened as he realised his fault and mumbled underneath his breath. His brothers patted him slightly on the shoulder in laughter before turning back towards the two girls.

"Miley, stop teasing him," Lilly admonished, hitting her friends shoulder lightly. She knew what Joe was trying to do and she felt proud of the fact – he wanted to impress her friends for her. It showed he cared and that was all she could ever ask for.

"Little protective are we Lillian?" Ryan asked, slinging his arm around her shoulders and whispering in her air. He felt her face redden and he laughed loudly. Releasing his hold on her, he pushed her towards the pouting Joe – knowing that they'd be happier together than apart.

"You are a dick," she muttered angrily, glaring at the boy. She slumped onto the couch next to Joe and grabbed his hand in hers. She smiled as their tension seemed to ease and just gazed up at the others in the room. She knew that Miley would be accepted among the group because they were already accepting her.

"Ease up on the boy Lilly...it's only alittle fun," Nick grinned, ruffling the girls blonde hair. He was more at ease with her now and he had noticed the attachment Joe had. Just holding her hand and his brother was set at ease – it was hard not to like the girl. She pulled Joe out of his emotional turmoil and set him at ease.

"You know...we should all do something tonight," Kevin interrupted, looking around the group. He had seen the subtle looks shared between occupants in the room and he was willing to expand on those ideas. He just wanted everyone to get along and have a good time before they were set to go back on tour. He wanted his brothers to remember their time in Malibu gladly.

"Like what?" Ryan asked, jumping onto the arm-chair beside the couch. He looked expectantly at the eldest Jonas and watched as Nick led Miley to a seat beside him – he grinned at the younger boy. Nick wasn't usually such an 'open' guy infront of a new person but, he was learning quite quickly that good things can happen in an instant. Joe was showing him the way.

* * *

Please read and review, it helps to keep the story going... lols


	12. Fall Back

"So...teams?" Kevin asked, eyeing the group before them. He could see the nervousness in the Mileys' eyes but Lilly seemed to be all for their little adventure. The girl really was perfect for Joe – he'd need someone addicted to adrenaline just as he was.

"I call Lilly!" Ryan shouted, quickly pulling the girl to his side. He ignored Joe's glare and focused on the girl beside him. He knew she was good at the game – they'd always played it when they were together. They were both addicted to the rush it caused.

"Jonas vs. Bonas?" Miley questioned, looking between the five people. The group was already slightly divided when they entered – the only unsure one's appeared to be Ryan and Joe. It seemed as if they were fighting over Lillys' affections but she could see that Ryan was only playing around. He wanted to see how far he could push Joe before he actually physically did something about it.

"I don't know..." Joe murmured, eyes lingering on Lilly. His jealousy flared as he saw Ryan tighten his grip but he pushed it down – they were just friends. He didn't want her to get hurt by either of his brothers' because they were quite competitive. If she was on his team he could protect her.

"We will slaughter you," Nick grinned, winking towards all three of them. He knew Joe would be cautious but he could see the eagerness in Lillys' eyes – if Joe would go easy, Lilly wouldn't. He pulled the mask down and reached for his automatic gun; loading the machine up with paint balls. He nodded his head at both of his brothers and waited patiently for the bell to ring.

"Bring it baby," Lilly winked, pulling her mask down and walking away from the group. She'd show the boys' just how much she loved to play sports and show just how good she was. She wasn't afraid to get hurt – she'd played the game before. She loved paintball and she couldn't wait for the bell to ring. She'd bring the Jonas' down.

"It is on!" Kevin shouted, pulling both of his brothers away from the remaining two. He was excited – it was rare that they had time to actually have fun and meet people to have fun with. He was excited and he knew his brothers would get into it after awhile; the competitive gene was in their blood.

* * *

"This is a disaster..." he muttered, watching as the brunette quickly was taken out of the game. He knew she wouldn't last long but, he hated to lose and he knew Lilly hated it even more. The girl was fiercely competitive when it was a challenging game.

"She'll be fine...I'd say they'll go after me next," Lilly hummed, smiling sadly as Miley limped off of the field. She didn't really have to leave but she knew her friend didn't do well with physical pain – she was alittle weak in that area. That was the difference between the two of them; she loved to play sports and excelled in that area, whereas Miley excelled in others.

"Your plan?" he asked, eyeing the girl. He knew she had something up her sleeve, she didn't lose well. His eyes grew wide as her grin turned evil and her eyes narrowed. She definantly meant business and he was just thankful she was his team – he'd hate to be the Jonas' at the moment. Lilly was on a mission and she never stopped until they were succeeded.

"Remember back in the day when we'd play hide and seek?" she questioned, turning towards the boy. She had noticed movement in her peripheral vision and she knew that it was Joe. He'd hesitate in shooting her and she'd use that to her advantage.

"Yes," Ryan mumbled, ducking his head as a blush settled over his cheeks. The ending was always what he looked forward too – she rewarded him greatly for finding her. He shook his thoughts away as she raised an eyebrow at him; she knew what he was thinking of. Facing away, he indicated for her to carry on.

"It's time for a reversal...just stay behind this bail until you hear the signal," she nodded, pushing him behind the bail. Hiding her grin, she quickly turned away before ducking a paintball to her shoulder. She had seen their plan from a mile off – the two of them were surrounded. Supposedly, they were trapped.

"Shit," one swore, touching his shoulder as the bullet struck him. Looking around, he caught a glimpse of Ryan before the boy snuck away – sulkily; he turned and joined Miley on the side of the field.

"It's okay Nick...you did good," Miley grinned encouragingly, patting him on the knee lightly. She was oblivious to his widened eyes at her contact as her eyes were trained on the field. She was enraptured with the game going on infront of her and she just wanted to shout out in warning.

* * *

"Da dun, da dun, da dun..." he continued to hum as he stalked throughout the open field. He knew he was in wide open but he was hoping Joe would protect him. He was the ever-faithful bait for their 'plan.'

"What the fuck?" he mumbled, looking down at his chest as a bullet splattered against the fabric. His head shot up immediately, catching a glimpse as a blonde set of hair sprinted away. He had to admit that Lilly was quick and deceptive as hell – she was perfect for his brothers. Grinning broadly, he waltzed of fin the direction of Miley and Nick; raising an eyebrow at his younger brothers blush.

"You know...you should really look behind you," a voice whispered, making the boy turn around. His eyes widened in shock as he looked at the barrel pushing against his chest. Raising his eyes he bit his lip in nervousness. He had just seen his brother be shot down and he was wondering who had done that.

"Now...now...Ryan...maybe you should...maybe you should put that down," he stuttered, raising his hands in surrender. His eyes continuously flicked towards the gun lying at his feet and his mind whirled through with ideas. He had to atleast try to shoot the boy first – he wouldn't be a Jonas if he didn't try.

"No mer-" his mantra was cut off as Joe tripped him and somehow, grabbed the gun lying at his feet and shot him in the chest. Pain rippled through him at the contact of the bullet and pain sprayed against his face. Lilly would not be happy that the boy had beaten him but, all was fair. He wanted to see how the game would play out when they both had feelings for each other. He hoped Lilly wouldn't hurt the boy too much.

"Oh...oh...sorry what was that? Oh yeah...who's the man? Who _is_ the m...fuck!" Joe shouted, stopping his 'happy' dance as a bullet pierced his back. Falling to his knees he turned to see his...he turned to see Lilly grinning broadly. Eyes widening in shock, he glared in mock-horror at the girl he was slowly falling in love with.

"Sorry babe...game's a game," she shrugged, laughing as the two boys fell to the ground dramatically. Shaking her head gingerly at the two, she turned on her heel and danced towards the rest of the group. Her team had won and she had scored the winning shot – Lilly Truscott never lost.

* * *

"I can't believe you shot me," Joe pouted, crossing his arms sulking as he sat on the couch. His bottom lip extended as the rest came laughing in and Lilly took a seat beside him. He had been complaining about the unfairness of the situation all the way back to the hotel and he knew the others were getting annoyed at it. He just couldn't believe she had shot him.

"Relax Joey...it's just a game," she condoled, patting his knee gently. She didn't want him feeling sad at her beating him but, she couldn't control her competitive streak. She should've warned him – they hadn't even gone out on a date and she was already pushing him away.

"But you sh-" his continuous complaining was cut short as her lips came in contact with his. Shutting her eyes tightly, she prayed that her sorry was in the kiss. Fiercely gripping his neck, she crawled into his lap – straddling his thighs. Her eyes widened as he gripped her hips tightly, pulling her even closer to his body; holding her tightly, as if he didn't want to let go. Rising slightly, she tilted his head to deepen the kiss – smiling as a small moan escaped.

Pulling away, she breathed in deep. Watching as she left him breathless. "For...forgiven?" she asked, biting her lip gently. She could see the lust in his eyes and she grinned slightly. She loved the control she had over him and the lust he always had when looking at her. She never wanted it to leave at all – running a hand through his hair, she sighed as he gripped her waist tighter.

"Completely," he grinned hungrily, bending his head to nip her neck. He grinned against her neck as he felt her push his head closer – obviously wanting more of his touch. He knew they were shaky ground but, he couldn't stop touching her. He craved her under his skin and he was slightly scared at how much.

"Hey, hey, hey now...none of that...there are other people in the room," Miley chided, grinning at the couple on the couch. She enjoyed seeing her best-friend so happy and the fact that the boy was so nice – she couldn't be happier. They appeared as if they were made for each other when they were together and she just wished she would have that one day.

"Yeah...please save me from that view," Kevin smiled, ruffling Joe's hair as he walked past the couch. He sent a wink towards the blushing Lilly before settling himself on the floor, his back against the chair. He couldn't believe his brother was so 'touchy' with a girl – he was never like that before. He admired the fact that Lilly could make him a nervous wreck but then instil the most confidence in the boy.

"Lillian...I think we should talk," Ryan stated, raising an eyebrow at the close proximity of the two. He knew, just by their display, that they were completely infatuated with each other. It wasn't hard to figure out – all he needed to figure out was if he was still needed. He knew she'd need him when they left for their tour; but at the moment, he felt slightly in the way.

"Sure," she nodded, shooting him a strange look. After difficulty extracting herself from Joe's hold – he wouldn't let go – she followed Ryan into the kitchen. She knew what he was feeling; she could read it in his eyes. She didn't know if she could say goodbye to him again.

* * *

"So...talk?" she questioned, pulling herself up onto the kitchen counter. She couldn't stand when she felt the indecision in the air. Nervously she bit her bottom lip gently, raising her gaze to meet his. The avoidance in his eyes gave her a clear sense of what he was trying to say.

"You...I got a call today...from my mana-"

"How is your mom?" she asked, purposely interrupting his sentence. She didn't want to hear the words. She didn't want to hear him say it. It would make her 'happy world' crumble slightly and she couldn't handle that just yet. She needed him with her for aslong as possible.

"She's good...she's really good actually...but, there's a big competition coming up and...and basically, I'm the special guest-star. It's the nationals Sparks...it's the nationals," he rushed, running a nervous hand through his hair. He dropped his gaze to the ground because he didn't want to see her disappointment. He knew he was supposed to be here for as long as she needed him but, he couldn't give up on the Skateboarding Nationals. He had always wanted to go and he was the guest-star – it was his dream.

"You...you're leaving?" she choked, eyes widening. She forced back the tears she wanted to cry and listened to what he had to say. Atleast this time he was saying goodbye – last time he didn't. He had just left – she should atleast allow him the explanation he obviously needed.

"It's my job..." he stated, shuffling his feet nervously. He was surprised he had the courage to tell her rather than to just leave but, he knew she needed closure. He couldn't leave, not when she was slowly healing. He missed her smile and laughter – he was definantly leaving with good memories this time.

"So you're just gonna up and leave?!" she shouted, her emotions getting the better of her. She knew she was being irrational, but she didn't want her world to crumble. His presence was helping her heal and she didn't know if it would continue to when he had left. She just didn't want him to go.

"Sparks...it's my job," he said, stepping back from the irate girl. He had seen her get this way before and he knew he was in trouble. She reacted badly to things she wasn't expecting but, he didn't want to ruin her world. It was in his contract that he had to go and it couldn't be broken. He didn't want to leave.

"When do you leave?" she asked coldly, sliding off of the countertop. Her posture was rigid and she glared at the boy before her. Rationally, she knew it wasn't his decision but she couldn't give that side of her reign – she was just getting her emotions back. She was just beginning to feel again and she was sure if him leaving would affect that.

"As soon as possible," he muttered, taking a step closer to the girl. She was closing herself off from him and he didn't like it. He wanted to leave on good terms and he couldn't if she was mad. He couldn't leave if she didn't forgive him. He couldn't leave her when she was angry.

"Fuck you," she seethed, pushing past him and out the kitchen door. The air was left cold and her emotions were out of control. She needed air to breath and she needed to get away from everyone. She couldn't handle to suffocating feeling of being in the room with everyone looking at her – she needed to get away.

"Lilly! Lilly!" Ryan shouted, running after the emotional girl. He ignored the looks of everyone in the room and ran after the emotional girl. He didn't care – all he wanted was for her to turn around. He had a feeling she was slowly going back to her past and he didn't want to be the reason. He was her saviour last time, he didn't want to be her cause this time.

* * *

"What happened?" Joe asked, leaping to his feet. He had just seen Lilly stalk past looking frazzled and he had wanted to go after her. He had a feeling she just needed some air but, he wanted to know what had made her feel so...emotional. He wanted to know what the shouting was all about.

"I'm...I have to leave...Lilly didn't take it so well," Ryan mumbled, his hair wet from the rain outside. He had run down the street looking for the blonde girl but he returned empty handed. She ran pretty fast when she wanted to escape something – he knew from following her. He just wished he knew where she was.

"Of course Lilly wouldn't take it well you moron...she told me about the last time you left...how could you leave her with saying goo-"

"There was more to it than that Miley! Alot more to it that you'll never understand," he growled, clinching his hands into fists. He didn't want a repeat of what had happened in the past between him and Lilly to get out – he knew Joe was jealous enough at their closeness. He didn't want the boy to know about their physical closeness.

"Then help me," she retorted, glaring at the slightly older boy. She didn't want to feel sorry from him but, she could see the emotion in his eyes. He really did love Lilly and he regretted what he had done. She just wanted to know where her best-friend had gone.

"Did she also tell you about all the using? The escape? Huh...did she tell you that it wasn't completely my fault?!" he shouted, running his hands through his hair. He needed to get out there and look for Lilly before she fell back into her old habits. He didn't want her to fall again because he knew that he wouldn't be there to pick up the pieces. He didn't know if he could trust Joe to do it.

"Using?" Joe questioned, looking curiously at the boy. Lilly had only told him bits of information about her time with Ryan – she didn't say anything about using. He knew that she had a dark past but she was looking towards the future; he couldn't fault her for her mistakes. As long as she acknowledged them, he was fine with it. As long as she was in his arms, he was fine.

"It's not my story Joe...you'll have to ask Sparks," he answered, slumping into the chair. He would let Lilly have her time and he would wait. He would put on hold his life for her this one last time – he couldn't leave, not when she was so emotional. He knew they were all curious and he could see the worry in the boys' eyes – they were made for each other.

"Where is she?"

'_Now you're gone...I realise my love for you was stro-'_

"Hello?" Miley asked, pulling the phone up to her ear. She could feel the gazes of the other's on her and she blushed at the attention. She had practically just met the boys' and she was stuck in a hotel room with them.

"_Miles?"_

"Oliver?" she questioned, furrowing her brows. The boy hardly wrung her and when he did, it was never good. She feared his phone-calls but enjoyed his txts.

"_It's Lilly...she's alittle...she's alittle...she's go-"_

"Spit it out!"

"_Lilly's in trouble..."_

Sorry 'bout the lateness of the chapter...I've just been really busy :) I'M SORRY! Please continue to read and review! :)

Luv ya

* * *


	13. Live

**Warning: There is some slightly heavy subject matter in this...please don't be offended...**

**First, some thankyou's are in order...:)**

**love-moon-child:** I am still alittle bit busy but I'd thought I'd get this chappie up quite quickly because alot of people were asking for it and they were really nice reviews and stuff :) Thanks for your support and I hope you're enjoying the story!

**grapejuicehigh:** You sound really excited about my story and I love the fact that it's over a story that I've written! :) Thankyou for your support and I hope you're still gonna continue to read and review!!

**HeyThereJessica: **Thanks about the intense comment! I hope my writing describes and helps you guys understand just what is going on...?? But thanks for your continuous reading and reviews and I hope you continue to do that!! :)

**MyJonasSensesAreTingling3: **Lols, I think this was my first cliffy?? I'm not sure but it was fun to write but I couldn't handle the wait and I'm pretty sure some of the reviewers couldn't either lols...Thanks for your support and please continue to read and review!! :)

**My-Edward-1992: **I've updated!! :) Hopefully you like the chapter?? Thanks for your support and I think you should continue to review!! Haha lols, hope you like the story...

**adorkable395: **So I think this is the fastest update I've had for quite some time...hopefully it's up to your standards?? Lols...but please continue to read and review it helps with the putting up of chapters! Thanks for your support :)

**Ms.JessicaTowns: **I love loe fluff aswell that's why it's int the majority of the chapters lols. Their my favourite pairings at the moment...I really like them :) Remember to read and review!! Thanks!

**ohhmyyjonasx3:** It's an update!! Yeeeaah!! Lols, so you should review and tell me if you like it? Hahaha...

**XO Miz Blond OX: **Thanks for the compliments and here's your update!! :) Hopefully you like it?? Read and review!! :)

**But on with the chapter!!**

* * *

"Give it to me," she instructed, extending her hand. Her gaze never wavered as she eyed the man before her – she recognized him from previous years. The doors were wide open and she easily entered; no one would deny her. They had all been instructed that she was above their ruling – always above everyone.

"Thought you were clean?" he questioned, pulling the substance back. He had heard the rumours and he had seen the last time she entered. He didn't know if he should give it to her – he didn't want to ruin a life of a young girl. It wasn't such a feat to make others fall but he admired the girl before him. She left their world and went back to normal; something must've happened for her to come crawling back.

"Give it to me..." she demanded, stepping closer to the man. He wasn't her usual 'dealer' but he was one of many she had dealt with. Her suddenly dry lips ached under the pulsing lights and dank air – she needed the release. She needed her troubles to leave just so she could have a peace of mind. She needed the numbness.

"It'll cost," he grinned, winking towards her. He wouldn't make the fall that easy. She needed to work for it. He wasn't going to deny her anything but she was a customer all the same. He needed the money and she obviously needed the rush. He would allow her fall but, he needed to make sure she could pay first.

"Here," she grunted, thrusting the bills into his awaiting hands before taking the little bag. She ignored him as he waltzed out of the room and sat at the table. Emptying the contents, she grinned in anticipation. Lowering her head, she sniffed up the white substance and leant back – spent.

The world spun – her vision hazy. She laughed hysterically as images passed through her vision. Her past; every deed she had done she remembered it all. Faded images of a past she wanted forgotten – she didn't want to face what had become her reality.

* * *

"_Daddy..."_

"_Honey...this is brilliant..." the man grinned, looking down at his young child. She was his world – his everything. He didn't need his wealth or power; all he wanted was for her to be happy. All he wanted was for her to have the advantages that life could offer. He wanted her to live._

"_I made it for you Daddy..."_

"_It's beautiful," he murmured, pulling the young girl in his arms. He tightened his grip as she laughed joyously...it was all he ever wanted in life. Lilly was his little girl and he'd protect her for however long she'd let him._

* * *

"_While you were out with that who-"_

"_It's called working Charlotte! How else do you think you get this house?! This life?!"_

"_You ass! I never asked for this!"_

"_No...you just expected it!! Did you ever on-"_

"_Mummy? Daddy?" her vision was hazed as she looked towards her parents. The room was a mess – she could see the shattered glass scarring the floor. Her mother had tears in her eyes and her father was just about at the door. Her confusion echoed in her voice; what was happening?_

"_S...sweetie, you should be in bed," her mother chided softly, continuously flicking her gaze to the man of the house. His brow was furrowed and his gaze was heavy. Ignoring him, she turned fully, to her daughter. She wiped away a tear as she saw her young girl shivering – whether it be in fear or confusion. No child should have to see the damage of hate._

"_I couldn't sleep..."_

* * *

"_Dad?" She turns her gaze to the living room and stops. "What are you doing?" _

_His eyes are staring sightlessly at the ceiling. One arm hanging loosely over the edge of the sofa. He's as still as a rock._

"_Dad...dad?" Her voice quietens as she steps closer – his motionless form scaring her. Whispering, she reaches out gently. "Daddy?"_

_She rushes closer, gripping the older mans' shoulders' tightly – shaking him violently. "Dad...Dad...Dad! Daddy!" He doesn't respond, his eyes unseeing. She steps back violently, glancing towards her hands. She ignored the coldness of his body and grips the phone tightly._

'_**911 emergency...'**_

"_Hello?"_

'_**Do you hav-'**_

"_My Dad...he's...he's not breathing..."_

'_**Is he conscious?'**_

"_I don't...I-I-I can't...No...no, he's not breathing," she murmured, stepping closer to the body. _

'_**Ok, I need you to give me your address...'**_

"_What?"_

'_**I'm gonna send an ambulance over...'**_

"_Si...sixteen twenty, Cross Road...Beverly Hills...it's...it's a hill..."_

'_**I'm sending a unit right away. Are you alone in the house?'**_

"_Yes."_

'_**Did you see what happened...did he fall?'**_

"_No...no. I...I came home and he...what should I do?"_

'_**Do you know how to administer CPR?'**_

"_I don't remember..." she choked, fighting the tears threatening to fall. Her eyes never wavered from the motionless body before her._

'_**Okay, it's very simple. You wanna tilt your father's head back. Cover his mouth with yours, and breathe into his mouth.'**_

_The phones drops as the tuneless tone continues. "I know this...I know this...God," she murmurs, moving towards her fathers' side. She gips his legs and pulls him down across the sofa so that he lies flat._

"_I can do this...Okay...okay," she repeats, tilting her fathers' head back. She opens his mouth, pinches his nose shut and breathe steadily into his mouth twice. She then begins the chest compressions._

"_One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight..." She stops, looking towards her fathers' face before giving him two more breathes and resuming the compressions._

"_One, two, three, four, five, six...__**crack**__...Oh god...oh god," she panics, removing her hands from his chest. She reaches for the phone, praying the operator was still there._

"_I...are you there? I...I think I broke something..."_

'_**Hello?'**_

"_It cracked..."_

'_**Is he breathing?'**_

"_No..."_

'_**Paramedics should be there in a moment. You might have cracked a rib. It's not important...'**_

_Sliding her hand across his cheek, she flinches at the touch. "He's...he's cold..."_

'_**The body's cold?'**_

"_No...my Dad! Sh...should I make him warm?"_

'_**No...If she's not responding to CPR, the best thing is to wait for the paramedics, okay?'**_

"_When will they be here?"_

'_**They're very nearby...'**_

_Lifelessly she walks to the door, hearing the sirens coming to a stop – she turns back towards her father, leaving the door open. She glances anxiously towards the door and flicks her gaze back towards her father – biting her lip gently. "She's in here..."_

"_He's cold man," one paramedic responds, flinching as he touch the mans forehead. He gazes softly towards Lilly but nods as the other silently instructs him to call it. _

"_I'm sorry," the other states, placing a consoling hand on her shoulder. He was just wondering when she'd fall – she was just a slip of a girl and she had found her fathers' body cold and lifeless. He wasn't sure what she would do._

"_Wh...What do we do now?" she asks, staring wide-eyed at the man. She continues to stare as he drones on about some technical issue – his words not sinking in. _

"_I'm very sorry for your loss," he stated, nodding towards the small girl. He hated when the family was there to witness the death – it made the reasoning harder to say. _

"_Goodluck," she intones, walking the two to the door as she faintly heard their other call. The phone was still tightly gripped in her hand as she looks out towards the world. _

_Lilly turns and walks back inside – her dazed expression holding. She looks towards her father before turning away. Her legs buckle as she falls to her knees; the tears finally falling. Feeling a pull, she vomits onto the floor. Her vision hazy, she stands slowly – putting her hand to her stomach and walks into the kitchen. She helplessly gazes out the window; watching the world still turning. _

_Licking her dry lips, she stands for moment longer before turning back, leaning on the table for support. Taking a bunch of paper towels, she goes back into the living room and puts the paper towels over the vomit. Her gaze lingers as the liquid begins to seep through. _

* * *

"No, no, no, no, no, no..." she murmured, rocking back and forth on the floor. She didn't want to relive her past – especially not that memory. It was still fresh and it was the cause of her downfall. The image was still burned into her brain and despite how much she refused – it would stay. No matter the damage she inflicted – it still remained.

"Lils...Lilly?" a voice asked, stepping into the room. His gaze widened as he saw the slightly catatonic girl. Worried filled his gaze as he rushed towards the fallen girl. His hands shook as he tried to reach her but, she wouldn't respond. Her gaze was glassy and her murmurs consistent.

"_Miles..."_

* * *

"_Go away..."_

"_I have a present," he intoned, chucking the small plastic bag into her lap. He watched as she jumped up in fright – her blonde hair swinging widely. _

"_What is it?" she questioned, looking from the bag to the boy in her doorway. She had met him 6 months ago – she could remember the day exactly; it was when her world crumbled. He had become her saving grace in a world too harsh for her to survive. Her mother was moving forth but she was stuck. The echoing memories still haunted her._

"_It's an escape," he grinned, jumping onto the bed beside her. He knew her body well and he could see she was eager. His eyes dragged across her form, raking in her curves – he licked his lips in anticipation. He knew he wasn't anything special but, he loved for her to use him. He gained just as much as she did._

"_Show me," she instructed, turning to face the boy on her bed. She could see the glint in his eyes and she shivered slightly in anticipation. She just wanted to escape the pain and let the passion wash over her. _

"_It's like this..." he smiled, grabbing a magazine from the bed. He laid it flat and sprinkled the white substance over top – quickly making a line. Narrowing it to make it easier, he looked back up at the girl. "Now...now you sniff..."_

"What the fuck happened?" Joe asked, running into the door. His eyes were wide and his breath was short. He had just rushed over after Miley had told him of Olivers' news. Lilly was in trouble and he wasn't there to protect her. He wasn't there to calm her.

"She...she's...I dunno...she's gone catatonic," Oliver mumbled, stepping to the side so the others could see her. He watched as they all gasped in horror or sadness and took a step closer. He flicked his gaze to Joe and he smiled alittle in appreciation. He was devastated but eager to help. He could see the love in the boys' gaze.

"What'd she take?" Ryan questioned, walking up to the rocking girl. He noticed the speck of white dust sprinkling her nose and he shook his head in disappointment. He knew he was the catalyst for her fall and he turned away from the site. He couldn't help her now.

"What do you mean?" Kevin asked, walking deeper into the room. He watched as Nick placed a comforting hand on Joes' shoulder as the boy gazed towards his love. He knew that neither of them had been faced with such a dilemma but he hoped Joe would stay strong. Joe was always the emotional one.

"She's fuckin' taken something..." he answered, running a hand through his hair. He knew it wasn't his right to lose control – it wasn't up to him now. It was Joe's turn to step up and take care of her. He would be there for support but, she wouldn't listen to him even if he had tried.

"Lilly...Lilly babe," Joe murmured, sitting next to the girl and gripping her cheeks helplessly. He needed her to respond to him. He needed her eyes not to be so glassy and he needed her to look back at him. "Lils...you need...I need you back..." his voice choked back the tears, his gaze never wavering from hers. He could feel the gazes of the others around him and their pleading thoughts. He needed to bring her back.

"There was white powder around her...?" Oliver stated, looking towards the two on the couch. He watched as Joe helplessly pleaded with the unresponsive girl – tears falling freely. He looked away in respect and turned towards the others. His gaze settled on Ryan as he glared towards the couple.

"Coke...she's falling back...I...I made her fall back," he mumbled, slumping against the wall behind him. His world came crashing down at what he realised he just did. He had caused her world to cave back in on itself and he damaged the girl. He wasn't sure if she could be pulled back this time because she was in so deep last time. It took several months to pull the girl back and he knew she was still silently suffering.

"It wasn't anyone's fault Ryan...we just need to hope for the best," Miley smiled slightly, her gaze settling back on the couple on the couch. She noticed Joe clinging to the girl in hope – pulling her into his lap. She watched as he desperately clung to her; whispering encouraging words into her ear. She knew that if anyone could get her friend back it would be him – she had seen their connection.

"Mileys' right Rye...just...just breathe," Nick hummed, a tight smile replacing his frown. He didn't know what to make of the scene before him. His older brother was clinging for dear life onto a young girl as tears flowed down both of their faces. He could tell she was still catatonic but, he wished his brother succeeded. He wanted the old Lilly back and he knew Joe wouldn't be the same if she stayed that way.

* * *

'_Come back...'_

'_We need you...'_

'_Don't...not again...'_

'_I need you...'_

Her gaze straightened and her vision lightened. The tears still clouded her vision but the running images were gone. She wasn't back in her past; she was in the arms of someone. She could hear his words...his pleas for her to return and she was shocked. She had had never had someone care that much. Ryan had tried but she had pushed him away – she wasn't sure who was holding her.

"Please...god...please come back..." he choked, gripping her tighter. He couldn't believe the fear that invaded his veins – the loss of energy. She drained him dry and she wasn't even aware of it at all. He depended on her liveliness alot more than he cared to think – he craved her touch.

"J...J...Joe?" she sobbed, her voice thick and dry. She was startled as he gently pushed her away; his eyes raking over her face. She watched as he smiled brilliantly – running his hands over her cheeks; gripping them tightly.

"I...I...I've never felt this before," he breathed, leaning his forehead against hers. He was sick of hiding behind the unknown – he had to let her know. He wanted all of her and he wouldn't settle for second best anymore. There were to be no more secrets between them; he couldn't handle it anymore. He understood she had led a wild past but, he couldn't lose her. He wouldn't ever be the same.

"Felt what?" she asked, her voice low as to not attract attention. She could feel other eyes on her but she concentrated on the boy infront of her. His eyes were so expressive and they shone with love. She glanced at his tear-stained cheek and they widened alittle. She wasn't aware that he was that attached to her. They had only known each other for a short while but – she knew she couldn't imagine a future without him in it...whether a love or friend.

"This...us...when I thought I'd lost you Lillian...I couldn't...don't ever...I couldn't breathe," he whispered, closing his eyes. He let the world come back into perspective and his breathing return to normal. He wasn't always like this but she brought it out in him. She brought out the love-sick fool that lay hidden in his heart and he loved that she was able to do that. The site of her in pain would stay with him forever but, he was glad that she had returned. He knew there were things to talk through but, she was back for now.

"J...Joe...I didn't mean..." she trailed off as he shook his head. She could see he wanted to say something and she would allow him that much. She knew there was stuff to deal with and the fact that she had let slip another fault in her past – but, he looked as if he was just happy to have her back in his arms. She let a small smile slip out and widened her eyes at his next comment.

"I think...I think I love you..." he murmured, tilting her head so her eyes gazed back into his. He could see the fear in her eyes but, he needed her to hear what he felt. He couldn't keep the feeling at bay anymore and he needed to release it. He needed her to know just where he was in their relationship.

"Y...you what?" she questioned, leaning back slightly. She was shocked at his confession and scared to death of it. No one had been so openly loving towards her except for her father and look where that had got him. She didn't know if it was in her to return the boys' love – she was just healing. She had heard that you needed to face the past before stepping into the future. She knew she had some issues to work out but she didn't know if she could drag Joe along with her.

"I think...I love you," he smiled shyly, blushing lightly as their gazes locked. It was hard to read her gaze because of her mixed emotions but he waited patiently for her words. He knew it was a shock but he waited for her to respond.

J...Joe...I don't...you're goin..."she stammered, climbing out of his hold. Her heart broke at his lost expression but she knew what she had to do. She couldn't completely be with him until she sorted herself out. She couldn't fully give herself to him until she worked out how of herself there was really to give. She couldn't promise her heart when she didn't know if it was whole or not.

"You don't love me?" he questioned, pulling physically away from her. He could feel the others' gasp of shock but he ignored them all. He focused on the small girl infront of him. He noticed the fear in her eyes and he was regretting the speed he was taking things but, he couldn't control the way he felt.

"I can't...I can't...not now," she breathed, running out of the house. She picked up speed as the rain began to drench her clothes. It seeped into her skin and soothed her breaking heart. She choked on her sobs as her legs gave out. The emotion was too much and she needed some release.

"It's okay...It's okay," Joe murmured, pulling her against his chest. He could understand where she was coming from and he would give her the time. He let the rain heal the wounds that were open and just hoped that tomorrow would be a better day. He knew things would be slightly awkward between the two of them but he needed her to know just what he was thinking. He needed her to understand that he wasn't planning on just forgetting her – he was planning a future with them in mind.

* * *

So...That's the 'trouble that Lilly was in lols...there's gonna be some more drama in later chapters...is Joe really okay with Lilly not loving him??

Continue to read and review 'cause it's helps to push the chapters up lols!

Thankyou so much!!

* * *


	14. Look At Me

The air was thick – emotion filled the air. The rain fell as she gazed at the image. She needed the time away from everyone; she needed to face this alone. She knew that things were revealed within her group of friends, but, she still had things only she could face. The others weren't a part of what stood before her – it was only her.

Shakily, her hand glided over the embossed lettering. Remembering a time when she could feel his arms around her; remembering a time when she was alive. Biting her lip gently, she leant back on her knees. It had been a year but it still remained the same. The stone looked untouched but she could see the slight aging of stone. Her vision hazed as a sob broke through her silence.

"I'm sorry..." he whispered, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. He felt the echoing emotions rippling through her body. Tears formed in his own eyes as he gazed at the broken girl – she had never been this bad. He was there in the past and she never broke this way; she never allowed a weakness to show. He knew she was terrified of her feelings.

She nodded, her voice blocked by her tears. Gripping his offered hand tightly; she let the emotions reign. It was finally happening. She was finally allowing the past to leave her shadow. Collapsing against him, she allowed him to offer her a small comfort. Sobbing loudly, she listened to his echoing words – a dim noise against the emotional turmoil within her.

* * *

"He really does love you," he stated, looking down at the girl in his arms. He had followed her to where they now sat – watched as she collapsed. He knew what was happening and he was terrified that he was leaving. Watching the couple he had seen the strain Joe was in and he just wasn't sure the boy was up for supporting Lilly at the moment.

"I know..." she murmured, extending their hands out infront of them. They were intertwined and she was amazed at how tiny hers were compared to his. She couldn't think of such a complicated emotion – all she knew were the simple things. Her mind couldn't comprehend anything else. Too much had happened that day and she needed the break to breathe.

"You can't say it can you?" he asked, flexing his biceps to tighten his hold on her. He knew it was a sore topic and he had seen the affects her denial had caused on the poor boy. She needed to face things from now on – he wouldn't let her slide by anymore. She finally faced her memories and he knew she would soon be ready to step into the future.

"No," she nodded, snuggling deeper into the familiar embrace. It was the past but she could still feel the attraction towards him. She buried the feelings for so long that they remained dormant and her attraction towards Joe immediately blocked them. She knew that she was inlove with Joe but, she just couldn't bring herself to say the words. She had lost too many that she had loved.

"He's leaving soon," he intoned, leaning his head against the headstone. They had stayed at Lillys' fathers grave – he had txted the others to say that they were safe. He knew that Joe was worried; he had seen it in the boys gaze and he slumped back in the door. The boy was emotionally drained and he couldn't blame him – to love Lilly was to leave normal and leap into the unknown.

"Ryan..." she warned, stiffening slightly. She didn't want to think of the time when Joe would leave to continue touring – but couldn't allow herself to think of that. It hurt more than she was willing to admit and she was putting it off for awhile. She didn't want to delve into her feelings towards the boy. She knew it was a deep feeling but, she wasn't willing to allow it to nourish.

"You can't play with him Lilly..." he whispered, a steel note in his voice. He wasn't sure why he was protective of the other boy but he was. Lilly could hurt him alot more than Joe even realised but the boy was infatuated. His love for Lilly was clouding his judgement and he knew all three of the brothers' were used to Lillys' presence. He wouldn't be surprised if she was asked to go on tour with them.

"I'm not playing with anyone," she retorted, completely removing herself from his grip. She knew the boy before her was right – at the beginning she was going to play with him. Once she caught a sight of the truth in his eyes; she couldn't go through with it. He had captured her just as she had to him – they were both infatuated with each other. Obviously, the emotion had turned to love but she couldn't bring herself to say it.

"You do it unconsciously Sparks...he's hanging by a thread," he warned, moving his gaze to the headstone beside her – reading the imprinted words. The name meant nothing to him but he was grateful for the different scenery. The bleak sky was too much like the emotions around him. The weather was just as unmovable as Lillys' heartbreak; he needed something else to think about.

"I never told him to get so attac-"

"You're doing it again! You can't keep pulling away...he's trying to understand just what's holding you back but, it's hard when you continuously pull away. You're there physically but when it comes to emotions Sparks...you're not," he growled, jumping to his feet. He began to pace as he let the feelings out. She couldn't continue to try to stay emotionally detached from everyone – it was time for her to return to reality. Her little 'trip' down memory lane helped to face her past and now it was time to face her future.

"It won't let me," she murmured, turning away from his frustrated gaze. She trained her eyes on the moving blades of gaze – wishing life was that simple. She wished she could allow time to dictate just what she would do but she couldn't; life didn't wait for anyone. She knew Ryan was right but she didn't want to face it. Her heart wouldn't let her express just what she had felt. It had been too damaged from the previous years – it didn't really want to feel the pain again.

"It won't let you?"

"Yes Ryan...My...I do...I like him Ryan...I really do. I just can't...I can't put it into words. I don't think I can," she choked, tears falling freely. It felt as if it was a deficiency within her and she hated it. She hated that she couldn't express her feelings for the boy and she hated that it was because of her past actions. She wasn't sure just what her other friends were up to at the moment but she knew they were talking or consoling Joe. He had expressed his love for and she had offered nothing in return. She wouldn't be surprised if he was gone when she arrived back at the house.

"You're alot stronger than you think Sparks...you've faced alot and your still here – it means something that you've allowed him so far into your heart already...I know you love him Lillian...I can see it in your eyes whenever you look towards him but I understand where you're coming from. All that you've faced...it would have to affect you in some way and obviously, your heart still needs to mend. You need to tell him that. You can't just expect him to know...he's not psychic," he stated, his gaze filled with worry as he looked towards his friend. It wasn't everyday that she broke down and he knew the turmoil she was in. She had just revisited places in her past that she didn't want to see ever again and now Joe is looking for her heart. He knew she loved him, it was obvious, but the fact was that she couldn't let herself love him. She wouldn't allow herself that respite from her life – she couldn't allow herself to let anyone else in that far.

"He's leaving soon isn't he?" she questioned, her wide eyes looking up at him. She knew she was running out of time but she couldn't rush her heart. She needed some time alone to sort a few things out before leaping into the future. She knew that she wanted Joe in it but she wasn't sure in what capacity.

"Yeah...I think their next tour date is in Texas? They'll be leavin' soon Lils...you need to sort it out," he stated, turning and walking away. He needed to leave her alone to think – he knew she needed it. She needed to work out what she wanted from her life and then go after it. He wouldn't be there to hold her hand anymore; he wouldn't be her fall-back. She had back-tracked and she had seen the damage it had caused. She had people that worried about her this time; not like last time.

"Ryan!" she called, making the boy turn around. She knew he was feeling guilty about what had happened – he didn't say it but she knew he was thinking it. Although they had been apart for quite some time; she could still read him like a book. He'd fret about the incident for as long as possible and no one would be able to get him out of the slump. It wasn't his fault. It was a long time coming and he needed to know that. He needed to know that she didn't blame him and she knew the others wouldn't either. She made her own decisions and mistakes – she couldn't let others take the blame for her actions. "It wasn't your fault Rye...you know that right?"

"Thanks Sparks," he nodded, smiling at the girl. He was thankful she had said that or else he'd be thinking about it for the rest of his life. He had never caused so much damage to a human being before and he was scared at the sight of it. Watching as she rocked back and forth in a catatonic state – the image would stay with him for a lifetime. No longer would he be able to witness others taking the drugs; he had personally seen the damage they could do. He didn't want his friends to do that.

She watched as he turned away – leaving her alone to her thoughts. She knew she had a lot to think about and she knew she had to do it fast. Life didn't wait for anyone and she knew she was on a time limit. Everyone would be wondering where she was but, she couldn't face them. Not yet anyway – it was all too soon. Life was moving too fast and she needed to slow it down. She needed to be able to breathe and at the speed it was moving; she couldn't. She didn't want to disappoint anyone but she needed time and space.

Her feelings were certain and she knew what she had to do with them but she couldn't bring herself to leave just yet. The calmness that surrounded her was soothing and she loved that there wasn't any pressure where she was. All she had to do was look towards her fathers' grave and a smile made its way onto her face shyly. He could always stabilize her world and he was even doing it in his death. She admired the deceased man for extending his love even beyond the grave. She was thankful that he was still with her – she couldn't face the world without the knowledge that he atleast looked down on her. Leaning back, she watched as the clouds glided past; easing her mind and letting her troubles wash away.

* * *

She bit her lip nervously as she looked towards the door. She wasn't sure why she was so nervous but she could feel the sweat on her palms. She had made a decision about where she wanted Joe in her life and she was just about to tell him. Rubbing her palms against her jeans, she looked towards either end of the hallway – trying to prolong her declaration.

"Lilly?" a voice asked, making the girl jump in fright. Her eyes widened drastically as she recognised the voice – obviously others wanted to know the news sooner. She turned on her heel sharply to face the object of both her affection and fear.

"Joe..." she sighed, taking in his appearance. She didn't really remember how he looked after their little 'rain' intervention but she knew he looked drastically different now. He looked very tired and emotionally drained. His eyes held alittle bit more pain than she wanted in them and she knew she was the source of the emotion. She hated herself for that.

"Where have you been? I've been looking..." he trailed off as he noticed her step back as he moved forward. He frowned slightly as he noticed her distance but didn't press it. He didn't want to push her away any further than she probably already was. Ryan had spoken to him but, he wasn't sure what the boy was trying to say – majority of time he spoke in half truths. It was hard for him to decipher double meanings in words when his thoughts lay else-where.

"At my fathers' gravesite...I just needed...I needed to think," she murmured, wringing her hands furiously. Her nervousness was making the air extremely awkward and she could hear the gasp of shock. He obviously didn't know that her father was dead and she knew he'd feel sorry for her. She didn't want his pity and she didn't want him to treat her differently. It would do neither of them any good

"Your father's grave..." he repeated, his eyes widening in realisation. He was beginning to realise that he didn't know Lilly as well as he thought he did but he was just more intrigued. He wasn't sorry for her – he admired her. She was fighting to breathe in a world where others suffocate all the time and he admired her for it.

"I needed to think," she nodded, watching as he leant casually against the wall behind him. She could see how much the distance she kept was hurting him but she needed him at a certain distance away from her or else she'd fall right into his arms. She didn't want to do that – she needed to say her peace before he gave a reaction. She needed him to understand just what was going through her head. It wasn't time for secrets anymore.

"Oh?" he questioned, tilting his head to the side questioningly. He was aware of the double meaning behind her words and he was intrigued by it. He knew things between them were awkward – secrets don't make a relationship. He was fully aware that there were aspects of her past that he'd probably never know but he wanted to know – that had to count for something. He wanted to get to know the girl before him and he wanted her to be his.

"Yeah...I was thinking about...well you know how...um, you know...when y-"

"Spit it out Lillian," he grinned playfully, sending a flirtatious wink towards her. He knew it was a serious matter that she wanted to discuss but he needed to lighten the air. She was nervous and he was shocked that she still gained that emotion around him. He never wanted her nervous around him and he tried his best to allow her to be herself. He needed to ease the tension in the air and offer her alittle bit of his source.

"You said you loved me," she rushed, blushing as his eyebrows rose slightly. She could see the truth in his eyes and she was shocked by it – he truly did love her. He had come to terms with it and easily accepted the emotion. She wondered why she couldn't; she hated that she couldn't. She didn't want him to think that she just didn't like him at all because he confessed and then she ran. She wanted him to understand and maybe support her in her decision.

"Yes, I remember those words," he nodded, his gaze dropping to the floor. He wasn't aware the conversation would lead off with his declaration. He was embarrassed enough that he had spoken those words infront of his brothers rather than in a room alone with her – he didn't really need them brought up when she was obviously stuck on them. He just hoped she didn't give them back – he didn't want his love, he wanted hers. He knew he should've followed her when she escaped his embrace but he had left her alone. It seemed as if she wanted some peace to herself and he couldn't deny her anything. She was as much a part of him as his heart – she owned his heart.

"I ran," she stated, her gaze towards the window. She didn't want to see his reactions when she spoke her peace – she'd change her decision when she saw how he was physically affected by either decision. She needed to evaluate on why she ran because she could see the confusion within his gaze. He didn't know why she had run away but she knew he was curious – he always was. He wanted to know everything about her but she just wouldn't let him. She couldn't allow herself to let someone in that deep; the closest that came to her heart was Ryan.

"I watched you..." he muttered, his brow furrowing in confusion. He wasn't quite sure where she was going with her words but he'd follow willingly. He knew that she needed to say her peace, just as he had. He'd allow her her space but, he wouldn't let her go willingly. He wouldn't be able to just watch her walk away again. It broke his heart just before and he couldn't do it again.

"I'm...I'm sorry..." she stammered, her gaze watering. She knew it was wrong of her to turn and ran before but she couldn't handle the pressure. He was scaring her with the speed he was moving and she hated it. She hated that she couldn't be free like other girls her age. She hated that she couldn't allow him to love her just like he wanted too. She hated that he could overwhelm her so much and leave her hanging breathless.

"You don't...it's okay," he nodded, nervously stepping closer to the girl. He flinched physically, as she continued to step back from him – pulling away physically. He could tell that there was something she had to say before she was willing to let him touch her but it was killing him that he couldn't be close to her. It hurt him alot more than her not loving him. His skin itched for her scent and his eyes watered as he noticed her unshed tears. It was really hurting her, what she was about to say and he knew that it musn't be good. He'd only known her for a couple of days but he knew she wasn't one to cry when it was unnecessary.

"I don't...I can't rush into things...It's not in me to be able to do that..." she stated, running a nervous hand through her hair. She managed to keep the distance between herself and him so she could say her peace. She knew she was hurting him – she watched as his eyes clouded with hurt at her words and actions. It was slowly killing her watching him crumble but she needed to be herself. She needed to lay it on the table before the two could go any further.

"You want...you want to go back don't you? You want to go back to when you hated us?! You want to go back into the past?! Why? Why would you want to go back to that hell?! I could give you the world! Anything you want...I could get you!" he shouted, his hurt turning to anger. Just was it wasn't in her to rush into things, it wasn't in him to let go of things he wanted. He couldn't believe what she was trying to do to him – he wouldn't allow it. She couldn't get rid of him so easily and he wouldn't let it. He wouldn't let her go; he needed her in his life. She made his hectic schedule slow down and let him be able to enjoy it all.

"I never...Joe...I never said that...I could never go back to hating you...I lo..." her voice caught as she realised what she was about to say – she still couldn't do it. She couldn't say how she felt about him and he was taking her words the wrong way. She needed to start from the beginning and she knew he wasn't following. His judgement was so clouded by his feelings for her that he felt as if she was pulling away. She knew it sounded like it but she needed to say it all and then maybe he'd understand.

"Yes?" he questioned, his eyes widening slightly. It sounded as if she was going to say something but cut herself off. He was ashamed that he let his emotions take control but he lost all control when she was near. His heart was in control when it came to Lilly and he liked it that way. He liked that she had gained his entire heart and just wished that she could give hers in return. He didn't know much about her past but – he was willing to learn. He was willing to know all about her trouble past if she was willing to step into the future with him.

"I...It's nothing," she blushed, reprimanding herself for the look in his eyes. She had seen the hope and she hated that she had just crushed it again. She watched as his shoulders slumped and his head dropped – she bit her lip in regret. She didn't want to break his heart but she could see that she was doing that. She had already watched Ryan get his heart broken over her and she couldn't do it to another one. She couldn't watch that damage again.

"No...it's something," he pushed, stepping closer to her. He furrowed his brows as she continued to step back just as step forward. He couldn't understand why she was pulling away. He wouldn't let her. He couldn't let her just turn and walk away. He had let her do it once but he couldn't watch her do it again. No matter how much she needed time – he needed her to know that he was always going to be there. "Stop it!"

"Stop what?"

"Stop stepping away! I'm not hurting you..." he whispered, sliding his hand through his hair. He let out a frustrated grunt as she bit her lip in nervousness. She shouldn't feel the need to be nervous but he could understand why. They were finally expressing how they felt about each other and he was letting his emotions reign. He needed to calm down and let her say her peace or else nothing would get solved. No one else could get him as riled up as she was able to and as much as it unnerved him – he liked it.

"But you are Joe...you are..." she murmured, turning away from him. She didn't mean for the words to come as they did but, he pushing her. He was pushing her to tell him stuff when she wasn't ready. She couldn't give him her heart – not when he didn't understand her past. She just couldn't.

"I'm...I'm hurting you? I didn't...I didn't real-"

"I didn't mean it like that...I didn't...I just...everything's just out of whack at the moment...I can't find myself at all in this mess..." she stammered, turning back to him. She could hear the hurt in his voice and she immediately felt guilty about it. She didn't want to hurt him. She didn't want to cause him pain but she needed him to know. It was hard for him to understand when he didn't know a thing about her.

"No...you can't...look at me Lilly," he instructed, striding closer. He didn't care that she tried to move away but he was thankful that the wall behind her stopped her movement. His hand gripped her cheek desperately and he felt the tears in his eyes. He needed her to look at him – he needed her to see just what she was doing to him. "Look at me luv..." He paused as her eyes flickered to different areas of the hallway. He wouldn't continue to talk until she atleast looked him in the eye.

"You can't turn away from this...I won't let you...look at me Lillian. I'm here...I'm not leaving," he whispered, gliding his fingers over her cheek. His eyes widened as he witnessed a tear leaking through his fingers and he quickly wiped it away. He didn't deal with tears well and he didn't want her to cry. He couldn't let her leave – it just wasn't in him.

"I...I...you love me..." she recognised – seeing the emotion in his eyes. At first she didn't believe him; no one had really said it to her and meant it before. She could tell he meant it and it was hurting him for her to second-guess him. She didn't want him to be hurt and she didn't want him to feel the way he was feeling. She didn't know if she could be loved by someone.

"Completely," he murmured, trailing his fingertips over her face. They brushed her closed eyes, nose, cheeks...lips – pressing his body closer. He couldn't deny the fierce attraction he had towards her or the love he felt. He just needed to touch her to make sure she was really there. He needed her close to him – especially when he feared she was about to leave him.

"I'm difficult...I'm crazy...I'm...I'm em-"

"All the things I love about you..." he smiled, his eyes twinkling. He didn't fear saying the words anymore and he knew she needed to get used to hearing them. He had heard her warnings before and he didn't listen – he would listen as she tried to warn him away. There was nothing she could do to keep him away from her; he wouldn't allow it.

"You're leaving," she observed, her voice breathless. She couldn't believe he still took her breath away with his closeness. She wanted to push him away – she wanted him to _want_ to be pushed away. He needed to scare him and then he'd leave her alone. She needed some time to herself before she gave her heart away. She couldn't just jump into things like others could. She had done that before and all that was left was a shattered heart.

"I'm here now," he retorted, placing a fallen strand of hair behind her ear. Leaning his forehead against hers, he breathed in her scent. He wasn't sure when he was leaving but he knew it was soon – he knew he shouldn't go. He knew in his heart that they'd be fine – loved her too much for it not to be but he also knew what the repercussions would be. They wouldn't have that much time alone together for awhile and he just hoped she could hack it. He wanted her in his future and he wouldn't take no for an answer.

"You are," she smiled, running a hand along his cheek. She knew her decision had been made before she stepped foot in the hotel but he was slowly changing her mind. He loved her fiercely, she could see that just by his grip on her waist. He was clinging to her tightly and she didn't really want him to let go. She admired him for sticking around and she was slowly feeling the guilt for running away from him. She didn't want to leave him in the dark anymore. If he wanted to know all about her – then she'd tell him.

"Don't turn away," he stated, forcing her gaze to catch his. He wanted her to read him like he used to be able to read her. He used to be able to see everything that she felt when he looked into her eyes and he loved the mystery she ensued when she was around. He wanted to get to know her and he knew the way to that was just by letting her be herself.

"I...I love you," she whispered, smiling as his eyes widened in surprise. She knew he was surprised but she had listened to his words and Ryans' words. They all knew how she felt but she couldn't express it. Her heart was still mending and she didn't know if she could let Joe heal it. She wanted to be loved and she knew he did love her. It was every gaze that he sent her way and in every move he made towards her. There were secrets that still need to be told but time could reveal them. She'd live in the moment for once.

"I love you too..." he grinned, placing his lips upon hers. One hand gripped her hips tightly and the other entangled themselves in her hair. Flushing their bodies, he let out a moan of pleasure – he had never felt this way before. She was everywhere around him and he loved that. Gripping her closer, he tilted her head as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Their passion was released and they allowed it to reign. She would be his for as long as he wanted and he wouldn't let her go.

* * *

**So...do you guys like it?? She's finally said it but Joe does have to leave soon and so does Ryan...and Miley...and Nick...and Kevin - Lilly will be left alone again. ... **

**But can you please, please, please, continue to read and review and I hope you're all liking the story so far!! :)**

**Thanks so much for all your support!!**

**:)**


	15. SelfControl Part 1

She bit her lip as she walked into the room – the air filled with laughter. She smiled as she saw her two best-friends getting along with her love's brothers; it wasn't every day that they were all so relaxed. Fame did funny things to people and she loved that the people before her hadn't changed.

"It'll be okay," Joe whispered in her ear, noticing her slight nervousness. He didn't really understand just why she was nervous when they all accepted her. She didn't need to pretend infront of them because they just accepted her for her. He wasn't sure when she had developed such a nervousness but he needed to release her of it. She shouldn't be nervous infront of family.

"Thankyou," she murmured, entwining their fingers and clinging tightly to them. She knew the others were disappointed – she was too. She couldn't believe she had fallen back into her past but she was thankful to be back out of it. She was grateful that they were all still there and she needed to let them know. She needed to let them in.

"Anytime," he grinned, blushing slightly at her adoring gaze. He was surprised that she could still make him turn red at her looks – he could feel the love he had for her brimming through his veins. He didn't know how long he'd be able survive when he was away from her; he loved her.

"Lilly?" a voice interrupted; drawing the couples attention towards the rest of the room.

"I just...I'm sorry," she stated, looking towards her feet. Her hand dropped from Joes' and she felt his disappointment – she needed to do this alone. Stepping forward, she bit her lip in fear.

"You went back," Miley observed, her eyes flickering between her best-friend and Joe. She could see damage within Joes' eyes that wasn't there before and she hated Lilly for that. She hated that the girl had brought such a feat into their lives and she hated her for keeping it from her. They were supposed to have told each other everything but obviously there were things left unsaid.

"She came back though," Joe defended, glaring slightly at Miley. He slid his arms around Lillys' waist and pulling her flush against his chest – he couldn't let her face the interrogation alone. She could see her nerves raking through her body and he just wanted to lend her some strength.

"You scared me," Miley continued, ignoring the defensive stare of Joe. She refused to smile slyly as Joe wrapped the shaking girl in his arms – pulling her against him. She couldn't ignore the couple before her but her thoughts were on what had happened previously. She'd concentrate on them later; she needed to get her feelings clear on Lillys' past. "I've never...you never told me any of that...It's not just you anymore Lilly..."

"I know that now Miles...I am sorry at what had happened and I'm sorry that you guys had to witness it. Sometimes...sometimes things just get alittle too much and I fell back but I won't anymore...I've got people beside me...I'm learning Miley," Lilly choked, holding back the tears. She knew that she had alot of explaining to do but she was thankful that they were going to hear her out. She knew the others were just letting Miley have her say before they said anything and she just fretted over what the brothers would say. They didn't really know her but they knew Joe and she knew that Joe would listen to them. She feared that they'd take him away from her.

"Please don't do it again," Miley cried, pulling the girl out of Joes' grasps and into her own embrace. She clung to the smaller girl desperately – trying to portray just how much she had worried her. To see her best-friend rocking back and forth catatonically was a nightmare and she knew that it would haunt her. She feared that Lilly had worse nightmares.

"I promise," Lilly mumbled, her words muffled by Mileys' shoulder. She let the tears fall as her eyes shut tightly – clinging just as tightly to Miley as she was to her. She knew that there was still more to be said between them but it wasn't destroyed. She wouldn't scare her friend like that again because she didn't know if there would be another chance like it.

"We don't really know you Lilly..." Nick began, watching as the girl left the safety of Mileys' arms. His eyes widened slightly as Joe quickly wrapped his arms around her again and sent them a quick look of warning. He could see his brother was in fear of losing her and was clinging to her tightly. He didn't want Joe to fear because there was nothing to fear – not when it came to his heart.

"But...what had happened today...seeing you affected so badly...It put into perspective just how much you mean to Joe and us. We've only known you a couple of days but...we already see you as a good friend," Kevin said, smiling at the girl in his brothers' arms. He could see the sheer love that Joe had for her but hers' were alittle harder to read. He could tell that she had strong feelings towards Joe but he just didn't know how strong. To see her like how she was – it broke his heart. No one should subject themselves to that horror.

"You can't get away from us that easily," Nick grinned, pulling the girl into his own arms. He ignored Joes' grunt of displeasure and tightened his grip on the small blonde girl. He classified her highly among his group of friends and just seeing her how she was scared him to death. He couldn't lose her, not when she was so close to becoming a part of their lives. He could see the future in Joes' eyes and realised that the older boy wasn't planning on letting her go anytime soon.

"Thankyou..." she murmured, snuggling deeper into his embrace. She closed her eyes as she breathed in his scent – she smiled shyly. The boy before her – she already considered a best-friend – and she knew Kevin was just the same. They had developed something between the three that was intangible and she loved that it was still there.

"Hands off the girl fro'bro," Joe growled playfully, shoving his brother out of the way and pulling Lilly against him. He couldn't deny the spark of jealousy that he felt when Lilly was in his brothers' arms and he knew it was juvenile – he just couldn't control it at all. Sliding a hand along her hip, he slipped a thumb into her jean pocket – spanning his hand along her side. He knew he was being slightly possessive but he couldn't help it; not after the day they had just had.

"Lil' possessive," Ryan observed, raising an eyebrow in observation. He smirked as Lilly blushed and ducked her head into the boys' chest – releasing a laugh along with the others in the room. He knew it was easier to laugh after an emotional melt-down than it was to discuss it and he was happy Lilly was making progress. He feared his leaving tomorrow but he also knew that the brothers were on the same flight as him. He wondered how that would turn out.

* * *

"You wanna tell Miss Miley what's shakin' up between you and Joe?" she grinned, ruffling her blonde friends hair. She had finally pulled the girl away from Joes' grasp and into her own room. Through 'Hannah Montana' she was able to gain her own room which Lilly and her shared; sometimes it was beneficial to live two lives.

Grinning shyly, she turned away from her best-friend and towards the stereo. Placing a CD in the system, she winked towards her friend. No words were needed when they knew what the other was thinking. She needed to release some tension and the only way to do that was to dance.

_I'll take you home if you don't leave me at the front door (front door)  
Your body's cold, but girl we're getting so warm  
And I was thinking of ways that I could get inside (get inside)  
Tonight you're falling in love (let me go now)  
The feelings stirring me up (here we go now)_

Her moves were precise and expertly performed – Mileys eyes widened comically. She had never seen her friend dance that way. Through the moves Lilly expressed she knew her friend was keeping a few more secrets from her. She didn't really understand why the girl felt the need to keep secrets but she'd give her her time.

_Now if she does it like this, will you do it like that?  
__Now if she touches like this, will you touch her right back?  
__Now if she moves like this, will you move it like that?_

It wasn't everyday that she danced but she could just feel it in her veins. It helped her release some tension and it was her outlet when her pain got too much. Dance was usually, the only thing she understood and she loved that her body could move in such a way.

_Your lips tremble but your eyes are in a straight stare (straight stare)  
__You're on the bed but your clothes are laying right there  
__And I was thinking of places that I could hide  
__Tonight you're falling in love (let me go now)  
__The feelings stirring me up (here we go now)_

Miley released a laugh as Lilly pulled her to her feet – leading her in a completely insane two-step tango. She could hardly keep up with the girl before and their laughter filled the air around them. It had been too long since the two had spent any time together and she missed the crazy moments. She missed the moments when it was just them against the world – nothing came in-between them.

"I'm not gonna be distracted that easy Lillian!" she shouted, grinning at her huffing friend. The blonde girl just nodded her head with the beat; her body pulsing with the bass. She admired the way her friends' body moved fluidly – gravity seemed to have no affect on the movements.

"Can't hear ya Miles!" she laughed, widely shaking her head. She didn't want anyone else to know what had happened between her and Joe and she was just happy that Miley seemed to accept it. She could see the truth in her friends' eyes and she knew she wanted details but the other girl would wait. Nothing would be pushed between them – not again.

_Shake, shake, shake, shake, uh shake it  
__Shake, shake, shake, shake, uh shake it  
__Shake, shake, shake, shake, uh shake it  
__Shake, shake, shake, shake, uh shake it  
__Shake, shake, shake, shake, uh shake it_

The two girls failed to notice the opening door or the hustle of movement. The boys' eyes widened as they took in the site before them. The girls moved their heads widely, shaking their hips along the way. Pyjamas adorned their legs but their top – that's what got the boys' attentions. Mileys' was just a tight t-shirt, riding up slightly to reveal her toned stomach and Lilly s' body was just adorned with a simple, black sports bra.

Joe's breath hitched in his throat and he choked as Ryan whacked his back while grinning broadly – a twinkle in his eye. "You alright there Joeykins?" he smirked, winking towards the blushing boy. He knew all about their vow of purity and he knew just how hard it was to stay physically away from Lilly. She could taunt you until you couldn't breathe anymore. She was lethal.

"I...I'm fine," he squeaked, his eyes trailing hungrily over the barely dressed girl. He had never seen a sight so tempting and forbidden – he licked his lips in thought. He knew he had to wait, it was instilled into his skin but, she was making the vow insanely hard. His fingers itch to touch her and he wasn't sure just how controlled he could be. He needed to stay at a permanent distance away from her for awhile.

_I saw you dancing and I couldn't get you off my mind  
__(I could tell that you could tell that I was taking my time)  
__I was thinking of ways that you would stay and be mine  
__(You're body's shaking, turn me on, so I can turn out the lights)_

"Oh oh," Miley hummed, eyes widening as she saw the group huddled at the door. She laughed at Joes' frustrated expression but her gaze settled on the younger curly haired Jonas. His gaze was trained on her hips and she licked her lips in excitement. She could see the hunger burning beneath the gaze and she blushed slightly. Stepping towards the group, she left Lilly continue to let out some energy.

"See's you girls' have started a party without us," Kevin nodded, looking quizzically towards his two brothers. He could see Joes' immediate frustration at having to control himself around the others but, he couldn't really read Nick that good. The boy had his gaze trained on Miley but he couldn't tell for what reason.

"All Lilly," she blushed, wrapping her arms around her hips nervously. She suddenly felt bare under the three gazes that were trained on her – she raised an eyebrow at Joe. He was growling softly as he watched Lilly move; she giggled slightly at his expression. She could see he wanted to touch her but he wouldn't let himself - she could see the amount of self-control he was using.

"Miles!! Miley!! Mi...fuck," she blushed, quickly finding a long shirt to pull over head. Her face reddened as she saw Ryans subtle eye flick towards Joe – a small smile erupted on her face. She could see the hunger and she felt the butterflies in her stomach. Wringing the baggier shirt in her hand, she ducked her head in embarrassment.

"You...you...you...you...you...y-"

"Spit it out boy," Ryan admonished, slapping Joe upside the head. He laughed as a glare was quickly sent his way and just brushed off the look. He knew what dating Lilly was like and he was looking forward to seeing how long the boy lasted – it would be interesting.

"Ni...nice moves," Joe swallowed, nodding his head towards the two girls. He couldn't get the image of Lily barely clothed out of his mind – she was haunting him. He knew he needed to keep his self-control infront of his friends but he was slowly losing it. She was driving him insane and he just itched to touch her. He needed to feel her against him once again.

"Really nice," Nick mumbled, looking Miley up and down. He blushed as she raised an eyebrow at his perusal and quickly looked away. He couldn't believe he was just caught 'checking' her out but he had to admire her body. She was slim and delicate but she held a fire within her. He was eager to find out more about the southerner.

"Teenagers," Kevin mumbled, pulling Ryan out into the kitchen. They had decided previously to watch a dvd and just get to know each other alittle more before the boys' had to leave. He knew it would be hard on Joe but, he knew his brother understood. He'd allow them to have their time but when it was time to leave – they'd have to leave without question.

"You boys seem to have liked it alil' too well," Lilly smirked, walking up to stand beside Miley. She wiped her chin slightly and nudged Miley as the boys' quickly wiped their mouths – the two friends erupting in laughter. She didn't realise she had this affect on Joe and she actually kind of liked it. She loved to have the power over him.

"Pft...pft...pft, whatever Lillikins...we just...we're just hungry! Yeah...hungry," Nick mumbled, looking towards his older brother for help. He shook his head as Joes' gaze was still trained on Lilly – he could tell it was taking all of Joes' concentration to just not take the girl before them. He laughed slightly at the predicament of his brother.

"Is he okay?" Miley asked, peering the elder boy over. His face was turning slightly red and he had an animalistic look in his eyes. She stepped back slightly and pushed Lilly forward – knowing that she would most likely be the only one to know what the matter was. She couldn't read Joe as his brothers' or Lilly could and she feared him at the moment. He was creeping her out.

"We should probably leave them alone," Nick whispered, leaning quite close to her. His hand trailed down her arm and grabbed her hand – pulling her behind him. He'd give his brother a few minutes to compose himself before they would watch a movie. He needed to talk to Miley anyway.

"You okay Joe?" Lilly questioned, placing a tender hand on his shoulder. Her eyes widened as he sucked in a deep breath and she quickly removed her hand. She had never seen the look in his eyes before – it was all hunger and lust. His posture was tense and his hands were clenched; she tilted her head in curiosity. "Joseph?"

"Fuck it," he growled, grabbing the back of her neck and pulling her into a kiss. Quickly, he spun their bodies around, ran his hand along her side until her got to her upper thigh – he lifted her leg up as he pushed her against the door. His body moulded to hers as she widened her eyes at the contact she made with the door; moaning at his exploring hands.

Gripping his neck tightly, she lifted herself up – wrapping her legs around his waist tightly. She gasped as he leant in further, pressing their bodies tightly together and his hands brushing the t-shirt up abit. Her hands raked through his hair as his lips detached themselves from hers and trailed along her jaw. She bit in her lip to suppress the moan and she just closed her – enjoying the passion he was showing her.

Shifting his hands to her hips, he pushes her against the door roughly – gripping her hips so tightly he was sure he was leaving bruises. Biting her bottom lip gently; he pulls away, leaning his forehead against hers. "Sorry...you just...drive me insane," he breathed, placing a short kiss onto her lips. He couldn't stop touching her and he enjoyed her being in his arms. Her legs were still wrapped tightly around his waist and her hands in his hair – he stepped even closer to the girl.

"I like you like this," she grinned, trailing a finger along his chest. She loved that he showed that amount of passion – she thrived off of it. She couldn't help that she was attracted to passion but, for the first time, she felt him release a bit of tension. She loved that he had taken control for once and he left her breathless. She bit her lip as he trailed a hand along her cheek, down her neck and stopping just at the crevice between her breasts – her body hummed from his touch.

"We'll work on it luv," he murmured, unwrapping her legs and stepping back. He knew his brothers' would be back any minute and he didn't want them to see him like that. The girl had him wrapped around her fingers and he was sure she didn't know it – he'd do anything for just a touch.

"Calm now?" she asked, biting her lip to keep in a giggle. She'd have to tease him alittle bit more to see how far she could push the physical torture – it was interesting to see how much control he had. She laughed as he pulled her against him, settling her into his side. She wondered how long his possessive side would last for; she kind of liked it.

"Joe! Let the girl go so we can actually have _friend_ time rather than sexual time," Ryan stated, walking past the two and shrugging off both of their glares. He ruffled Lillys' hair before munching on a piece of popcorn that was in the bowl he was carrying. He sent a wink towards Miley as she entered from the opposite side of the room – her hand entwined with Nicks.

"Jealous much Ryan?" Miley raised an eyebrow at the older boy, sitting beside Nick infront of the couch. She laughed as Lilly high-fived her; being pulled by Joe on the couch. She was already so close to the boys' around her – she loved that they were all so protective of Lilly.

"Shut up," he snapped playfully, sinking into the couch beside Joe and Lilly. His eyes shifted towards Lilly, squished in between them – she grabbed both of their hands. He raised an eyebrow at her show of affection and she just shrugged in response. He squeezed her hand in response but quickly dropped it – he could feel Joe was uncomfortable about it.

"What are we watchin?" Joe questioned, looking towards Kevin. He stifled the growl when Ryan squeezed Lillys' hand and turned away from it. He knew that Lilly had a certain affection for Ryan, but he was still alittle unsure how far the affection went. He didn't wasn't to lose her – he couldn't; not when he had already almost lost her.

"Disturbia," Kevin muttered, flicking the dvd in and turning the tv. He sent a knowing look towards Nick as he saw the boy grip Mileys hand tightly – he'd have to ask the boy later.

* * *

**So here's another chapter...hopefully you all like it? SADLY!! This fic is coming to an end...quite soon actually :(:( Now...I have a question for you all - do you want a sequel?? Please say if you want one in the reviews (if you do one :):))**

**I hope you are all still enjoying this fic! READ AND REVIEW!! PLZ!!**

**Thankyou **

**:)**


	16. SelfControl Part2

**_Hello!!_**

**_First of all, I just want to apologise for the lateness of the chapters...but it's holidays at the moment so hopefully they'll be up alot faster!! Yay!! _**

**_Anyway...thankyou to all of you that have reviewed and told me what you think - please keep continuing that!! It helps when I'm thinking of stuff to put into the chapters. :)_**

**_Thanks so much!!_**

* * *

"_You wanted to talk to me?" Miley asked, looking at the boy. Her head kept turning back to try to catch a glimpse of her friend but the door was blocking the way. Turning her head back around – she gazed at the boy before her. He was shifting from one foot to another and she was slightly confused as to why._

"_Yeah...about that...you see...I just wanted...I was wondering...I u-"_

"_Sweet nibblets boy...spit it out," Miley sighed, smiling at the stuttering boy. She knew he was nervous and she just wanted to calm his nerves. He was Nick Jonas – she was supposed to be the nervous one. Majority of the female population in the world were attracted to the boy and she was having a hard time believing she was standing infront of him._

"_Argh," he growled, stepping forward and reaching out to grasp her neck. Sliding his other to her hip – he pulled her against him. He watched as her eyes widened in surprise at his movements; his thumb began to rub circles along her neck. Taking a breath, he leant forward and placed a soft kiss upon her lips. He shivered slightly as her arms wrapped themselves around his neck – lifting her upper body and in the process, pushing herself closer to him. _

_She let out a small moan as the hand on her hip gripped her tighter; skin on skin contact. She was beginning to see Lillys' attraction to the physical aspects of a relationship with the kiss she was sharing. His hands upon her were exhilarating and she could feel her emotions going haywire. _

"_You're pretty," he blushed, running his fingertips over her cheek. His breathing was ragged but his eyes were bright with truth. He didn't mean to kiss her right on the spot but, she was beautiful. He was attracted to her and he had witness Joe fall so fast that he knew it was possible – he was falling quite hard for the girl infront of him and he had just met her. He hoped that what they had was real._

"_Thankyou..." she whispered, leaning her forehead against his. She didn't know what had possessed him to kiss her but she was thankful to it. She watched as he gained his breathing back and she smiled as he held his body close to hers. She didn't want their closeness to end but she knew that he would pull away soon. The dvd would need to be watched and he had a plane to catch._

* * *

"Well...I think maybe you should stop it?" Ryan asked, looking towards the two couples in the room and Kevin. He knew Lilly was quite scared of horror movies but he wasn't aware that that fear had grown – she was currently shivering in Joes' lap while the poor boy whispered nonsense in her ears. Miley wasn't doing much better either.

"I didn't realise that they were so...like that," Kevin murmured, quickly flicking off the tv. He was slightly worried about the two girls' but he knew his brothers' would have it sorted – they seemed to have a knack for it. He could see the slight hesitation in Nicks' eyes but the pride their also; he knew his brother would be okay.

"Tis' okay...I'm fine," Lilly smiled shyly, blushing at her fear. She slowly pulled her head away from Joes' chest but made no move to move off of him – she was still scared. The movie wasn't the best to watch when the air was thick but she could see the funny moments. Flicking her gaze towards Miley – she raised a brow at the girl. Her friends' position was quite similar to her own.

"Kinda like you here anyway," Joe muttered, burying his face into her neck. He tightened his grip around her waist as she let out a girlish giggle. He loved that she was comfortable in his arms infront of his brothers – he loved her. He couldn't deny the girl a thing and he was enjoying the moment. He fretted tomorrow and begged time to stop.

"Alright lover boy..." Nick murmured, earning a glare from his older brother. He just shrugged innocently before looking down at the girl in his arms – he really did like her. There was just something about Miley that he was attracted too and he was learning from Joe; you couldn't just let things pass you by. He couldn't sit back and let her walk away – he needed to talk to her.

"Jealous fro'bro?" Lilly smirked, running a hand through Joes' hair. She leant into him, eyeing her two friends before her – something was going on between them and she wanted to find out. She ignored the prospect of tomorrow and just hoped time would stop – just this once. She blushed lightly as Joe mumbled 'I love you' into her neck; placing a tender kiss there to seal it. She really did love him and she was happy that she was able to say so – she was finally letting go.

"Not really," he shrugged, grinning broadly towards Lilly. His fingers wrapped tighter around Mileys' hand and he pulled her closer to him. He knew there were things that were still unsaid between them but he'd leave it – time would work things out between them.

"Hello...yes he's here...it's the truth calling, wants to know why you don't tell it?" Ryan laughed, holding out his cell-phone. He could see the spark of jealousy in the younger boys' eyes and he enjoyed poking fun at his friends – it was a halt in time. He was able to push back the clock to enjoy the minutes that were ahead of him. He didn't want to leave and he could feel the emotion hanging in the air.

"That was...lame," Kevin smirked, throwing a pillow towards Ryans' head. He ducked his own head as another pillow flew his way straight after – Kevin sent a glare towards the blonde girl. He knew what the others were trying to do and he commended them for it; they were trying to fight time. They all still had quite awhile but he knew the time would fly and soon they'd be leaving. He feared the goodbyes.

"I thought it was brilliant," Ryan grinned, slinging an arm around Lillys' shoulder. He didn't know when she had slid off of Joes' lap but he was just thankful that she had – it would be really awkward if she was still on there. He ignored Joes' grunt of disapproval as he pulled the smaller girl closer to him. Joe wasn't the only one that would be leaving her – he would too. He would miss the small blonde girl in his arms.

"We all can't be as brilliant as you Rye," Nick remarked, rolling his eyes playfully – laughing slightly at Joes' disgruntled expression. He knew the boy had no reason to be jealous of Lillys' affection for Ryan but he knew the other boy was just playing it up alittle bit; just to see how far he could push him. It was fun to watch but he just hoped that neither of them took it too far.

"Many do wish..." he winked, popping to collar of his shirt dramatically. He smiled as the rest of the room erupted in laughter and he snuggle deeper into the couch. He had hoped that the group were going to go out but he knew the reason they didn't – there were too many temptations for Lilly. No one wanted a repeat of the night before and they weren't willing to risk it.

"Now that we've established just how retarded Ryan is...shall we figure out something to do?" Joe questioned, ruffling the professional skaters hair. He stamped down the jealousy at the closeness of Lilly and Ryan and tried to ignore it. He knew that they were still trying to come to terms with whatever it was that was going on between them and he was fine with it. She did things physically – she didn't expose emotions at first. He had learnt that slowly.

"How 'bout a game of pool?" Miley asked, raising her hand as if in class. She blushed slightly as Nick slowly pulled her hand down and smirked knowingly at her – she ducked her head in embarrassment. The technique had been so engrained into her physical movements that she always just seemed to do it automatically – the same with Lilly and Oliver.

"You are on Ms. Stewart," Lilly smiled, jumping up from under Ryans' arm and walking through to the next room. She had explored the suite when she was first pulled into the room and knew of her friends' 'luxuries.' She knew 'Hannah' didn't usually go for the extreme but Miley needed a break and she enjoyed some luxuries in life – Lilly just enjoyed wreaking the benefits.

"Wait for me!" Joe called, running after the girl. He knew he was being silly but he didn't really want to let her out of his sight – she was too important to him. Things had changed between them after the night before and he was afraid she'd leave any second. He had seen the damage her past could have and he didn't want to be a part of that world; he just hoped Lilly could stay away from the danger. He knew she thrived off of danger and passion and he was willing to bet that she was aching for it again. They needed to distract her from the pain and maybe, just maybe, help her heal.

* * *

"I don't think these teams end up being very fair," Joe pouted, watching as the boy sunk another ball in the socket. They had already played one game and Lilly alone, had beaten the whole Jonas trio – she was amazing. He knew he wasn't bad at the game but she obviously practiced; another secret she had hidden from him. He was beginning to wonder just what he knew about the mysterious Lillian Truscott.

"You chose them Joe," Miley shrugged, grinning widely as Ryan just sunk the ball. It was 2 – 0 to the others in the room and she rolled her eyes at Joes' pouting. She had a feeling that Joe hated to be left in the dark about stuff and he especially hated losing when he thought he was good at it. She thanked god that Lilly was able to find a way to distract the boy from complaining – there only so much she could handle before saying something.

"Thought you were good at this babe?" Lilly mocked, leaning on her pool cue lightly. She licked her lips as Joes' gaze raked over her form – she knew what she looked like. She could gain any mans' attention when she really wanted too and she was using that to her advantage – she hated to lose. There was no way she'd let her team lose just for the sake of being 'nice.' She hated her competitive streak but due to the amount of sports she played – it couldn't be helped.

"Obviously the Jonas trio need alil' more practice Sparks," Ryan laughed, slinging an arm around the girls' shoulders. He raised his eyebrows as Joe sent him a deadly look before breaking the triangle – three balls going in. Ryan immediately took his hands from Lilly and laid them at his side; he really didn't want to offend his new friends. Sometimes they went alittle far with the touching but it didn't go any further than that – the boy had nothing to worry about.

"Still got a few secrets..." Nick smirked, the meaning hidden within his looks. His gaze flickered between Lilly and Joe and he knew that something was wrong with his brother. Joe only got good at pool when something was angering the boy. He knew the only thing that could disrupt his brother so much was Lilly – she seemed to dictate his every move when it came to emotions. He knew that his brother had nothing to worry about but it was easier from an outside perspective; if he was in Joes' position, maybe he would think differently.

"What's wrong with him?" Miley whispered into Kevins' ear – her eyes wide with worry. She saw Joe immediately stiffen and the tension the boys' shoulders held. She had never seen him so serious before and she was worried. The only other time he lost his carefree nature was when Lilly was in trouble but she was perfectly fine – she couldn't understand it at all.

"Joes' just alil' bit jealous of the closeness with Rye and Lils...He's scared he'll lose her," Kevin muttered out of the corner of his mouth – his gaze trained on his brother as he continued to sink the balls. He knew Joe was annoyed; it was in his posture. Joes' shoulders only stiffened when something was bothering him or he was on alert. Turning his gaze to Lilly, she noticed the worry in her eyes and Kevin knew that Joe would be set right soon.

"Joe...can I talk to you for a second?" Lilly asked, biting her lip gently. She was nervous – she only knew Joe got like how he was when there was something. Obviously the boy didn't want to share infront of the friends but hopefully he'd let her in. She knew there were things that needed to be worked out – especially concerning Ryan – but, she wanted everything to be fine on their last night in Malibu. She didn't want to be fighting before she had to say goodbye; knowing her it would get out of control and she wouldn't be talking to him for the rest of the night. She didn't want to leave things on a sour note.

"I'm kinda busy at the moment Lils," Joe murmured, his eye trained on the many balls on the green table. He felt her shock at his denial ripple through the air but he needed to sort some things out by himself first. He had to get used to her closeness with Ryan or else he'd lose her – he knew it. He was being unfair to their friendship if he asked her to cease the contact and he couldn't deny her anything – if she wanted to be with Ryan he'd step back. Sometimes he just wished that she'd say just what it was exactly that was going through her mind – he hated second-guessing himself.

"Okay..." she whispered, her gaze dropping. Joe had never been so cold towards her before and she wasn't used to it at all. She didn't know what she had done wrong but she needed to fix it. He couldn't be mad at her or else nothing would seem right again. She could feel the world around her spinning and she collapsed into the chair behind her. She had to shake of the urge to go back again and focus on the future. She had a lot going for her and she needed to focus on that.

"I mean...uh...let's go," he stuttered, lowering his cue when he caught a sight of her posture. He didn't realise what he was doing but his defences were going up. It wasn't that he was losing interest – there was no way he could; he just didn't understand. There were too many secrets between them and he needed to fix it. He couldn't handle the fact that Ryan knew her better than him and it was slowly getting under his skin.

"Someones' in trouble..." Miley commented; smirking as the two walked out and into the guest room. Her head rolled onto Nicks shoulder as he came to stand beside her – she ignored the looks of the rest of the room. She knew if they were quite they could hear what Joe and Lilly were saying but she just didn't know if she wanted to pry into their lives. Lilly was her best-friend but there were secrets between them. Maybe some things needed to be kept secret to save some strife.

"Listen?" Ryan smirked, looking towards the other three. He really wanted to know what Lilly would say to Joe and what Joe would ask – he could see that the boy was bursting with questions. He knew that Joe was alittle unhinged with their closeness but he knew that Lilly would say something in her own time. You couldn't force the girl to tell you anything.

"Hell yeah," Kevin nodded, running towards the closed door. He could feel the others' at his heels and he picked up the pace. He really wanted to get to know Lilly alot better and he knew that she had some explaining to do. Joe was tense and he knew that his brother wanted answer – hopefully he would be able to get them.

* * *

"What's the matter with you?" she asked, leaning against the wall behind her. She watched as he paced – his posture still tense and stiff. She didn't know what had bought on his new demeanour but she needed to change it. She didn't want him to leave with the image burned into her memory; she didn't want to remember him being the way he was.

"You're keeping secrets from me again," he stated, stopping his pacing and turning to fully face her. He knew he couldn't force her to tell him all that he wanted to know but he thought he atleast deserved to know the truth about her relationship with Ryan. He knew that it wasn't a 'conventional' relationship but there was still something between them and he wanted to know what that 'something' was. He couldn't share her – not with the feelings he had for her.

"Joe...there are some things you're just gonna have to accept I can't tell you...atleast not now," she sighed, running a hand through her hair. She knew that it would come up sooner or later – her secrets but she just wished it wasn't now. She wanted him to leave on a good note but he wouldn't when she would deny him her knowledge. She couldn't tell him what he wanted to hear.

"I just...seeing you two together Lilly...you've gotta know how much that hurts..." he whispered, gazing sadly at her. He knew she understood where he was coming from but she was reluctant to reveal anything more than she already had. He couldn't blame her – her secrets had caused her enough trouble already but, he needed to know. His heart couldn't take anymore of her teasing and he wasn't willing to sit back anymore.

"Seeing who? I don't understand..." she trailed off, her head tilted to the side. She was confused as to what he was talking about. At first she thought he was upset that she was still keeping things from him but now she wasn't so sure. There was something in his eyes that scared her and she just wanted to know what he was thinking. She needed to get inside of his head.

"You and Ryan...I don't understand..." he murmured, dropping his gaze. He didn't need to see the incredulous look in her eyes to know he was being silly but, he needed to know. Their little touches were making him insane and he was just waiting for when she'd leave him for Ryan. He couldn't let her go, not just yet.

"Me and Ryan...we're...we're long over Joe – there's nothing there anymore..." she stated, dipping her head to catch his gaze. Her eyes widened as she saw the pain in his gaze – maybe she had been too close with Ryan. She didn't realise it was hurting the boy before her; she thought that it was just random touches. Obviously she didn't realise just how much Joe was attracted to her.

"That's hard to see," he retorted, turning away from her eyes. He didn't want to get drawn in – not when he wanted to find out the truth. He needed to know if she'd go back to Ryan just so he couldn't know. It was hurting him – the way she touched him, the way she leant on him for support. He was there for that now; she could lean on him instead of Ryan.

"Joe...yes, there used to be something between me and Ryan and maybe...maybe it isn't _exactly_ finished but...when I look to the future – it's not him I see," she said, gripping his chin and tilting it to catch her eye. She wanted him to understand that she didn't want Ryan like that – not anymore. All her dreams were in the boy infront of her and she needed him to see that. She needed him to want to be the one beside her – she needed him to fight for her. He was willing to do it before, so she needed him to do it again.

"Where do you wanna be then?" he asked, his gaze widening at her touch. She still sent electric shocks through his system and he didn't want that to end. He couldn't handle whatever she was about to say but he knew he had to listen. He needed to know if they had a future because if they didn't – he'd have to end it there. He couldn't be second best in a relationship.

"I wanna be with you..." she whispered – the truth echoing throughout the room. She didn't like to admit a weakness and she knew that love was a weakness but it was also a strength. The loss in her life had taught her that and she knew she couldn't let Joe go; not when she was completely in love with him.

"Lilly..." he sighed, leaning his forehead against hers. He breathed in her scent as she bit her lip nervously and he knew he had to say something more. He just couldn't express just how much he felt for the girl before him and he didn't want to ruin it. She was a wonder to him and he just wanted to hold her close to him and never let go. "I can't...I won't be second best..." he murmured, running a hand through her blonde hair. His eyes were closed as he felt her swallow – her nervousness invading his own body. He didn't want to leave her but he deserved to be more than second; he deserved all of her. If he couldn't have that then he'd walk away.

"I love _you_ Joe...Ryan...there will always be something there but...I don't see him in the future. All I see is you...all I _want_ is you..." she choked – tears blocking her voice. Her hand trailed along his face as he leant into the touch. She bit her lip as she watched her hand; his eyes were still closed as she memorized his face. She couldn't lose him – she felt too much for him. He had somehow manoeuvred his way into her heart and she couldn't let him go. She'd stop seeing Ryan if he wanted but she knew that that would be hard as well – Ryan was as much a part of her as her past. She wanted him with her in the future but she _needed_ Joe beside her.

"All I want is you..." he echoed her words quietly – his eyes opening slowly. He staggered slightly at the truth in her gaze; she wasn't holding anything back this time. She wasn't trying to hide herself. She was giving it all to him and he stumbled slightly at her truth. Sliding a tender hand across her check – he wiped away a stray tear. She didn't need to cry; he hated to see her cry.

"Joe..." she sighed, leaning desperately into his touch. She could barely read his eyes and it scared her. The boy was always talking with his looks and she loved that about him. She didn't want him to turn away but she'd understand if he did. She couldn't lose him. Her eyes clouded with tears as he wiped away her first stray – she closed her eyes tightly. She didn't want to watch him turn away.

"Look at me," he whispered, running a thumb over her eyelid. He needed to see her eyes as she looked at him. He bit his own lip in nervousness – wondering if she'd open her eyes. He knew it was childish of her but he knew that he also did that; close your eyes and you won't see them walk away. His little brother did it often aswell.

He watched in anticipation as she slowly opened her gaze – her own eyes widening in shock. It was all in his eyes – the truth. "I love _you _Lillian Truscott...nothing can change that," he smiled slightly, watching as she finally understood. It wasn't anyone else for him – it was her and only her. He couldn't walk away, he couldn't turn his back – not when she stood before him with her heart. He loved her for her bravery and he knew that he'd find out her secrets along the journey.

"My...my secrets?" she questioned, breathing deep. She knew there were things that he couldn't know, not yet anyway, and she was just wondering if he was okay with that. He needed to understand that she wanted to tell him but she was just scared. As time moved on, she'd tell him but she couldn't, not now. She wanted to stay in the unknown with him, when things were revealed, feelings changed.

"I'll just need to learn alil' more self-control," he joked, a smile tugging at his lips. He needed to lighten the air – it was too thick. Enough had been expressed tonight and he knew where he stood with the girl. He understood just how much touch meant to her and he knew that he'd have to get used to it. He couldn't rage in jealously when she used it to feel; it was her way of expressing how she felt. He couldn't fault her for that.

"I love you," she smiled, running a hand along his cheek. She leaned closer, his arms sliding around her waist. She loved that it all felt so natural – as if she was supposed to be there. She was supposed to be in his arms and wrapped around him; she needed him.

"I l-" she cut off his reply as she took his lips in hers. The kiss wasn't fiery at all – it was filled with a promise. Sliding her arms around his neck, she tilted her head, altering the kiss slightly. She needed him to understand that she doesn't see anyone else when he's right there. All she see's is him and all she wanted is him. Nothing else matters when he's holding her like he is.

His eyes widened slightly at the kiss – it was one they had never shared before. Gripping her hips tightly, he pulled her just alittle bit closer; promising to protect her. She didn't need to worry when she was in his arms. He could feel her love through the kiss and he replied in kind. One hand glided up her body, gently grazing her cheek – he gripped her chin tightly. Pushing her away slowly, he waited for her eyes to open. He needed to say it or else he'd go insane. He knew she enjoyed touch but sometimes words needed to be said aswell. "All I see is you as well...all I want is you..."

* * *

**_Okay...here's another chapter... :) Hopefully you guys like it?? _**

**_So, from the reviews I've decided to post a sequeal...it'll be up quite soon because this story has only one or two chapters left :(:(:( It's really sad, cause I really like this story...I'll either post a sequel or carry the story on?? I dunno...lol_**

**_PLZ! READ AND REVIEW!! I love to hear what you guys are thinking of the story...it helps keep the writers block away lol _**

**_Thanks so much!!_**

**_:)_**


	17. Let Me Break

**_Okay...so, I dunno if this should be the last chapter or if I should just carry it on and not do a sequel?? I dunno...what do you all think??_**

**_Anyways!! Thankyou all so much for the reviews you've all been doing...it's helped put this chapter up faster than usual lols_**

**_Thankyou!! Please Read and Review!! Please, please, please :):)_**

**_Thanks _**

* * *

"You know...you really should wake him," she voiced, looking down at the sleeping boy. He was clutching the pillow tightly and snoring softly. The girl that was previously in his arms had left for a shower and he had grasped the pillow in longing. She giggled at his apparent attachment to her best-friend and sighed at the hurt his leaving would cause.

"Where's the fun in that Miles?" Kevin grinned, stepping alittle bit closer to his sleeping brother. He knew it was slightly cruel of them to prolong the inevitable but, it was payback time.

"You know how long it takes for him in the bathroom Kev...we'll be late for our flight," Nick sighed, running a tired hand through his hair. He wrapped his arm around Mileys' shoulders before turning back to watch the show.

"Ruin the fun," Ryan pouted, glaring playfully at the couple. He smirked slightly at the familiarity between the two – obviously there was something they were hiding from them. Flicking his gaze back to the sleeping boy and his brother carrying the bucket; he rubbed his hands excitedly.

"Are you...are you okay?" Miley asked, stifling her laugh at his posture. He was giddily jumping from one foot to another, rubbing his hands together and grinning maniacally. She was reminded slightly of how Joe is and she could see the similarities between the two boys – obvious Lillys' eyes could see it too. She knew things were far from sorted between all three of them but she hoped that today was just about the future.

"He's just excited," Lilly filled in, exciting the bathroom. She laughed loudly as she watched Joe shoot up – water dripping from his body. She watched as he glared at his oldest brother, her laughter stifled as she tried to hide her presence.

"That was so not funny," Joe glared, crossing his arms indignantly. He hated being woken up with the bucket of water – his brothers always did it.

"Maybe you wanna shower?" Nick suggested, looking his brother up and down. He let the smile overtake his face as his brothers' eyes widened dramatically – laughing as he sprinted towards the bathroom. Joe was always one to care about his appearance; particularly his hair.

"Strange, strange boy," Miley mumbled, shaking her head with laughter. Her eyes darted to Lilly and she couldn't help but smirk at the girls' face. She was trying to hide her sadness at everyone leaving and putting on a fake smile – she hated when her friends 'fake' smiled. It wasn't real and she loved real.

* * *

Her eyes darted around the area – trying to manoeuvre through all the people. She bit her lip as she could hair the screams of fans echoing throughout the large building; the pitch stinging her ears. Looking down, she felt Joe pull on her hand gently, pulling her closer to his body. They hadn't spoken – not since last night and she knew it would be hard. She wasn't sure what she would do but she had Miley and Oliver with her; atleast for alittle while.

"You okay Sparks?" Ryan whispered into her ear, leaning over her shoulder. He had seen her slumped stance and he knew something was wrong. It wasn't just that they were leaving; there was something else. He knew she didn't do well in crowds but, she always held her composure. Something was different about her and he needed to find out what was wrong.

"I'm fine," she grumbled, closing her eyes and letting Joe lead her to wherever they were going. The amount of people around her was getting to her slightly and she just needed time to breathe. She could feel constant hand in hers and she sent a faint smile towards Joe in thanks – he didn't get why she was so pale but he was trying.

"No you're not...you're coming with me," he growled, ripping her hand away from Joes' and pulling her through the crowd surrounding them. He heard the other boys' protests but continuously ignored them – he needed some time with Lilly. They were best-friends and he could see that something was troubling her.

"Ryan!" Lilly screeched, looking back at Joe. He was going to come after them; she could see it in his gaze but she just sent a small smile in response. She knew Ryan needed to talk to her and he was the only one that understood slightly how she felt. She could feel her breath coming in gasps but she calmed herself immediately – it wasn't time to hyperventilate.

"Explain," he demanded, pulling her to sit next to them. His gaze drifted towards the large crowd in the middle of the airport and he knew he had to hurry it along. The boys' would wait forever for Lilly but the fans wouldn't be able to be held back for long – he knew all about that.

"There's nothing to explain Ryan," she shrugged, leaning back into the chair. She breathed deeply as she felt Joes' eyes on her – she didn't look. He knew he was just curious as to what they were talking about but he said he would trust her with Ryan. She made sure he knew where her attentions lied. He needed to concentrate on the fans around him.

"Sparks...I know you..." he stated, placing a fallen piece of hair behind her ear. He knew he was probably stepping over his boundaries but he knew Lilly relied on touch to judge people. He only wanted to help and he was about to leave – he had no other time to ask. He could see something was troubling her and he couldn't help with it if she didn't tell him.

"You're all leaving..." she choked, crumbling into his arms. She didn't mean to break – she didn't want to break infront of everyone. She didn't want cameras in her face at the moment. She remembered what it was like at her fathers' funeral – the cameras were everywhere. She was blinded by the flashing lights – she didn't want that again.

"Sparks..." he sighed, settling her against his chest. He knew Joe would be over here any minute – he had already seen it in the boys' eyes. He couldn't let Joe and Lilly be blinded by the lights; he needed to get her to a more private area. Picking her up gently, he tightened his hold and walked past the four behind the guard of body-guards. He locked eyes with Joe silently and watched as the boy hesitantly nodded in understanding. Joe couldn't show affection while in the media eye – it wouldn't bode well for him or Lilly.

"I'm so...sorry," she mumbled, stumbling out of his arms. She settled herself against the wall – her arms wrapping themselves around her waist. She needed to just take a breath; she needed to regain her legs. Everything was moving so fast against and she just needed it to stop. She needed everything to be fine and slow again. She just needed time to stop.

"You've got nothing to apologise for Sparks..." he retorted, trailing a hand through her hair. He ignored her flinch at the physical contact. He knew it wasn't him that she was flinching away from but it was the emotions that were inside of her. She couldn't control her heart just as everyone else seemed to – it was too damaged. She needed to re-learn how to use it and Joe was helping, he was, but there were some things that the boy just didn't get...yet.

"It's supposed to be happy...you're all goin' on tour...it's a happy time," she smiled helplessly, turning away from his searching gaze. She knew the others had entered the room silently and she locked gazes with every one of them – her eyes lingering on Joe. She didn't think it would hurt as much as she was hurting now but she was wrong. She was going to miss them; alot.

"We're also leaving you behind Sparks...that's not something to be happy about," Ryan murmured, pulling the girl into his chest. He knew the others were being silent to let them have their goodbye and he was thankful for that. He'd miss the girl in his arms alot more than she'd ever know. He knew he had hurt her but, slowly, things were mending and he was thankful for that. He knew he wasn't completely forgiven but he was thankful that she let him touch her. It meant that he was on the verge of forgiveness.

She wrapped her arms around his waist and clung tightly – she couldn't say anything. There were no words to express how much Ryan meant to her but she knew he could feel it in her touch. There was still something lingering between them; she could feel it but her heart lied with Joe. So many things could've been said but she didn't have the words. Her world was slowly starting to spin again.

"You know I'm just a phone call away Sparks," he whispered into her ear, pulling her tighter against him. He was just starting to remember her touch and he was leaving again. He could feel the tears clogging his throat and he knew that he'd have to let go soon. He was breaking slowly and he knew that it wouldn't help Lilly if he was emotional aswell.

Pulling away slowly, she sent a small sad smile towards the boy – blushing slightly as he wiped away her tears. She knew that it was slightly intimate but that was how they were; there weren't any boundaries between them. She just hoped Joe understood that alot more than other people did. "Ryan...thankyou..." she smiled, running a tired hand along his cheek. She wanted to thank him for being there this time – for pulling her back again. It wasn't Joe that had done it, it was Ryan – he was still teaching her stuff even though he wasn't there. Just him coming back was enough to put her world into a tail-spin and him sticking around helped it to right itself.

"Anything for you Sparks," he murmured, grazing her cheek lightly before stepping away. The air was getting too thick around her and he couldn't breathe. She took his breath away more than once and her eyes were what always got him. He could read her like a book and he nodded in acknowledgement. Things were right between them – finally. He was forgiven and he knew that she still needed him; wanted him in the future.

"Well, well, well Miss Lillian Truscott...it is time for our farewells," Kevin spoke up, grinning widely at the girl. He didn't want her memory to be marred by tears – he wanted to see her smile. She was important to all the brothers – anyone could see that. They all looked to make sure she was still there and safe and he intended to hold onto her for the rest of their lives.

"It appears so..." she nods solemnly, a grin encompassing her face. She pulled back the tears as the elder boy wrapped his arms around her; smothering her in a bear hug. She knew what he was doing and she was grateful for it – she didn't want them to leave on a sour note. She hated goodbyes and she knew that she wouldn't see them for sometime; she wasn't sure what to make of that.

"It'll be fine precious," he mumbled against the top of her head – squeezing her alittle bit tighter. He knew that she was on the verge of breaking; he could see it in her eyes and he just wanted her to smile. He loved when she smiled and he was thrilled to see that she still was. He was nervous when Joe would say goodbye because he knew the boy was emotional. No one would be able to get a word out of him for a couple of days.

"Miss you..." she whispered, shivering slightly as he pulled away. She bit her lip as he stepped back, placing a hand on Joes' shoulder – restraining the boy from running to her. She knew what they were doing – they were going to let them have a moment but everyone else wanted to say goodbye first. She smiled shyly as Nick stepped up before her; Miley having to push him forward alittle.

"You're damn precious to him you know that?" he asked, tilting his head slightly to finally get a good look at the blonde. He could see Joes' attraction towards her because she was beautiful but he knew there was something else. There was something about the blonde that had his brother all up in knots and he wanted to find it out.

"He's damn precious to me too," she responded, raising an eyebrow at his questioning gaze. She knew he was just being the 'protective' brother but she wanted him to like her. She knew that his attraction to Miley would mean that they would have various amounts of contact and she hoped that she passed his perusal. Joe was precious to her and she knew that if one of his brothers' disapproved then things would get awkward.

"You love him," he stated, his eyes widening as he caught the emotion in her eyes. It wasn't everyday that a girl fell inlove with Joe _for_ Joe. He knew that the girl before him didn't need the fame or money – he still didn't really know who her father was but he knew she was used to the 'downside' of fame. Things that were private needed to be kept private or else the world would be watching. He knew she understood the faults of fame.

"Y...yes," she stumbled, biting her lip gently. She hated to admit her emotions but she knew Nick wanted a straight answer. She still wasn't used to saying 'I love you' and admitting it but the boy was pushing her. He needed to stop or else things would begin to unravel and she didn't want to – not with them right there. She needed to step back from it all but she couldn't with them all infront of her.

"I'll miss you..." he grinned, wrapping the girl up in his arms. He didn't mean to scare her but he had to make sure she was okay. He needed to keep his brothers safe and he knew Joes' heart would be with her. She may have some troubles but she was inlove with Joe – completely devoted. He knew there were some slight problems between the two but they were working through them.

"Thankyou..." she whispered, smiling as the boy wrapped her up in his arms. She knew that it was in acceptance of her in their lives and she knew he wouldn't let go even if something happened. They were already slowly becoming best-friends and she knew she'd miss him alot more than she probably realised. He was the quiet, sensitive one and he truly lived up to his nickname. She would miss him alot.

"Nothing to thank me for Lillian...always gonna be here for you," he smiled, grazing her cheek lightly. He watched as she smiled in return and ducked her head blushing – she really was beautiful. He could feel Joes' impatience and he knew time was running short. Their goodbye would be emotional but he knew his brother would do it; things would work out.

"Miss you," she mumbled, launching in his arms again. She knew she didn't know him that well but he was just so sweet and kind that she would miss him. Things were still to be shared between them but she felt him as close to her heart as Ryan and Miley. They were best-friends and she knew that would never change. He would always be in his heart – along with the rest of his brothers.

"Can I have a turn now??" Joe whined playfully, stamping the jealousy he felt when Lilly launched herself into his brothers arms. He knew he had to trust in her feelings for him and he did – it was just sometimes, he needed to touch her. He needed to make sure she was really there with him and it wasn't a dream.

"It's alittle thing called patience Joe...maybe you should learn it," Nick muttered, pouting playfully as Lilly slapped him on the chest. He knew everything would be fine in the end – they'd work it out. He'd give her a call later on to find out how she was doing and to make sure she was alright. He didn't want another repeat of a couple of nights ago. He had seen the affect it had on his brother and he knew he continued to have nightmares about it. He never wanted to see anyone like that again – especially not Lilly.

"Just get on the plane Nicholas," Joe mumbled, pushing the younger boy towards the rest that were waiting by the gate. He loved that they were in their own private room – having a private jet did have its perks. His gaze flickered towards the group before turning back to the small blonde infront of him. He couldn't bring himself to walk away just yet. "How are ya doin?"

"Gettin' there," she nodded, leaning against the wall behind her. She had a feeling as to what he was doing and she knew that, if she was in his position, she'd do the same. She wanted time to stop and rewind – she wanted to go back to when she had first met him. Things were easy then and they weren't complicated by her secrets. There were some things that she needed to tell him but she couldn't; the words were stuck in her throat.

"Same...it's hard you know?" he murmured, tilting his head slightly. He wanted to reach out and touch her but he knew that it would make it even harder. They had spoken their piece last night but he knew that he had to have something from her today. He needed confirmation that she was doing the right thing – staying with. He needed to know if she could handle the long distance thing. He didn't want to come back heartbroken.

"I know," she whispered, her voice low. Her gaze was behind him as the others sent her a wave – Miley had already said her goodbyes. The brunette was standing to the side; waiting for her best-friend. She knew that Miley was ready for whatever was left of her when Joe left and she was thankful for that. She knew she couldn't do it alone – not when she just had a fall-back.

"I...Come with us," he stated, grasping her hand tightly. He didn't want to let her go, not yet – he'd just found her and he wasn't willing for her to leave just yet. Stepping closer to the girl; he wanted her to look up. He knew she was nervous and he knew that she didn't want to watch him walk away. He wanted her to come with him; he wanted her by his side – he needed her by his side.

"Joe...you know...you know I can't do that...it's your dream, go live it," she smiled sadly, trailing a hand along his check. She winced slightly at the sadness in his gaze but she knew what she had to do. He had to leave and live his dream and she'd wait right there. She'd be with him every step of the way – in his heart.

"I want you with me," he pushed, stepping even closer. He gasped slightly as he felt his emotions burst to the surface – his gaze clouded slightly with tears. His hands shook as he entwined their fingers; clinging desperately to her. He didn't want to leave; he couldn't leave. He knew it would hurt but he didn't think it would hurt him that much. His heart was shattering slightly.

"I am with you...I'll be with you every step of the way luv..." she whispered, biting her lip slightly as she saw his confusing. Slowly trailing her hand along his cheek, she continued her path – down his neck and stopping just above his heart. Gripping tightly to the material of his shirt, she drew her hand into a fist in an attempt to stop her tears; she needed to be the strong one now. "Just look in here..."

"Lilly..." he sighed, leaning his forehead against hers. He breathed in deeply as she closed her eyes – drawing on his body for strength. He knew one of them had to be strong and she was taking that step. She was willing to be the strong one this time and he was thankful for that. He couldn't be it, not at the moment; she was holding too tightly to his heart. Things were a blur and she slowed his world down. He needed her.

"Everything will be fine Joe...it's not worth it if you don't have to work for it right?" she shrugged, her hand still entwined with his and the other tightly wrapped in his shirt. She couldn't let go of him; not just yet. Things were spiralling out of control and he was slowing it all down. Somehow his presence was slowing it all down.

"Right," he breathed, bringing a hand to cup her face. Trailing his thumb across her closed eyelid, he silently pleaded for her to open her eyes. He loved that they could communicate silently and she wasn't willing the world away with false hopes. Things would get better and he'd be with her every step of the way. She was becoming particularly important to him and he knew his brothers were noticing it. They hadn't said anything but he knew they knew – she was his for life.

"You've gotta g-" His lips cut her off, his tears mixing in. She could feel him desperately clinging to her body – their entwined fingers clenching and his other hand trailing through her hair. Their bodies flushed and she could feel him pulling her in. He was devouring her gently – eyes closed, she let herself feel. She loved how high her senses were when he was around and she leant even further into him; wanting to feel him close one more time.

Drawing away slowly, his breath was ragged. Licking his lips slowly he could still taste her strawberry lip-gloss she wore and smiled in appreciation – he loved strawberries. He didn't want her to say he had to leave – not yet. He couldn't leave her alone; he needed her to know that she was always on his mind. Pulling her closer to him, he breathed in her scent one more time. "I love you..."

"I love you..." she replied, placing a small kiss onto his lips. She could feel his tears leaking through and she brought a hand up to gently wipe them away. She didn't want him crying – he was supposed to be happy. He was leaving to go back to his tour and she knew performing was what he enjoyed. He loved to hype up the crowd and dance around the stage – she couldn't take him away from that.

"I'll miss you," he whispered, pulling her in for a tight hug. He loved how her body moulded to his and placed a tender kiss to her temple. He needed to go – he knew time was running short. His brothers' would be worried but they wouldn't interrupt. They knew he had to let her go on his own and he would do it; slowly.

"It'll be fine luv...everything will be fine," she smiled sadly, pulling back from his arms. She had to step away – she received the nod from Miley telling her that they really needed to go. The boys' were on a tight schedule and they couldn't be late. She needed to hold in her emotions just alittle bit longer and then they'll be fine – she could cry later.

"I've gotta go," he mumbled, closing his eyes as she trailed a hand along his face – as if to memorize his features. He breathed deep as he felt her step away. She was pulling away and he wanted to desperately cling to her but he didn't. He knew that he needed to move but his feet would – they stood still.

"You've gotta go..." she repeated, stepping away from him again. She needed to put distance between them so he could move. It was unbelievably hard to step away from him but she knew he needed to go. They could call or email – it wouldn't be the end. She leant on him alot more than she should've and she knew he'd be worried. She had Miley to lean on and she knew her friend would be there for her every step of the way.

"Love you..." he said quietly, stepping back from the small girl. He continued to step away from her as their gazes locked. They didn't need to talk – everything was said in their gaze. It would hurt...alot...for them to leave each other behind for the moment but nothing would stop them from being together. They would find each other one way or another.

"It'll be okay," Miley whispered into her friends' ear, wrapping her arms around the girls' waist. She knew it would hurt Lilly to watch him leave but she'd be there for her. Tears caught in her eyes as she heard Lilly break. Her sobs echoed in the now empty room as the plane took off. Tightening her grip on the blonde girl; she fell to the floor. Everything just got too much for her and she let the pain override her.

* * *

'_Hello, Hollywood Records, how can I help?'_

"Yes, can you please put me through to ext. 365?"

'_I'm sorry, Miss Truscott CEO, is busy at the mom-'_

"It's Lillian Truscott...I need to speak to my mother..."

* * *

**_So...how do you like it??_**


	18. Shades of Gray

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_**

Hello!!

**_So...I just want to send a special shout-out to all of you that have reviewed...I have read them all and I've decided to extend the story for just alil' bit longer :) Hopefully you guys will still enjoy it! :) I didn't mean to have that last chapter to end of a type of 'cliff-hanger' thing but some people have said it did...so...hopefully this helps alot :)_**

**_I just wanna do a few shout-outs!_**

**_'ohhmyyjonasx3': Thankyou so much for your support and I hope you do keep reading, I love to here what people think of the chapters!! Thanks for your support from chapter one!! Please continue to read and review! :)_**

**_'Sweet.Little.Secret': Heya, I'm sorry that my writing style bothered you...I didn't even know I even had one lols! I just hope that you're still enjoying the story and the tension between Lilly and Joe is still there?? Lols, but thanks so much for your review! Please continue! :)_**

**_'TangelloGirl': Thankyou for your enthusiasm for the story :) It's cool that you think it's "Ah-Ma-Zhing!" - it helps produce more chapters lol. Thanks for your support and please continue to read and review! :)_**

**_'DrowningInImagination': Hey! Thanks for your review for the latest chapter, it's good to hear what people are thinking and it kinda helps me with writing some more chapters wink, wink haha. Please continue to enjoy and review the story!! :)_**

**_'Zoey24': I think for the latest chapter, you're review was the one that pushed me to extend the story further - I dunno what it was. I'm really loving that so many people are enjoying it and liking the writing...Thankyou so much for your review and I hope you continue to read and review for the chapters to come! :)_**

**_'HeyThereJessica': Thankyou!! Thanks for your support throughout the entire process of this story and hopefully you won't mind this specific story being extended...which means the sequel will have to wait?? Lols...Please continue to read and review, and if you have any ideas, feel free to send them to me :)_**

**_'Chikedeechina': Hey there! Thanks for your reviews! And seriously, any ideas are welcome! Especially for the up-coming sequel! :) If you have your ideas, please send them to me and I'll see what I can do!! Thanks so much and please continue to read and review! :)_**

**_'Vanillastar': Thanks so much for your reviews! I'm lovin' the fact that people seem to be enjoying the story so much :) I'm inlove with Loe and I like writing them lols...hopefully you'll continue to enjoy the story and please continue to review!! :)_**

**_'swimswimswim': Heya, obviously, this story is going to be extended because I left it on a cliffhanger lol - not on purpose. :) There will be a sequel I'm hoping, but please continue to enjoy this story for the moment lols...thanks so much for your review and please keep them coming! Their helping get the chapters up alil' quicker! :)_**

**_'luvtogolf03': Thanks for the review and I'm gonna put more chapters in this story...hopefully you'll continue to enjoy it all :) To be honest, I didn't even know the twist was coming until it was written down lols...hopefully it all makes sense in the end :) Thanks again and please, please, please, continue to read and review!! :)_**

**_'hmjbrox': Heya! Thank you so much for your review, I'm so happy you think that of the story...I just want people to enjoy it :) I'm excited you think that highly of the story!! :):) lols...Obviously it's gonna go on for alittle bit longer, please continue to read and review and I hope it remains your fave so far! :)_**

**_'MyJonasSensesAreTingling3': Thankyou for your support throughout the story!! I'm gonna extend the story becuase of the 'cliffhanger' ending, so there's gonna be a few more chapters for this story :) Hopefully everyone will still enjoy it?? Please continue to read and review, it's seriously helping the process! :)_**

**_'Cheloceanxox': Haha, you're review was probably the one that made me laugh and got me thinking of extending it :) Thankyou for you're review and I am extending the story!! :) Alot of people seem to be enjoying it so why not? Lols, thanks again and if you have any ideas you wanna put forth, it's more than welcome! Please continue to enjoy and review the story!! :)_**

**_So there's my shout-outs lols, hopefully you all will enjoy this chapter and please, review...or just read it...reading would be good...Thanks! :)_**

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"So what can I do for you mother?" she asked, slumping into one of the offered chairs. Her gaze lazily drifted around the room – memorizing the artwork and certificates. She hid a laugh as she remembered her mothers' love to show off; she only displayed them to show others her achievements. To make others wish they were in her position.

"I need you back," Heather Truscott stated, glancing at her daughter. She knew that she'd refuse at first; Lillian didn't want to go back into the entertainment world. Things had been awkward between them since her fathers' death but she needed her daughter with her on this one.

"I don't think so," Lilly replied, brushing off the comment. She didn't want to go back into that world and she knew her mother knew that. It was just more temptation to fall back into her old habits and she didn't want to go back. It was only a day ago that she had fallen back and she needed to stay away from that life – everyone wanted her away from that.

"Lillian...you have the talent to do what no person can...I know that you are alittle bit _nervous_ about your _bad _habits but, you need to get over it – the past is in the past," her mother instructed, looking coolly at her daughter. Lilly needed a hard force in her life and she knew she had to do it. Things were tough but it was smoothing out and she needed her daughter behind her for this one. She had done it before.

"You obviously have no idea what you're talking about," Lilly snapped, furrowing her brows at her mother. She didn't know why the woman was pushing her to go back to something she promised she'd never do again but she wouldn't. She couldn't go back to that life when things were just slowly getting better. Ryan was back in her life and she had Joe.

"_You _obviously have no idea who you're talking to dear...you need to get back to life...you n-"

"_**I feel like you've always been, forever a part of me. And it's so unbelievable to finally be in love, somewhere I'd never thought I'd be..."**_

"Joe?" she asked, holding up a finger to halt her mother. She didn't want to not take his call, especially when she was already missing her dearly, but she also needed to fix the problem with her mother. She couldn't go back, not when she was just moving forward.

'_Hey Lilly, I just thought I'd call and say I miss you!'_

"I miss you too luv..." she winced; the loudness of his voice making her put the phone a distance away from her ear. She feared how many red-bulls the boy had had but it wasn't her problem at the moment. His brothers could take care of him and she had to take care of her mother.

'_Oh! We just had a concert and the crowd was amazing!! So many fans, so little Jonas boys to go aro-'_

"Joe...now's really not the best time for me...could I call you back?" she questioned, halting his story. She knew what he was like when he got carried away and she really wanted to get off the phone. Her mother was looking at her curiously and she didn't want to reveal her new 'boyfriend' just yet. They still needed to have a long talk before she forgave her mother for anything.

'_You don't want to talk to me?'_

"No, no, no...I'm just alittle bit busy at the moment Joe...I'll call you as soon as I'm done," she smiled shyly, hearing the emotion in his voice. She didn't mean to hurt him but she needed to get off the phone. The longer she was on it the more her mother would become curious. Things still weren't right between them and she wanted to get back to their conversation.

'_Okay...as long as you call...I really do miss you Lilz...I love you...'_

"I miss you too Joe, you have no idea how much," she whispered, ending the phone call silently. She pushed back the tears at his words and focused solely on her mother. She'd deal with Joe later on but right now she had to wonder why her mother wanted her to go back. She couldn't but she knew she had to hear her out. They were family after all.

"Joe huh?" Heather grinned, raising an eyebrow at her daughter. They weren't they closest when it came to personal but she could still tease her family lightly. She knew things weren't the best and she knew that things couldn't go back to how they were but – everyone deserved a second chance. She needed Lilly to risk it to ensure her future.

"That's not the topic we're here about is it?" Lilly remarked, glaring at her mother. She couldn't go back to the days when it was just them against the world – mistakes were in the way. She couldn't step back when there was so many things ahead of her. Too many people were relying on her to not step back; she couldn't disappoint them.

"No it's not..." Heather trailed off, eyeing her daughter with regret. She regretted that she had let so many things distract her from her family but she couldn't change the past. The future was filled with so many possibilities that she wanted her daughter to grasp. She didn't mean to delve head-first into her work, but it was her way of dealing with everything.

"I'm not going back," she refused, dropping her gaze. She hated when her mother looked at her like that and she always dropped her gaze. She couldn't handle the pain she saw there and she didn't want to acknowledge it. She had her own to deal with before she took on anothers.

"You were the best Lillian...your father was s-"

"Don't bring him into this mother," Lilly warned, ripping her gaze from the floor to glare at the elder woman. She didn't need to be reminded how proud her father was when she was what she was. He had pushed her into the position when she was only 15 but she took to it like a natural. By 17 she was the most renowned out there.

"Your father was so proud of you Lilly – just because of his death, you don't have to give it up," she re-enforced, raising an eyebrow at her daughters audacity. She knew that Lilly was an excellent arguer but when her father was mentioned – she was crippled slightly. She knew it was horrible of her to use the weakness but she needed her daughter back for this. It was supposed to be the biggest tour of the summer and it was to begin in two weeks. She needed the best and Lillian was the best there was.

"It has nothing to do with his death _mother, _things spiraled out of control – something had to give," she muttered, crossing her arms indignantly. She hated the fact that her mother used something against her but she knew it was just her way. The woman found a weakness and exploited it until she got what she wanted – she did learn from the best after all.

"Yes, and now that that is sorted...you can get back on the wagon," she grinned, clapping her hands excitedly. She knew she was slightly immature when she acted that way but it was one of her qualities that she had passed on to her child. Things could go from stern to laughter with her and she knew her clients were slightly confused by it – it was what kept them all on edge.

"I don't think so," she retorted, quirking an eyebrow at her mother. She didn't want to do it but she knew she was weakening. Her mother had a quality about her that you couldn't say no to – atleast not after her persistence.

"Lillian... I need you on this one – there's no one else I'd trust with this tour...It's important that it goes off without a hitch; the company's riding on it," Heather stated, honesty lacing her tone. She knew her daughter responded to honesty and she knew she had to be truthful. Lilly would bend, she always did when it involved the company her father loved so much.

"Mother...you know I...What's the tour?" she asked, breathing in deeply. She hadn't given in but she knew she would. They both knew she would. When it involved her father, she'd do anything to see it prosper – her mother knew that and so did she.

"Hannah Montana and The Jo-"

"No...no way! No one knows I do this! I can't..." she retorted, jumping to her feet. She couldn't go on tour with the four; she had kept her family life a secret for a reason. She didn't know if they'd be happy or not but she couldn't put them all through that. They would think they betrayed her; kept this from them on purpose but, she just didn't want them to know. Things were rocky as it was.

"Lillian Truscott...you will go on this tour and show them all how it is done – too many times have I seen you lock yourself away. You need to move on from this and a way to do th-"

"You can't make me go mother! I gave up that job when Dad died," she muttered, slumping back into the chair. She didn't mean to lose her temper but she wanted to hold on to her 'mysterious' past for as long as possible. She didn't want them to know of her 'connections.' Things were just working out for her and to throw that on them would cause an uproar.

"You have the talent your father had and you have the brains! Why not use it?" Heather questioned, looking down on her daughter. She knew things were going bad and she needed to re-enforce that the company needed her. Her fathers' memory needed her – despite what was said about her daughter, she knew she meant no harm. The past is in the past and she wanted her daughter to step into the future.

Lilly looked up at her mother, defiance written in her gaze. Abruptly grabbing her coat, she stalked towards the door – the silence in the room deafening. Glancing over her shoulder, she sent her mother a cold look, "I'm not going mother." Her words echoed into the cold room as she slammed the door – her mothers' sigh reaching her from behind the door. She didn't want to go and she didn't need too; things would be too hectic if she went with them. She needed the world at a slow pace and the entertainment industry was the exact opposite. Her mother couldn't expect her to dive right back into that.

* * *

'_**You're still a part of everything I do...you're on my heart just like a tattoo...'**_

"Lilly!" he exclaimed, his eyes lighting up. He stopped his game of guitar hero with Kevin and bounced onto the sofa. They were on the road again and he was waiting to hear from her. He was alittle hurt at her dismissal a couple of hours ago but he knew she'd ring back – she loved him.

'_H...hey Joe, how's it goin?'_

"Everything's goin' great Lils but...we all miss you! Ryans' even here!" he smiled, waving at the skater. The boy was catching a ride with them for his skate park tour and he was meeting up with his manager wherever they landed. It was good to have someone that they could travel with that wasn't a part of the band – he liked having people other than his brothers around.

'_You know I miss you guys too luv...'_

"You miss me the most right?" he asked, looking at each of his brothers. He could tell that they were curious but he wanted to talk to her alone for a second. He needed to hear her voice to know that she was alright.

'_I dunno Joe...you all are pretty even in the missage moniter...'_

"Lilly..." he whined, pouting childishly. He missed her touch violently and he needed to hold her in his arms. He hadn't told her of the tour in two weeks because he was scared – he wanted her to come with him but if she said no then he knew things would be awkward. It was hard enough living a love-life through phone calls – he didn't like it at all.

'_Suck it up Joe...you know I love you...things aren't the same since you guys left...'_

"Lilly...I wish you were with me," he whispered, stepping into the bathroom. Things weren't private enough with the stares of the others on him and he wanted to know how she was coping. He knew that she was faltering that was why he wanted her with him but he knew she wouldn't. There were too many things about her that he didn't know and he knew it bothered him just as much as it bothered her.

'_Joe...you know that I would've there was just...there are things you don't kn-'_

"Then tell me!" he shouted, pulling at his hair. He was sick of her double meanings and tired of her secrets. He wanted to know her and help her through whatever it was that she was struggling through. He was inlove with her and he wanted to know _all _of her. He hated that she kept things from her.

'_You wouldn't understand...there are things that are alittle bit more gray than black and white...'_

"Then help me Lillian...I'm willing to learn," he sighed, sliding down the door. His knees were drawn to up under his chin and he was willing to listen to whatever he had to say. She didn't need to be afraid to show herself to him.

'_Joe...'_

"Don't...please Lilly...don't shut me out anymore," he murmured, closing his eyes tightly. It wasn't the time for emotions, not when he wanted to know what was happening in her life; but, he couldn't hold it in. It was hurting him that she kept secrets and factors in her life a secret – it hurt him more than she probably knew.

'_I have to go Joey...I need to sort some things out with mom...Please...understand that I wanna tell you but, can you give me a bit more time?'_

"That's fine, I've gotta get going to babe...I love you," he stated, quickly closing the phone. He leaned his head back against the wall, closing his eyes tightly. His breathing was ragged as he let the emotions wave through his body. He couldn't handle that she was keeping things from him especially when he knew it affected her health but he couldn't change things – she obviously needed a bit more time.

* * *

"You're doin' this all for some boy?" she questioned, staring absurdly at the younger girl. She didn't realize that her little 'adventure' had such an effect on the girl but obviously it did. Her whole life was changing and so were her decisions.

"No...I'm doing this for the company mother...you wanted me to do it in the first place," she muttered, stalking through the halls of Hollywood Records. She recognized a few peoples' faces but she just brushed it off. She wouldn't have to be there for long – she'd be on the road within the next week.

"Only after you got that call from what's his name...Joe? Something must've happened Lillian," she pushed, walking in step with her daughter. She couldn't hold back the smile as she admired the way her daughter maneuvered through the familiar halls. It reminded her of a time when they were a team and she was hoping they could get back to that.

"Why are you pushing this? You wanted me and now you have me..." she snapped, glaring as her mother opened the office door for her. It was her old office that was right next door to her fathers' old one – a memory everytime she walked past.

"Fine, have it your way dear...everything has to be sorted by the end of the day – you'll be on your own aswell," Heather stated, walking out of the door. She missed her daughters' presence in the place and she smiled slightly – it had been too long. She knew what it looked like but Lilly had to talent for the job; nothing could stop that girl. She was young, everyone knew that, but everyone also knew that she was the best out there. Her age was just an anonymous factor to her charm.

"Wouldn't have it any other way..." Lilly whispered, sitting in her old chair. Nothing had been moved from when she was last there and it unnerved her slightly. The photos were still where they used to be and she could see the layer of dust. Scraping her finger along the desk, she laid her head back – breathing in deep. She knew she'd have to tell them sooner or later but she picked later.

Biting her lip gently, she thought of Joe. She knew he was hurt at her abrupt dismissal but, she just wasn't ready – not yet. She couldn't tell him everything but she knew she'd have to tell him about her presence before he found out from anyone else. It wouldn't be fair if he found out any other way – she wasn't sure he'd get over that. She admired that he was willing to listen to her but; she wasn't ready to talk yet.

* * *

"Have you told her 'bout the tour coming up?" Nick asked, looking towards his brother. He saw his slumped form exiting the bathroom with his cell-phone held limply in his hand. He didn't want to disturb him but, he knew that his brother had to tell Lilly – if he didn't one of them would.

"She...she had to leave quickly...something came up with her mom," Joe swallowed, smiling gently at his brother. He knew that Nick was only trying to help but there were bigger problems in their relationship than they even knew. He didn't want his brothers' to get caught up in his problems with Lilly – it was about them.

"With her mom? Lilly doesn't really talk to her mother unless..." Ryan trailed off, gaining the attention of the brothers. He knew what Lilly was up to and he wasn't sure if it was her dealings or her mothers. He had been told stories of the lady and he knew that Lilly didn't want anything to do with her or the recording company.

"Unless..." Kevin urged on, looking eagerly at the other boy. He knew his brothers' were hanging on the boys' every word and he was eager to find out what he knew. Lillys' past was a mystery to all of them but Ryan and he knew Joe wanted to know more – all of them wanted to know more.

"Shit!" he growled, storming out of the room. He ignored the brothers' confused glances and pulled out his phone. Lilly would need to talk to someone if what he was thinking was right. He knew of her talents and he didn't want her back in that world. There were too many temptations around them and she didn't need that – not when she was doing so well.

'_**You've reached Lilly here, obviously I'm alittle bit busy, but if you leave a message I'll get back to you as soon as possible...'**_

"Sparkz, please tell me you didn't do what I think you did. Joe just came out of the bathroom from talking to you and said something about your mother? I know what the relationship is like between you two and I know you wouldn't go back...you're too strong to give in like that Lilly...You shouldn't h-"

'_Ryan?'_

"Lilly! Please tell me you didn't..." Ryan pleaded slightly, keeping his voice low as to not alert the brothers. He knew they'd probably be listening behind the closed door but he knew that Lilly wanted to keep her 'authority' a secret. She didn't want them to act strange or feel betrayed by her.

'_Ryan...some things are just out of my hands...there were factors that couldn't be helped...'_

"Sparks...you have to tell them...Joes' hurting because you're continuously keeping secrets from him and you _know_ how much that hurts – alot was kept from you. You need to let them know just what you do...I know you've gone back to your old job and I'm proud of you for that but I'm worried as well...there were aspects of that job that led to you going t-"

'_It wasn't just the job Specks...I loved working with the people...It was everything else...Dad's death, the partying...it all just got alittle bit too much for me. But, things are different now...'_

"You're doing it for them aren't you?" he questioned, narrowing his eyes slightly. If she was doing what he was thinking she was doing then he knew she'd have to do some explaining. She couldn't just turn up and hope everything would be okay – the brothers' and Miley wouldn't accept that.

'_It's part of my job Rye...you've gotta un-'_

"No Lillian, you need to understand that you need to tell them about yourself! You can't continuously hide behind your wall," he growled, hitting the wall angrily. She always pushed him to the limit and he knew he was getting slightly out of control. He shouldn't be mad at her for trying to mend her relationship with her mother but there were sides of her that she needed to tell the brothers' and Miley. They couldn't be held in the dark any longer – especially if she was going to be with them on their new tour.

'_Cut me some slack Specks...it's not all black and wh-'_

"Don't pull that shit with me Lilly...I know nothings' ever black and white but you need to see it from their point-of-view. One is madly inlove with you and the others think of you as a sister – you can't keep hiding...They deserve to know the truth," he snapped, pacing back and forth. He knew the brothers could hear his voice but he didn't care. Lilly had a right to tell them just who she exactly was and he knew they wouldn't be bothered by it. Joe may feel alittle betrayed but if he truly loved her, he'd get over it. She was right, there were grays, and she was used to living in that area of life but she needed to see things from other point-of-views. Her friends deserved to know the true her.

'_What if...what if they don't understand why I did it? What if they turn away...I couldn't handle that...'_

"Sparks...I don't think they could turn away if they tried...you're in their hearts Lils – there's shades of gray," he sighed slightly, running a tired hand through his hair. She was exhausting to deal with but he wouldn't have her any other way. He could feel the boys' impatience through the door and he knew he had to end the call before they barged through the door. She'd tell them in her own time but they deserved to know soon – she couldn't keep it for long.

'_I hate when you're right...'_

"Suck it up Lillian," he smirked, turning the knob to the door. They had had their talk and he was free to talk infront of the boys. They didn't need to know what they were fighting bout – Lilly would tell them soon enough. It wasn't his secret to tell or else he would've spilt it; they had become quite close since being in-closed on the bus.

'_Look...I've got a few more things to sort out and then I'll tell them...I promise...'_

"Promises are meant to be broken," he hummed, ignoring the boys' curious glances. He felt the hostility felt by Joe and he just wanted to ease that tension but he knew that it would always appear when he was talking to Lilly – the boy was trying to understand. He couldn't help that he knew Lilly better than them at the moment but they'd soon know her equally.

'_Not this one Specks...talk to you later...'_

"I'll see ya later," Ryan stated, quickly closing his phone. He raised his eyes to meet the brothers and shrugged helplessly in response. He couldn't tell them – not when Lilly had said she would. If things had gone a different way then he would've stepped in but they hadn't; Lilly was willing to let them in even further and he was proud of her.

"What was with the shouting?" Joe asked, looking quizzically at the boy. He was jealous of the connection he appeared to have with Lilly and the knowledge he had of her past but he knew he couldn't control it. When it came to Lilly things were out-of-control and he didn't try to control them. He loved her for the confusion she brought but also the stability – she was able to slow his world down. She was a breath of fresh air for him.

"Lilly is...confusing to say the least," Ryan muttered, crossing his arms. He hated lying to the boys but he couldn't say what she wanted to say. She'd ring or fly out to meet them and he knew that it had to be her surprise to tell. He couldn't do it no matter how bad he wanted too. He just hoped that she'd bring Miley and Oliver along with her so she didn't have to tell it twice.

"What's happened?" Nick asked, looking between the two boys. He knew they both loved Lilly but very differently. He could see that Joe was jealous of the knowledge Ryan had of Lillys' past but he knew that neither of them could help that – it wasn't their fault. Lilly would tell them what they needed to know when she felt ready and they couldn't push her incase she fell even farther into the past.

"Lillys' just got alot of explainin' to do..." Ryan murmured, quickly lying down on his bed. He didn't want to talk about it anymore – he needed to sleep. If he knew Lilly as much as he hoped – he knew she'd be out for tomorrow nights' concert. She'd surprise them and then tell them – hopefully bringing along Miley and Oliver. She was born the rightful heir to a multi-billion dollar record label; she needed to start spending the money.

* * *

**_Okay...so what do you guys all think...Personally, I don't really like the ending but it's was all I could come up with..._**

**_Read and review!_**

**_:)_**


	19. This Is Me

Skin tight, dark denim jeans clung tightly to her curves, riding low on her hips, her off-the-shoulder top hung loosely around her breasts but tightened around her waist, leaving a tantalizing piece of perfectly tanned skinned on show, her hair hung in waves, cascading down to just below her breasts, while her make-up was clean and simple - all topped off with knee-high black heeled boots.

She winced slightly at the clicking noise from her boots – shrinking from the slight glares of the security. She smiled gently as she heard their music pounding through arena; it really was catchy. She bit her lip in nervousness as she neared the side of the stage; her eyes widening as she caught sight of the boys. They really were a sight to see on stage – they enraptured the audience. Slipping into the shadows, she watched as they bounced off stage – all the boys' picking up a water bottle.

"Man...That crowd is pumping," Nick commented, leaning back onto the wall. There was time for them to take a breather before the fans came backstage – performing was tiring. He loved the fact that the fans were so enthusiastic; he could still hear the chanting for another encore echoing through.

"Ryan missed out tonight," Kevin nodded, grinning at his two brothers. They all loved to be out infront of the fans; watching as they knew all the lyrics to their songs. It was the greatest rush he could ever experience – it was a high that took awhile to come down from. Sipping from his water bottle, he shook off the feeling of another presence; putting it down to the continuous hustle around him.

"It was mighty fecthin' if I do say so myself..." Joe stated solemnly, nodding his head in thought. His face erupted into a grin as his brothers burst out laughing, his eyes twinkling in delight. There wasn't another feeling in the world like doing what he loved, and he loved that his brothers were right by his side.

"You're a strange one lil'bro," Kevin laughed, ruffling the boys' hair. His brothers' could always lighten his day and he was happy Joes' thoughts were off of Lilly for now. They hadn't spoken or heard a word from her since last night – he couldn't help his worry but his main focus was his family. Joe's heart was slowly breaking with the many secrets and he hated that his family was hurting.

"Says the boy with twenty thousand bandanas? Right..." Nick joked, sending his brothers an exasperated look. They were always winding each other up and he wouldn't have it any other way. He knew Lillys' hold on Joes' heart would weaken the boy soon enough but, he was glad that Joe was still all there. He was able to focus on the fans rather than his emotional life and he was proud of his brother for that.

"You want us to start on you fro'bro?" the two elder siblings asked in unison, grinning wickedly towards each other. Advancing slowly on the younger boy, they raised their eyebrows in his sudden back-step from them. Tilting their heads in-synch; their grins matched.

"You guys are scarcely similar...you know that right?" a voice interrupted their 'scene' – drawing their attention towards the small girl. She blushed slightly at the recognition flickering through their gazes and just shrugged at their unresponsive stances. She didn't expect this reaction from the three and she nervously bit her lip – ducking her head shyly.

"Lilly?" Nick asked, tilting his head in confusion. He smiled slightly at her shy demeanour and quickly glanced over at his two brothers. He could see that Joe was itching to do something – his fists were held tightly closed – and Kevin was just standing stock-still. Shrugging at his brothers quirkiness, he turned back towards the blonde girl.

"H...hey guys," she stammered, shuffling her feet slightly. She was regretting leaving Miley and Oliver back at the hotel but she knew their questions were just getting irritating. It had been hard enough getting them there without answering all of their questions but, she knew she'd cave before she even talked to the brothers.

Joe tilted his head as he took her in – revelling in her presence. She really was something to behold; she just seemed to _glow _in the darkness of backstage. He smiled gently as he stepped forth, halting his brothers from embracing her – he needed to do it first. Grazing her cheek gently, he tilted her chin upwards; locking her gaze with his. "Hey luv..." he murmured, his eyes twinkling. He could still feel the rush of the performance running through his veins and his heart was pounding – he just didn't know if it was from the show or from her presence.

Lilly face brightened slightly, her fear forgotten when he touched her. She stepped into him, flushing their bodies together – wrapping her arms around his neck. Standing on her toes, she brushed her lips with his; clinging desperately to his shirt. She didn't know what she was doing but, she needed to feel his love for her at the moment. She needed his strength surrounding her.

One hand gripped her chin gently; the other clung to her hip – looping his thumb through the belt loop. He was shocked at her actions but he didn't refuse her; he needed her against him just as much as she needed him. He could feel her drawing strength from him but he only pulled her closer; deepening the kiss.

Biting his lower lip gently, she drew back slightly – keeping her body close as he leant his forehead against hers. She noticed their chest rising and falling in-synch with each other and she smiled; loving that she could make him breathless. "Hi..." she blushed, giggling as she buried her head into the crook of his neck – snuggling into his warm embrace. She closed her eyes and breathed in his scent; placing a tender kiss onto his neck.

"Hi..." he whispered, pulling away from the girl gently. He could feel his brothers' impatience and he knew that she was there for a reason. She would've told him through the phone if she was just going to visit them but he knew she meant business. They still had _alot_ to sort through but he was just thankful that she was there – it meant that she cared. She was willing to work at it aswell.

"Lilly!!" Kevin grinned, pulling the girl away from his brothers' gaze and into his arms. Wrapping the girl in a big bear hug – he ignored Joes' affronted look; the boy could hold her any time of the day. He was wondering why she was there slightly but he knew she'd tell them; when she was ready. It was all about time with her and he was willing to wait – all three of them were.

"Hey Kev..." she laughed, squeezing the boy tightly before letting go. She loved that he was so comfortable with her and she had a feeling that Joe had something to do with it. The boys all had their qualities that had to be admired and she knew that they'd be in her life for years to come – all she had to do was tell them what her mother did. Her past was something that was left to be desired but she knew they deserved to know just _who _she was.

"Miss. Lillian," Nick smirked, pulling the girl into his own arms. He could see the nervousness in her eyes and he was slightly curious as to why it was there – she didn't have to be nervous when it was them. They were all family; despite what would happen, he thought of her as family. She was a force to be reckoned with and he admired that in her.

"Lil'Nicky," she smiled, ruffling his curls. She pinched him slightly on the side of his stomach and laughed when he squealed girlishly – winking towards the two older Jo'Bros. Nick was becoming a closer friend than alot of others and she wanted that to continue; he was easy to talk to and he truly did live up to his media name.

"Evil..." he retorted, glaring at the blonde nymph. He smiled as she poked her tongue out in retort, crossing her arms playfully. He could see why Joe was so attracted to her but his sights were set on Miley – the brunette had some affect on him. He was slowly beginning to understand just what Joe was thinking when Lilly barged into his life.

"Away from that..." Kevin stated, slinging an arm around the girls' shoulders. He grinned slyly towards Joe as the boy grunted his disapproval and just led the girl towards their dressing room – she'd have to stay until all the fans had had their 'meet and greet.' "What are you doing here Lillian?"

"Actually...Miley and Oliver are here too – there're some things I have to tell you guys," she replied, looking over her shoulder at Joe. She really wanted him beside her – her nervousness was coming back. He was the only one that could calm her nerves and she needed him at the moment. She drew strength from his presence, she knew it was selfish of her, but she was going to need him to get through the night. Things would be revealed and she didn't know how they'd react.

"It'll be fine luv," Joe whispered in her ear, sliding an arm around her waist. He pulled her closer to him, ignoring Kevins remark at her sliding out from under the boys' arm – he didn't care, he had seen her look and he didn't think she had a need to be nervous. Whatever it was, they could work together to fix the problem – it was what friends were for.

* * *

"Booyah! Eat that Miss Montana..." Oliver taunted, sticking his tongue at the pouting brunette. His grin widened as she shot him a death-glare and picked up the controller again. He sighed playfully as she selected the game again – he had to admire her persistence.

"Bask while you can Oken...bask while you can..." she grinned, her concentration going back to the screen. She couldn't believe that he had beaten her two times in a row and she couldn't let it go – she was competitive. She knew they were being silly but it was passing the time until Lilly got back with the Jonas Brothers'.

"Eat my dust lil' Miss twa-"

"Oh, oh, oh! Sorry, was that you that I just left in the du-"

"Oh I'm sorry...you should probably actually watch where you're goin' – you know, so you don't run into...Hey! Unfair Miley...you can't just do th-"

"Suck it up boy! Just don't cough on my du-"

"Booyah Miley Stewart! Who's the man? Huh? Who is the man?!" Oliver questioned, dancing around the room joyfully. It was one thing that neither of the girls' could beat him at and he enjoyed rubbing their faces in it every once in-awhile. Miley could sing, Lilly was a pro at so many sports and he...he was the King of Video Games.

"All bow down to the master..." Miley muttered grouchily, glaring at her best-friend. She couldn't hide the grin that was itching to get out when she saw the boys' happiness – small things for small minds. She was just happy that he didn't feel left out most of the time; they didn't really spend enough time together – she'd have to change that.

"Thankyou...thankyou...please, you don't need to applaud," Oliver stated pompously, reaching out to grasp a vase. He wiped a fake tear away from his eyes and cleared his throat. "At first, I didn't believe I could achieve such a dream...it's really a wonderful thing! I just wanna thank so many people! Oh, such a l-"

"You can be quiet now," Miley remarked, throwing a pillow at the boy. She held in the laughter at his 'acting' abilities but she couldn't deny the grin – he really was quite funny when he wanted to be. She could still hear the faint theme music from the game but she brushed it off; there was no way she was losing to that boy again.

"You know Miles...to throw is an act of violence and you, lil'missy, are against violence right? And...Violence is a punishable offence," Oliver hummed lightly, bouncing on his toes. The video games had given him a high of energy and he wasn't ready to let it go just yet. Time needed to go alittle bit faster and it was when they were having fun.

"Oliver...no...please," she begged, her eyes widening as he stepped closer to her. She could see the thought in the back of his eyes and she couldn't help but step back in fear – she shouldn't have told him her weakness. He was going to use it to his advantage and she was scared of the outcome. Time was moving faster and Lilly would be there soon – the place was a mess.

"I don't think so..." he grinned, pouncing towards the girl. His eyes widened as she suddenly stepped back – his body hitting the floor with a loud thumb. Quickly jumping to his feet, clutching his chest, he painfully released his breath – rubbing the sore spot from the carpet burn. Grumbling half-heartedly, he raised his eyes slowly to meet the raised eye-brow of his other best-friend – followed closely by another three more sets of curious gazes.

"Care to explain..." Lilly inquired, indicating towards the popcorn strewn across the floor and Miley hiding behind Nicks back. She was trying to hold in the laughter as the boy turned bright red – opening and closing his mouth in shock. She knew they were alittle bit earlier than she had anticipated but the boys' wanted to spend some time with the three of them and she couldn't deny them that. Not when Joe looked at her with his puppy-dog eyes.

"Miley started it!"

"Oken say what?! You were the one that go-"

"No! You threw popcorn at me to stop me from kickin' your ass at Ma-"

"I did _not!_ You may have me alittle confused with your own actions...I know how confused you get child – remember the ch-"

"Don't bring that up again! That was _one_ time and you never let me forget it! It's not like your lil'miss pe-"

"Shut up! Please! For starters...you both went completely off topic from the beginning of the accusations...Really, I think you guys need to learn to stay on-track," Lilly interrupted, grinning at both of her friends. She knew that they were only growing closer in friendship and she loved that – she wanted them both to get-a-long alot better. She didn't want to have to continuously choose between them when she loved them both.

"Oh...Mario Kart!" Joe, Nick and Kevin shouted gleefully, bounding towards the machine. They each dived for a controller, clawing at each others' clothes to grasp the first remote. Kevin came out victorious, leaving his brothers groaning in misery – either injured or not. Immediately dropping to the floor, the brothers zoned in on the game; throwing insults back and forth.

"Sweet nibblets...it starts again," Miley sighed, slapping her forehead gently. She giggled as Oliver watched eagerly over their shoulders – cheering on each of the boys.

* * *

"Okay...now that we've all discovered who the champi-"

"Please, no need to cheer..." Oliver grinned; slumping into his seat as pillows were thrown from every direction.

"...Discovered the champion of Mario Kart – we can get to why I've gathered you all here...now," Lilly stated, standing before all of them. She gripped Ryans' hand in hers as she faced her friends – ignoring Joes' look of annoyance. She needed their attention for her announcement but she also needed their support. She didn't want them to turn away or use her – just as so many people had done.

"You okay Lilly?" Kevin asked, looking at the girl strangely. He had never seen her so nervous or dependant on another human being. He knew that she used to touch to emotionally attach herself to someone instead of words but she had never seen her cling so desperately to someone other than Joe. It was a different sight and it unnerved him slightly. It scared him how weird it was to view her without Joe – without the two of them together.

"I'm fine Kev...just...obviously there are some things that none of you know about me – specifically my past," she started, ducking her head slightly. She knew she needed to face this dead on but, things were slowly dragging themselves to the surface and she could feel her emotions bubbling through – she needed to either say it or leave the room.

"Lilly...we understand that you don't want to reveal it all – you don't have too," Nick said, glancing towards the others in confirmation. If she wasn't comfortable sharing what it was about her life – then they wouldn't make her. They were friends and friends accepted each other as they were. Nothing came between them and he considered Lilly as close as family.

"That's the thing Nick...I kinda do..." she murmured quietly, raising her gaze. She needed to see their reaction towards the news but her eyes only landed on Joe. His gaze was questioning and hurt but she could see the love he had for her. He was hurt that she wasn't leaving on him but he was trying to understand – she had to admire him for that. He was willing to let her take strength from her ex-boyfriend in order to tell her story. She really did love him.

"We're listening Lilz," Miley smiled gently, entwining her fingers within Nicks. They were sitting side-by-side on the couch and she could feel his presence leaking into her skin – sinking through to her bones. Silently, she urged her friend forth, hoping it wasn't too bad and things could soon get back to normal. She wasn't used to all the commotion in life and she just wanted to relax for the last week or her break before she had to go back on tour. Things were never calm on tour – there were too many people to look after.

"I know about your up-coming tour with Hannah Montana," she breathed, watching their eyes widen significantly. Confusion flickered across their gazes and she bit her lip nervously. Promotion hadn't started yet and she knew that they were promoting throughout the next three weeks and then the actual tour started.

"How...how did you know?" Joe asked quietly, looking down. He hadn't told her and he wanted to be the one to break it to her – he had betrayed her. He had kept something from her on purpose and he knew it had hurt her. He could see the sadness in her eyes and he didn't mean too. There were so many things going on at the moment that the actual tour wasn't on his mind.

"Only the record company knows about it yet..." Kevin murmured, tilting his head to the side in confusion. He was wondering how she had found out about the tour but he'd give her time to speak – she obviously needed too. His settled on Ryan as the boy continuously sent worried looks towards Lilly; as if trying to judge if she needed help in what she was saying or not. The girl had so many protectors that he knew she'd be okay.

"It's okay Joe..." Lilly smiled, nodding towards Joe. She didn't want him to feel guilty for leaving out that detail of his life – she had so many other secrets to share. She knew he wanted to know all about her but she just wasn't ready to share it all but she was sharing a big part of her tonight. Things wouldn't be the same but she hoped they would.

"You're right Kevin...Hollywood Records are the only ones' that know – considering their both your guys record label. The thing is...my mother – she's not...her name is Heather Trus-"

"You're _the _Lillian Truscott aren't you?" Nick questioned; his eyes wide with curiosity. He had read all about the girl but he didn't make the connection that they were actually the same person. The one in the papers seemed so in-control and he knew Lilly wasn't – her life was spiralling out of control and it was just lucky his brother was there to catch her.

"Yes," she nodded solemnly, ducking her head in guilt. She could see the confusion in the majority of the boys' eyes but she knew Nick understood – he knew who she was. The words weren't worth it anymore as she just waited for their knowledge to kick-in. Things would change but she hoped they understood where she was coming from. Her family was a mess and she just wanted a refuge in another place.

"Who?" Joe asked, looking between his younger brother and Lilly. There was something going on between them and he didn't like it. He didn't like being out of the loop – especially when it involved loved ones. He didn't exactly know who they were talking about but he faintly recalled Heather Truscotts' name in the back of his mind – the name was familiar.

"Guys...she's...she's _it. _She's pretty much the most sort-after manager in the world – her age isn't a factor. Her father, he was...he was a legend in the music industry – winning award, after award. Her mother...her _mom_ is the CEO of Hollywood Records – the family owns it. Lilly...Lillys' the best in the business..." Nick stated, grinning like an idiot. He was giddy with excitement as he realised just what she was getting at – she'd be on tour with them; she'd be managing them. He had read of her talent and brains and he was excited to see just what she was capable of.

"Didn't know you were that cool Sparks," Ryan whispered into her; earning a blush from her. His gaze wavered around the room – eyeing each of the participants. He could see their shock and confusion and he didn't know how they'd deal with the news. There was still alot that Lilly wasn't telling them – quite alot actually but he couldn't force her. Obviously, she wasn't ready to reveal her whole self to them but she was going to try.

"You're goin' on tour with u...them," Miley stated, glancing between Lilly and the brothers. She didn't know what to make of the situation but she could see her best-friends nervousness. Hurt flickered through her own eyes as she gazed at Lilly but she was thankful her friend had told her – even if it was alittle bit late. Things were turning awkward and she didn't want Lilly to get hurt.

"Yeah...mother wants me to make sure it goes off without a hitch – it's been quite a year for both acts," she nodded, smiling shyly at her friend. She winced slightly as she saw the hurt in Mileys' gaze but she could slowly see the acceptance. Yes, she could feel the awkwardness in the air but she needed them to understand. Things in her life weren't always black and white.

"So you're some big shot heiress?" Joe asked, accusation lacing his tone. It was all finally coming to a head and he couldn't control his words. His emotions were taking control and he was hurt. She was leaning on another and she was still keeping things from him – he could see it in her eyes. There was something she wasn't saying and he hated it; he hated that she felt she had to hide herself.

"No...that life...I'm not a part of th-"

"But you used to be," he retorted, carelessly cutting her off. He was hurt and angry and he knew he was being irrational. He was making things worse when he should be the one making things better but he just couldn't handle seeing her at the moment. He had been watching her actions with Ryan and he noticed the familiarity – something was definitely still between them. His heart wasn't ready to take the load of her baggage; he wasn't sure what to make of her new announcement.

"Well yeah...but Joe...you've gotta understand that that's not me anymore...you know me and I'm here..." Lilly whispered, tears clouding her vision as she gazed at him. She didn't expect this reaction from him but she could see where he was coming from – maybe she had kept too many things from him. She didn't want him to hate her; she just wanted to go back to when she wasn't there – to when her father was still alive. She wanted to go back when everything was normal and she was where she felt safe – everything was out-of-control again.

"That's the thing Lilly...I don't think I do anymore," he murmured, walking out of the room. His eyes remained on the floor as he heard his brothers' protests or the gasp of shock from Lilly – he needed to leave. He needed to get some air to catch his breath; everything was moving at different speeds. He didn't know what to make of Lillys' reveal but he could tell there was still more to come.

"Lilly..." Kevin sighed, reaching out towards the small girl. He watched as she crumbled into Ryans' arms – her sobs quiet and heartbroken. He couldn't believe his brother had just done that; it wasn't like him. Joe was usually the one that stayed but, he had a feeling that Joe was just confused – there was too much happening at once. The boy just needed to cool-off to view the situation alittle bit more clearly...hopefully he'd come back in.

"He's an ass Sparks," Ryan snapped, glaring at the closed door the boy exited from. He could hear the rain outside and he hoped the boy got soaked. Nobody hurt Lilly and he thought Joe wouldn't but he was wrong. The boy had walked out just when she needed him the most – no one expected that of him. He knew Joe was having trouble accepting the closeness that he had with Lilly but it was just how they were together. He couldn't help that and neither could Lilly.

"No..." she muttered, ripping herself out of Ryans embrace. Her eyes darted wildly around the room before storming out of the door. Fear gripped her heart as she darted outside – her eyes scanning the passing people. She had to find him; she had to make him understand.

"Looking for someone?" a voice asked, drawing her attention towards a drenched boy sitting on the sidewalk – his eyes glimmering with unshed tears. He knew it was horrible of him to leave but he couldn't handle it inside; he needed to breathe. He needed air in his lungs as he tried to find out exactly where he fit in her life. Things weren't always black and white.

"Joe..." she whispered, stepping closer to the fallen boy. She didn't care that the rain was soaking into her clothes – all she cared about was the boy infront of her. She didn't need anything else at the moment; all she needed was him. Her eyes lifted as he stood up; breathing deep before facing her. She saw the anguish in his eyes and she winced slightly – she had caused that. "I don't...I th-"

"Is that the only secret you've kept from us all?" he questioned, his eyes narrowing in accusation. His hurt was turning to anger and she was the only one that was there – it was all on her. He couldn't fight the betrayal rising through his veins and he didn't really want too; things were turning difficult and he didn't want that. She put his world back in-place but at the moment, she was tilting it off his axis.

"Joe...I to-"

"God Lilly! I can't...not...not now," he exclaimed, turning away from the stuttering girl. He couldn't deal with anything else – he didn't _want _to know. She had entered his world and turned it upside down and he liked her in his world but, there were too many things he didn't know about her. He didn't want love to be this hard; his mind was scrambled and his emotions were on alert.

"Joe! Joe!" she screamed, gripping his arm and turning him around. Their bodies were so close but he was deliberately not touching her – deliberately making sure there was distance there. She could feel his every breath and her eyes snapped to his. Anger clouded her vision as she glared at the boy; his eyes returning the same emotion.

"No...no! You...you don't get to walk away! You don't get to walk away when you wanted this! You said you knew enough? Well...if you knew me, you'd know I need you right now! I don't need Ryan or...or Oliver! I need _you!_ You wanna know me?! Huh?!" she snapped, clinging desperately onto his arm. She couldn't let him walk away – not when she needed him. She'd need his support when they were on tour; especially around all the people she had left behind. She'd need him and she wanted him. "Well...this is _me. _Here is me..." she murmured, stepping back and looking shockingly at her hands. She didn't mean to cling to him – she didn't want to _need_ someone but it was all true.

His eyes widened at her words – his eyes trailing over her form. The rain had soaked through her clothes; leaving her bare and open. He could see the truth glistening in her eyes and he just wanted to reach out and wipe the tears away but; he couldn't. Things had gotten completely out of hand and he didn't know how to fix it. It hurt to watch her so broken – her eyes wide with truth and fear. He leaned his head back, closing his eyes tightly as he felt the rain land on his face. He knew she was waiting for his words but nothing came to mind. He felt just as broken as she appeared.

Reaching out slowly, he gazed her cheek gently with his palm – frowning slightly as she flinched at his touch. He didn't want her to ever be afraid of his touch and he was scared that she had done that. His heart clenched painfully as her eyes lifted to meet his; hurt sparkling in their depths. "Lilly..." he sighed, his own eyes watering slightly. He had never met a girl that could produce so much emotion within him that he was just about crippled. She quelled the anger within him but produced the emotion at the same time. Everything was spinning and he didn't know where they stood – not anymore.

"This...this is me," she choked, the rain mixing with her tears. She didn't want him to walk away – she couldn't let him. Things got hard but that was what love was; you had to work for it. He was the first person she had let into her heart for a long time and she needed him alot more than she would have liked. She knew that the other relationships in her life had to change but, he couldn't walk away. She loved him.

"I can't...I can't handle anymore secrets Lilly...You have to be able to _trust _me," he whispered, his eyes clouded with indecision. He couldn't handle the hurt of her turning to another for help because he didn't know. He couldn't watch her in the arms of another because she wouldn't tell him. He just couldn't do it anymore – things weren't the same anymore.

"Joe...I...I do...I do trust you," she breathed, tenderly grazing his cheek. The rain still poured down – her hair clinging to her face but she didn't care. She needed him to see her for who she was and she knew he was beginning too. Her hand stayed in place as she watched his eyes close tightly; as if remembering her touch. Her gaze was trained on his face, trying to read whatever was on his mind – she didn't want him to turn away.

"You mean the world to me Lillian..." he stated, his eyes still tightly closed. He nuzzled her cupped hand with his cheek – relishing in her touch. There was still the spark that was there from the beginning and he loved that. He couldn't deny the love that he had for her but he couldn't go through with it if there were anymore secrets. It hurt too much when she kept things from him.

"I _love_ you Joseph...nothing can change that...not anymore," she smiled shyly, silently begging him to open his eyes. She didn't want the moment to be 'make believe;' she wanted it to be real. She needed to see his eyes because she wanted to know what he felt. The rain was coming down harder and she couldn't control the shiver that was released – it was getting cold.

"I love you," he whispered, taking the step closer that both were eager to take and flushing their bodies. He could feel her heat radiating through him and he enjoyed having her so close to him. Just her presence next to him created a rush and he loved her. It wasn't something that he wanted to deny but he couldn't go through the hurt of her not trusting him anymore. He just couldn't do it anymore. "No more secrets?"

Her lips met his in response – she didn't want to answer. She couldn't lie to him but she couldn't tell him the full truth. Things weren't that clear in her world and she couldn't tell him that – it would ruin everything. Wrapping her arms tightly around his neck, she pulled him closer – deepening the kiss. She clung onto his neck, ignoring the rain, ignoring the stares – it was just them.

Both hands clutched her hips; drawing her even closer to him – wanting to feel her as close as possible. She was everywhere around him and he revelled in it. She was everything to him and he didn't want to let her go but she needed to understand. The passion between them was electrifying and he didn't want it to end. Things couldn't go back to the way they were but maybe they could move forward.

* * *

**_So there it is lols...Lillys' keeping something else from them - what will it do to her relationship with Joe? And the brothers? _**

**_Read and review!! :)_**

**_Thanks_**


	20. Pushin' Me Away

**_Okay, hey guys!! Thanks so much for your reviews! THey were cool! Anways, please read the little thingy at the end?? thanks! :)_**

* * *

"You know...you should probably tell them," he stated, his eyes trained on the moving figures infront of him. His tongue poked out as his concentration grew – it was really hard to concentrate and talk at the same time.

"Tell them what?" Miley sighed, rolling her eyes at the actions of her friend. He was too into the game before him and she knew that the conversation was hitting some touchy subjects – he'd son pause and turn to her. It had only been two days ago that Lilly had told them her secret and things were still awkward between them.

"You know...that you're Hannah Montana – you're goin' on tour with the boys," he shrugged, carelessly dropping the controller. His eyes settled on her form and chuckled lightly when she purposely avoided his gaze. He loved hanging out with her but he knew that they were both avoiding Lilly. The girl had dropped a big bombshell on them all and it needed time to settle within them.

"I think everyone's had enough secret revealing for the moment," Miley joked, quickly shutting up as she saw the hurt flash through his eyes. She had no idea what Oliver must've been thinking – him and Lilly had been friends alot longer than them. It was a completely different story for him and she knew that he was deeply hurt. It was as if Lilly didn't trust them enough to tell them.

"Things are alittle tense aren't they?" Oliver questioned, gazing sadly at his other best friend. Everyone had been walking on egg-shells for the past two days since Lillys' big reveal – even her and Joe weren't the best. He could see that the boy was still undecided as to what he was actually doing but he hoped they worked it out – he could see the love that they both shared for each other.

"Try majorly," Miley scoffed, slumping back into the couch. Promotion was to start soon and she knew she'd be in the presence of Lilly quite soon – she was the person to go to now. She didn't know what to do when it came to her 'best-friend;' she just didn't know what to say. Technically, the blonde was now her boss but it was still unbelievable.

"You should tell them," Oliver insisted, leaning back leisurely. His eyes held the playful twinkle that was gone a second before but he was missing his signature smile. The tension between him and Lilly was cutting him more deeply than he had imagined

"I think they're still sorting through everything Lillys' done since she's met them Ollie...I don't think they need any more stress before hand," she murmured, dropping her gaze sadly. She had been blocking Lilly out of her life since she found out and she knew that Oliver was doing it too – she didn't know about the Jo'Bros. Everything was spinning out of control and she needed her best-friend back but she just didn't know if she could trust her.

"Sooner or later Miles...sooner or later," Oliver mumbled, turning his attention back to the game. He knew he couldn't push her – no one could – but he needed her to understand that she needed to tell them. They'd be on tour together for several months and she couldn't keep her identities a secret.

"Just concentrate on the game Oliver," Miley retorted, glaring playfully at the boy. She knew he was just trying to help but he wasn't. She knew that she had to tell the brothers about her 'split' personality but she didn't want too – not yet. Things were still wavering between the secrets Lilly kept and she didn't want them to feel as betrayed. She didn't want to see the glimmer of mistrust she knew Lilly saw in their gazes.

* * *

"Uh Miley? Oliver?" he questioned, widening his eyes at the pair. He hadn't expected them to come around knocking on their hotel room door – especially not at 11pm. He knew they were just as confused as he was about Lillys' position among them but he hoped that everyone could sort it out; Joe hadn't even talked to her after that night.

"H...hey Kevin – is it alright if we come in?" Miley stuttered, shuffling her feet. She was nervous as to what she was about to do but she knew the boys' had to know – it was also a way to discuss Lilly. She knew it was something that should be said with the blonde there but she couldn't look at her; not at the moment.

"Sure," he nodded, widening the door to their room. The place had just been cleaned, which he was thankful for, and he knew that Joe and Nick were in the tv room – they were addicted to the thing. Leading them towards his brothers, he sent a smile of assurance towards them; he could see that they were extremely nervous.

"Hey! Miley! Oliver!" Nick exclaimed, grinning widely at the duo. He was excited to be seeing Miley soon and he was fearing when they leave – it would be hard. From what he had heard, they were only staying for another day or two and then they had to get back to Malibu. They had to get back to the real world.

"Hey guys," Oliver waved, slumping onto the couch across from the two boys. His eyes flickered between them before settling on Joe – studying him gently. The boy was holding something back from all of them but he knew that no one would push him. He could see the hurt rippling through every inch of the other boys' body but he made no attempt to point it out – everyone knew anyway.

"What's up?" Joe asked, faking a smile for the two. He didn't want the others' questioning him at the moment – he didn't need it. His mind was still in turmoil over what to do with Lilly that he couldn't think of anything else. He knew that they both loved each other but he couldn't handle any more secrets; his heart couldn't take that.

"I need...I gotta tell you guys something," Miley stated, glancing around every corner in the room. She didn't want to make eye contact with the three of them and she could feel Oliver giving her some silent strength. She had to do this – the boy was right but she just hoped they wouldn't take offense to it.

'_If you could see  
The other side of me  
I'm just like anybody else, can't you tell  
I hold the key (the key)  
To both realities  
The girl that I want you to know  
If only I could show  
The other side...the other side  
__I want you to see  
The other side...the other side  
The other side of me...'_

She breathed in, wringing her hands together as she gazed at their faces expectantly. She could see their confusion and awkwardness in the situation but she didn't know what they were thinking. She needed to know if they got the hind or not.

"Wow...you're really...you're really good," Nick stated, his gaze wide. Her voice was really familiar to him but he couldn't place it. He remembered every line of that song because it was Hannah Montana and she was a star. She was just like them in a way.

"She's better than good – she's like the real thing!" Joe gaped, his mouth wide with awe. Her voice was exactly like Hannah Montana and it was like a live show – her impersonation was the best ever. He hadn't heard anything like that and he didn't think he ever would. Their voices were exactly alike.

"It's because I am the real thing...I'm Hannah Montana," Miley breathed, dropping her gaze to her feet. She blushed slightly at their compliments but she didn't want to see their reactions. She didn't want to see that they hated her or thought something else of her. She didn't want to see any of that – she just wanted to remember them as the nice boys that they were.

"You're Hannah Montana..." Kevin murmured, his brows furrowing in concentration. He knew she had to be some relation of the popstar for their vocals to sound so similar but he wasn't sure if she was actually within the brunette girl before them. Miley was so different to how Hannah Montana acted that he couldn't see anything alike in them – maybe that was the beauty of it all. She could live the normal life with the perks of being famous.

"You'll be on tour with us? Everywhere we go?" Joe questioned, his eyes twinkling excitedly. Things between Lilly and him may not be so good right now but he did enjoy the girls' company. The brunette was spunky and brought out a side in Nick that no one had seen – he liked her.

"She's Hannah Montana dumbass..." Nick grumbled, whacking his older brother on the back of his head. His brother wasn't the brightest out of all four of them but he was a laugh to have around. His gaze drifted back to the anxious brunette and he nodded his head thoughtfully. Tilting his head, his eyes took her in – comparing the two in his mind. He had to admit that they really were similar and their voices were freakily alike; maybe she was Hannah Montana.

"You believe me? Just like that?" Miley asked, looking at Oliver questioningly. No one had believed her so quickly before and she couldn't believe it. Lilly had taken awhile to come around and Oliver had fainted – they weren't the best examples of telling people. She didn't expect them to just believe her.

"It's not just like that Miley...when you look at you – the similarities are there but we just didn't take notice. Now...now we are," Nick answered, smiling at the girl. He knew his brothers' were on the same page as him and he was thankful that they were such a tight family. Her announcement was a bit of a shock but the last couple of weeks had been wild with secrets.

"What about your two friends? Mickey? Miles? Mi-"

"Mike and Lola? Well it's Oliver and...and Lilly," she murmured, gazing softly at Joe. She didn't really want to mention the blondes' name infront of him when she knew there was tension there – there was tension between all of them.

"Oh..." Joe sighed, leaning back in exhaustion. The last couple of nights were sleepless and the blonde raided his mind. They hadn't been in-touch with each other since the 'confession' and he still didn't know where they stood. Their relationship was so confusing and he just didn't know if it was worth it anymore. He didn't know if his heart could take the strain anymore.

"What are we gonna do? You know...about Lilly?" Oliver asked, speaking up for the first time since Mileys' revelation. They were all in the situation together because she was such a large part of their lives. The short period she had been in the brothers' lives – she had made an impact. It hurt them all, secluding Lilly but he knew it had to be done; they needed to sort things out.

"Nothing – she's our manager and we're her clients," Joe shrugged heartlessly, brushing off the glare sent to him by Kevin. He knew the others were alittle bit surprised at his stand-offishness but things still weren't healed with him and Lilly. There was still the distance of where she didn't trust him – he knew that there was something she was still hiding. There was still something beneath her skin that he didn't know.

"Joe...maybe we should try to see it from her point of view? There has to be a reason why she's hidden so much..." Nick stated, gazing worriedly at his brother. He had heard the boy tossing and turning in bed at night and he knew it was because of Lilly. The girl had such a tight grip on his heart that he knew it was getting harder and harder for Joe – he was slowly breaking down.

"I gave her plenty of time to say what she wanted to say Nicholas...time isn't the answer to every problem," Joe retorted coldly, sending a deadly glare towards the boy. He didn't want anyone stating Lillys' good merits when he was mad at her – he didn't want to go back to how he was feeling. The anger numbed his heart and he was able to breath for a second.

"No but forgiveness can be Joseph – what could one more chance do?" Kevin shrugged, glancing at the group. He felt bad for having this conversation without her presence but he knew she was busy with the up-coming tour. He had never thought the blonde could be so important within the industry but she appeared to be – he had googled her. She was a living legend within the industry – the greatest secret every kept.

"Do whatever the fuck you want Kevin – there's still something that she's hiding," Joe snapped, walking out of the room. He couldn't handle them cornering him; telling him how to feel. His emotions were his own and no one could direct him. He knew that he was completely inlove with Lilly but he just didn't know if he could forgive her – she was continuously lying to him. She was pushing him away and she didn't even know it.

"I should probably..." Nick trailed off, following his irate brother. He knew he had to try to help get the couple through this – Lilly was like his sister and Joe was his brother. The two made each other so happy and he wanted that for both of them. He wanted them to have their fairytale ending and he knew that Lilly was it for Joe.

"Sorry about him...he's just alittle...he's j-"

"Hurt, we know," Miley interrupted, nodding her head in acknowledgement. She didn't really believe that Joe felt so deeply for her best-friend but she had just seen the emotional turmoil that the boy was in. He was angry but she knew that was only to hide the hurt – everyone got angry to hide their hurt. Things would work themselves out...hopefully.

* * *

"Mother...it's not that simple," Lilly growled, stalking into the bustling arena. There were people everywhere, trying to do what they were paid to do and she was supposed to be directing them. She had to be there to see how the brothers' performed and from that – she got her stage set up. She already knew the way that Hannah liked to perform but the brothers' were a different story. She had only been to one of their concerts and she needed to see what they made of the stage.

'_No...you're just making it hard Lilly. We have to extend the tour because of the amount of people that want to come...'_

"So you want me to tell the others don't you?" she questioned, stopping her walk and furrowing her brows. She didn't understand where her mother got off sometimes but she knew that it was all a part of the business. In the industry, things could change at the drop of the hat but things needed to be taken care of first. Obviously her mother had planned this in advance because she barely even batted an eyelash when Lilly had accepted.

'_You're in-charge Lillian...it's your world now...'_

"Maybe I don't want to be in-charge! You were the one that put me here in the first place," she snapped, stamping her foot childishly. She hated that her mom held so much power over her. Anything the woman said, she'd do – it may have taken pushing but she would do it in the end.

'_Oh suck it up Lillian – I know you and I know that you've missed that world...'_

"You don't know me that well mother," she scoffed, hanging up. She didn't want to deal with her mothers' demands or orders – she just wanted to enjoy the concert. She knew tonight was about business and she hated that things were on such shaky ground with every one of her friends.

"You okay?" Ryan asked, stepping into the light. He had overheard the conversation with her mother and he knew that she was upset. Things weren't the best between the two and he just wanted to make sure she was alright. He could see that the distance that everyone had condemned on her was hurting – alot more than she wanted to show.

"I'm fine Ryan," she murmured, running a shaky hand through her blonde hair. Everything was weighing down on her and everything was getting too much. Tension filled the air when things were kept hidden but she knew that it was best to keep some stuff to herself.

"They'll get over it," he whispered, pulling her into a tight hug. He knew that they were still trying to see where they stood with each other but they couldn't just shut her out. Things may be murky between them all but it would get better.

"I hope so," she sighed, clinging tighter to his shirt. She thanked him silently for his support but she did need to be strong – they had to talk to her because she was going to be with them every step of the way. She couldn't have their attitudes towards her affecting their work; it wouldn't go down with anyone.

"Um...excuse me? Lilly?" a voice interrupted, turning the duo around. Her head was bent as she felt someone place their hand on her shoulder – giving her their silent strength.

"You guys are ready?" she questioned, pulling herself out of Ryans' arms. She ignored the deadly glare sent by Joe and focused on the blonde and curly haired boy. She'd deal with Joe later on but she needed to get on with the show – the fans were waiting.

"Are you sure it's okay to have me here? You kno-"

"You're a special guest Hannah...the crowds' gonna go wild with you there," Lilly smiled reassuringly, hoping to get something back in response from them all. The air was thick with their looks and silent questions but she focused on the blonde. Things needed to be okay with Miley – she needed the girl with her in their adventure.

"Good," Hannah nodded, biting her lip and looking down. She didn't know what to say to Lilly – not with every other pair of eyes on her. She could feel the sheer hatred rippling off of Joe and she was confused as to what that meant – she knew that he loved Lilly but she also knew he felt completely betrayed.

"So...uh...is everything sorted out there?" Nick asked, nodding his head towards the screaming fans on the other side of the curtain. He just wanted to break the tension between everyone but he didn't want to seclude his brothers. He didn't want Joe to hate him or feel as if they were picking sides.

"I'm just here to observe you Nick – everything is just the way you guys wanted it," she grinned thankfully, her eyes twinkling. She was glad that Nick was trying and that he could actually meet her gaze – so could Kevin. She didn't dare waver towards Joe because she knew what he'd be like; it was rippling off of every inch of his body. He didn't want her there but she had to be – she was employed just as he was.

"Shouldn't we be goin' out there then?" Joe snapped, glaring at the blonde. He didn't know what was overcoming him and he ignored the pang in his heart when he saw her wince at his tone. He didn't want to hurt her but he needed her to understand that he wasn't going to accept anymore secrets. Her lies were completely pushing him away and things weren't just going to get better with space.

"It's your concert," she shrugged dejectedly, walking away from the group. She didn't want to face the accusing glances from the group so she walked. She hoped that things would be eased with time and space but she had a feeling that words would be needed. She needed to express just what they meant to her and the one secret she kept. She obviously needed to tell it all for them to trust her again.

"Lilly..." Mike whispered, stepping to go after her – he halted when he noticed Ryans' glare of warning. He didn't deserve the right to go after the blonde when he had blocked her out of his life for a good two days. Things weren't all 'peachy-keen' with them but he wanted them to be. He wanted his best friend back.

"Ryan..." Hannah started, trailing off as the words just stopped. She couldn't find anything to say to the boy that stood by Lilly through everything. She had to give him more credit than she thought he would ever deserve. He had definitely made up for what he had done before to her – it was what they were all doing to her now.

"No you guys...I get that you're upset...trust me, I get that. What I don't get is why you're pushing her away? Why are you making it so much harder for her to trust you guys again? I don't think you've any idea just how much it took for her to tell you what she did a couple of days ago and this is how you react?" Ryan questioned, gazing at the group assembled before him. They were all so tight just days ago but now they were separated. He valued the brothers' and Miley and Olivers friendship alot but Lilly was his first priority. Lilly was the one that had brought them all together and they were just pushing her away. He couldn't let their friendship go down without fighting for it all.

"I don't think you're understanding where we're co-"

"I don't want you're excuses," Ryan said, cutting off the elder Jonas. He knew where they were coming from because he had been there – he had been in their position before. There were still things about Lilly that he didn't know but he accepted that. He accepted that it took her awhile to figure people out and let them in. "I just want you all to think about what you're pushing away...especially you Joe. She's _inlove_ with you...completely inlove with you and you're treating her like shit at the moment."

"Whatever," Joe growled, stalking off to the other side of the room. He didn't want to hear about his attitude – he didn't want to feel at all, not tonight anyway. Things were spinning out of control and Lillys' presence was the only thing that righted his world but he couldn't accept that at the moment. There were too many things that she had kept from him. There were too many secrets between them.

"Just think about it," Ryan stated, walking off to find Lilly. He had seen the tears in her eyes when she had walked away and he knew it was mostly because of Joe. The girl had given the boy her heart and he knew that Joe was slowly breaking it.

* * *

_Nobody's perfect  
I gotta work it  
I know in time I'll find a way_

_Nobody's perfect  
You live and you learn it  
'Cause everybody makes mistakes  
Nobody's perfect!_

Hannah panted as the crowd screamed widely – her grin widened. She had to admit that the concert was the best she had performed since she began. The stage was amazing and the closeness of the fans was exhilarating – she didn't know how Lilly had done it.

"Thankyou! Now...I just have alittle bit more to say..."

_Come on guys, tell me what we're doing  
We hang around when we could be all over the place_

The screams grew louder as she saw the brothers walk on stage – the grins wide with excitement. It was always a thrill to perform together because they knew each other so well; especially now that they knew she was Miley Stewart.

_The sun is shinin', just the way we like it  
Let's get out of this hall and show the world our face_

Joe grinned, jumping ecstatically around the stage. His tight jeans didn't restrict his movements at all and he couldn't help but laugh slightly as he remembered the first time he had ever met Lilly. Things were, at the least, awkward but they had overcome that.

_It's Firday but there's nowhere to go  
Anywhere is cool but we're not going home  
And we can do anything we wanna do  
It's all up to me and you..._

Hannah and Nick grinned at each other – Nick sending her a subtle wink. He loved that he was on-stage with her and he couldn't wait for the tour. Things would be interesting with all the tension but he hoped to get to know her better. He wanted the girl, she was engrained in his skin and he couldn't control the urge to reach out to her. He wanted to hold her but he had to stop himself; they didn't need the distraction of emotions at the moment.

_Turn this park into a club, the stars are lights  
And the moon is so bright from above  
(We got the party with us)  
Skateboard here's all right  
So pull on up, everyone is waiting for us_

_Anywhere we are, anywhere we go  
Everybody knows, we got the party with us  
Anywhere we are, anywhere we go  
Everybody knows..._

_We got the party, we got the party  
We got the party, we got the party with us  
We got the party with us!_

Hannah quickly ran off the stage – leaving the screaming fans to the boys. She could feel her blood pumping through her veins and she couldn't wipe the smile from her face. The concert was running extremely smoothly and she knew Lilly was to thank for that. Everything was in order and even the back-stage crew had time to watch the performances – the blonde really was a talent.

"You did great," Lilly spoke up, watching as the 'blonde' gulped down a bottle of water. Miley really was a great performer and she smiled as she saw the girl delighted at the closeness of the fans. Due to her 'experience' she was able to situate the crowd so much closer to the stage – enabling the performers to reach out and grasp hands, see the faces of the people that adore them.

"So did you," Hannah nodded, smiling shyly at the blonde. They needed to speak – everyone did – but she could see that Lilly was trying to make an effort. She was trying to make amends for the hurt she had caused and she was willing to let her try.

"Thanks," Lilly blushed, quickly turning back to the performance of the boys. They hadn't started their set yet which was surprising but she heard that they were talking – as if trying something alittle different. She hated when sets changed but she was there to observe how the trio worked and obviously they really wanted something.

* * *

"Do you guys wanna hear something new?!" Nick shouted into the crowd, grinning as the screams erupted once more. He could see Joes' shocked face but he knew the boy needed to sing his heart out. Things were bottling up and the song that Joe had written was great – it explained everything that the boy was hurting. Maybe it could help the boy heal.

"What do we have that's new?" Joe questioned, his voice echoing as the arena grew silent. He was as shocked as the fans at Nicks' words and he knew it showed on his face. His gaze flickered between his two brothers and he could see that they were up to something.

"You've written a great song Joe – I think it's time to perform it," Kevin smiled, nodding his head in encouragement. He winced slightly as the girls screamed, beginning to chant 'new song.' They had to perform something now that they were all hyped up and he really wanted to perform the new song.

"I don't...you really think so?"

"I know so big bro," Nick grinned, laughing at his own little rhyme. He ignored the other two as they rolled their eyes and nodded encouragement towards his brother. He knew what the song meant and hopefully Lilly was listening. She needed to hear just what Joes' heart was trying to say.

_Run, run like you do...  
I'm chasing after you  
I'm on your tail, I'm gaining faster, goin' nowhere  
Try to fix what you've done,  
Turn back the sun  
The night is calling and we're fallin' faster now..._

Joe's eyes scanned the arena, watching as the fans' faces grew into smiles. He had never written something so heartfelt before and he was glad the fans were enjoying it. He had only written the song when he had met Lilly but things just happened so fast. She was under his skin but he knew she was trying to run aswell. She always seemed to run in the end.

_Pushin' me away  
Every last word, every single thing you say  
Pushin' me away  
Try to stop me now but it's already too late  
__Pushin' me away  
If you really don't care just say it to my face  
Pushin' me away  
You push, push, pushin' me away..._

_Stop...Tell me the truth  
'Cause I'm so confused  
Spinnin' round, these walls are fallin' down and I need you  
More than you know  
I'm not lettin' go  
I'm getting close, so take my hand and please just tell me why..._

His eyes magically found Lillys' on the side of the stage and he knew she knew. She knew it was about her and what he was feeling. He could see the pain erupt into her gaze and he instantly regretted what he was singing. He didn't want her to be hurt; he just wanted her to understand. She was all he ever thought about and he couldn't handle that they were slowly being torn apart. They were slowly losing each other and he didn't want that. He didn't want her to turn away but he needed her to trust him. He needed her with him but he couldn't do that if she continued to only tell half truths.

_Pushin' me away  
Every last word, every single thing you say  
Pushin' me away  
Try to stop me now but it's already too late  
Pushin' me away  
If you really don't care just say it to my face  
Pushin' me away  
You push, push, pushin' me away..._

He moved away from the mic stand – gripping the microphone tightly. His eyes continuously flickered towards Lilly but he knew he had to move soon; he was getting restless. He wanted her to understand that it wasn't a hurtful song; he was just trying to say what he was feeling. He was trying to get across that she was pushing him away with all her secrets – it wasn't mysterious anymore.

_Push, push...pushin' me away  
You push, push...pushin' me away  
Push, push...pushin' me away  
You push, push...pushin' me away  
You push, push...pushin' me away  
You push, push...pushin' me away  
Push, push...pushin' me away_

_Oh..._

_Pushin' me away  
Every last word, every single thing you say  
Pushin' me away  
__Try to stop me now but it's already too late  
Pushin' me away  
Really don't care just say it to my face  
Pushin' me away  
Push, push...pushin' me away  
Pushin' me away..._

His breath caught as he saw the tear streak down her cheek. He dropped to his knees in shock and ignored the eruption of screams. She was all he saw and all that mattered. He could read every emotion in her eyes and he was crippled by it – she didn't mean too. She didn't mean to make him feel like he was but she understood now. She understood that she was hurting him more than she knew. She was making their relationship work for him and she was about to lose him.

Lowering his head slightly, the sounds of the crowd slowly crept back into his mind – the screams and clapping. The noise was deafening and he couldn't ignore Lillys' face; everything was out in the open now. Everything was laid on the table and she was in play now. It was up to her what she would do next but he couldn't carry on how he was. He couldn't play second fiddle with her secrets anymore. He needed answers and she needed to give them to him.

* * *

**_Okay..so there's one more chapter after this and then the sequel!! :) Yeah! Um...the name of the sequel will be in the next chappie!_**

**_So...hopefully Joe's reaction was not that much of a shock - I know he was all forgiving in the last chapter but I got sick of him continuously forgiving Lilly for all her secrets. I wanted him to show something other than love for the blonde and make the line between love and hate all the more thinner - hopefully this does that?? I dunno...?_**

**_Um, can we also just pretend that Ryan knew about Miley being Hannah Montana from Lilly because when you think about it - Lilly should've known from the beginning because she was the daughter of the CEO of Hollywood Records...? I dunno lols. _**

**_Also...please, please, pllleeeaaassseee can you review? It's helping me put chapters up because I think I'm slowly beginning writers block lol and it's annoying me because I really wanna finish this story before that happens. I'm also gonna put up a story with JoexOC - you know, the ordinary girl falls inlove with a Jonas brother cliche? Hopefully you guys will read that aswell??_**

**_Anyway thanks for your reviews and hopefully you guys can hang on for one more chapter! :)_**

**_:)_**

* * *


	21. Because You're You

**_Hey guys!! Here's the last chapter!! :( :( I'm so sorry about the waiting for it lols...hopefully it's alright. I kinda didn't want to put it up because I didn't want the story to end...but it has too... :(_**

**_Thanks so much to the reviewers! YOu guys are seriously the best...and I'm looking for a beta reader??_**

**_Luv yas!_**

**_:)_**

* * *

"Ah Miss Truscott? We just need you to sign this..." he instructed, thrusting a clip-board infront of her face. He was alittle bit intimidated by the young girl but he had heard of her. She was a legend amongst the many crew there and he just wanted to get to know how she was so 'in-charge.'

"Thanks James," she smiled, quickly signing the forming and handing the clip-board back. She watched as he walked away, her eyes downcast. The concert had gone smoothly and she knew the group were safely back in their hotel rooms – most probably watching movies. She knew the high a concert put into your veins and she didn't blame them for riding it out. They were old enough to figure out when to sleep and when not too.

"Hey Sparks," Ryan nodded, coming to stand beside the blonde. He knew the song that Joe had written had hit the blonde hard – he had watched as her face crumble. He didn't realise that he was affected so badly by her secrets and he was starting to see the damage she had caused; her heart wasn't the only one breaking.

"Specks," Lilly intoned, her gaze straight. The arena was now empty and they were alone in the arena. She needed to think about everything – especially Joe. He was right; it wasn't fair keeping things from him but she also needed to have some time. It wasn't a vendetta out to get the boy but she wanted him in her life. She only saw him when she glanced into the future and she wanted him next to her.

"Didn't know the boy was that emotional," he stated, getting right to the point. He needed to make her become aware that everything wouldn't just be brushed over – she needed to work through things with everyone. They'd get nowhere on the tour if they weren't talking.

"There's alot that you don't know," she retorted, leaning against the wall beside her. She needed to just slow down and breathe but everything was closing in. She couldn't go back – not since she had promised the others; it meant alot that they trusted her to keep it. Ryan was her only safety at the moment and she was glad that he was beside her.

"There's also alot that you don't know Lillian," Ryan mocked, cocking an eyebrow at her. He knew she wasn't up to hearing his jokes but he needed to lighten the mood. Everything had been emotional for the past two weeks and they just needed a break. They just needed some time away from it all.

"What do you want Specks?" she sighed, meeting his gaze. She knew he wasn't there just for a chat – he wanted something. She had heard that he was getting ready to leave; his family needed him at the moment. She couldn't deny him that but she wanted him with her. She wanted him to be there for her.

"Things can't go on like they are Lillian – even you know that," he said, smiling half-heartedly at her. Everything had to be changed with the scenario the young girl had to work with and he knew that it needed to be changed soon. She needed to change things.

"There's nothing wrong with how things are..." she gritted, ignoring his grin. She didn't want to admit that she had stuffed up in telling the group – they weren't accepting her. It had been two days and they hadn't spoken except for just tonight; and that was only business.

"So you're standing here by yourself because..."

"It's called thinkin' Ryan...you know, maybe you should try it?" she huffed, crossing her arms indignantly. She hated when he pointed out what she was doing and how she was doing it. It annoyed her to no end how well he knew her. She knew he was only trying to help but she needed to think on her own for a little bit – she needed to find out just what was happening.

"Ha ha...very funny Sparks..." he snorted, smiling indulgently. Nothing was going to push her to tell the others but she was losing them. They were pulling away and he didn't know if they were going to wait much longer. She needed to reach out for once.

"It was quite enjoyable," she smirked, sliding down the wall. The earth was spinning and she needed a break. She needed to be stable and then hopefully everything would be back to the way it was. Hopefully she'd have her friends back beside her.

"What's the matter Sparks? Really..." Ryan sighed, sitting cross-legged infront of the small girl. He could see the emotions flickering through her eyes but what surprised him was that he couldn't read them – they were moving too fast. He had always been able to read her easily but it was becoming difficult to do.

"Joe was right...I knew I was pushing him away but I couldn't do it...I couldn't _trust_ him..." She held back the tears – hiding her hurt. She was confused and hurt. The words Joe had sung were closer-to-home than she was sure even he realised and it stung. She didn't want him to feel like that but she couldn't bring herself to trust him fully – not yet anyway.

"Lilly...trust isn't automatic – it has to take a while to build," he stated, watching her carefully. He knew she was holding something back and he was slightly scared; she always told him everything. She didn't have to fear that he'd walk away because he was always going to be there. He was always going to beside her.

"He loves me...he loves me Ryan and I couldn't...I couldn't trust him," she whispered, ducking her head. She didn't want to see the emotion in his eyes anymore – she could read him like a book. She needed to just slow everything down for abit; she needed to breathe.

"It's not true love if you don't have to fight for it," he smiled slightly, tilting her chin back up. He didn't want her to second guess her heart; not when he knew that she had just admitted to loving the boy. She shouldn't have to second guess any decision that she made. He knew that she was hurt and confused but her sureness shouldn't waver. She didn't have to trust in Joe particularly, she just needed to trust in love.

"I don't think he's willing anymore Rye..." she murmured, her eyes watering. She couldn't hold the tears back much longer – they were brimming near the edge. She didn't know what she wanted; the only thing that was clear was that she wanted Joe in her future. She didn't know in what capacity. Things were blurry and she hated that. She hated that he was able to turn her world upside down.

"He wouldn't be so hurt if he wasn't Sparky...you've just gotta take that step," he pushed gently, gripping her hands tightly. He didn't want her to give up on the two of them – not just yet. He had to admit that he wasn't shocked when Joe was sarcastic towards her but he thought the boy was better than that; he thought that he understood. Lilly wasn't a naturally trusting person and it took her alot to even let the boy close enough to win her heart.

"I don't...it just hurts," she whimpered, squeezing his offered hands tightly. She drew strength from his presence. He knew he was trying but everything was just too much work. It was just all too much at the moment. Her mother expected something of her and so did her friends – everything seemed to be weighing on her.

"Just breathe luv...just breathe," Ryan whispered in her ear, pulling her closer into his arms. He wrapped his arms tightly around her waist and just let her think. They didn't need words anymore; he had spoken all he could. It was up to her for what she was going to do and he couldn't change her decision. He just hoped that she'd give them her trust. He just hoped that everything would be alright in the end.

* * *

"Hey now! Hey now! This is what dre-" she sang terribly, stumbling through the halls.

"Shh Lilly...we must be quiet..." Ryan murmured, laughing right along with the blonde.

"You don't know what you're talkin' 'bout Rye-pie...no one's up..."

"Exactly...you know...sh!"

"You sh!

"No, you sh!"

"Shh!!"

"Shh!"

"Shh!"

"Shh!"

"What is goin' on o...Ryan? Lilly?" Kevin questioned, wiping the sleep from his eyes. He could hear the 'hushed' whispered through the door and he needed quiet. They were beginning promotion tomorrow and the band needed their rest.

"Kevvy!!" Lilly grinned, waving energetically. Her feet stumbled as she tried to step closer to the boy – Ryan quickly catching her.

"Are you guys...are you drunk?"

"No! Yellow...too young..." Ryan stated, looking affronted. The world was spinning slightly and he was finding it hard to see just where the boy supposedly was.

"You're drunk," Kevin observed, raising a curious brow. He didn't expect this of them but he was finding it all quite amusing. They weren't the quietest drunks in the world and he just thanked-god that his brothers' were heavy sleepers. He didn't really want Joe seeing Lilly how she was.

"You're drunk!" Lilly accused, pointing a shaky finger towards the eldest Jonas brother. Her eye-sight wasn't the clearest but she was trying to act as she would. Everything had just gotten too much and Ryan had offered to take her. He offered her a respite from the fast-lane.

"No...he is right Lillian..." Ryan started, placing a tender hand onto her shoulder. Ducking his head to catcher her gaze, he nodded solemnly. "You are drunk..."

"I think maybe you two should get out of the hallway..." Kevin suggested kindly, holding the laughter in. Now wasn't a time for laughter – especially when there was tension still between them. They weren't all 'buddy, buddy' atleast, not yet anyway. Hearts were still broken at the end of the day and he knew that their 'states' wouldn't help the matter.

"Why thanks for inviting us lovey," Lilly smiled, patting Kevins' cheek lightly before stepping past him and into the room. Nothing mattered; she was still numb to it all. She ignored the looks of confusion from the Jonas brother and just slumped onto the couch.

"I meant in your ow-"

"Kevin? Why are you...oh," he grunted, his gaze widening at the sight. Lilly was dazedly trailing her hand along the walls – humming quietly while Ryan was continuously walking through the door; apparently counting his steps. He wasn't sure if he was still dreaming or not.

"Joey!!" she screamed, running and jumping into the boys arms. She wrapped her legs tightly around his waist and her arms around his neck – burrowing her head into his neck. He was the centre of her world at the moment and she breathed him in. She felt his arms quickly stabilise her; tightening protectively.

"L...Lilly?"

"Heya Joey," she grinned, pecking him lightly on the lips. She didn't hold it because he quickly pulled away – furrowing his brows. She tilted her head slightly, her eyes open and questioning. "Problem?"

"Y...you're...what happened?" he asked, dropping her from his arms. He needed to step away from her; having her in his arms was distracting. Everything was slowly coming back and he didn't want that – he wanted to be mad at her. He wanted to feel something other than hurt. He wanted answers from her.

"You don't...you don't like me?" she pouted childishly, looking back towards the other two in the room. She giggled as Ryan tried to jump over the couch – his feet nicking the top and making him fall face-first into the couch. She was curious as to why Joe had taken a step back but everything was so simple at the moment. Want. Take. Have. She could feel her want brimming through her veins as she eyed Joe hungrily – her love bubbling under the surface.

"I...I do Lily...alot but...wha-"

"She is drunk Joe...drunk as a skunk," Ryan accused, pointing towards the curious blonde. His eyes narrowed slightly as the blonde cocked an eyebrow and he just imitated the action; grinning like a Cheshire-cat. It wasn't everyday that the two were like they were but life was just getting out of control. They needed a break and the buzz of alcohol was a past comfort for both of them.

"Am not! Buy a mirror Rye-pie..." she retorted, glaring at the elder boy. His chuckles filled the room and she could feel the worried looks from the two brothers but she didn't worry about them. The alcohol was still running through her veins and she still felt the effects. The world was far away from her and she loved that. She could finally breathe.

"I think they should get some sleep," Kevin stated, looking towards his younger brother in concern. He had seen that Joe didn't take his eyes away from Lilly and he was worried about the girl. They may not have known her long, but he knew that she didn't normally act as she was. Alcohol wasn't a problem solver in life.

"Come on Lilly...let's get you some rest," Joe murmured, wrapping a tired hand around her shoulder and leading her out of the room. He would have preferred to have taken care of Ryan but he didn't want Kevin alone with her – his jealousy still wasn't in control. Things were still tense between all of them but he still would help her.

"I thought you didn't care..." she questioned, her eyelids getting slightly heavier. The drowsy affect of the alcohol was taking effect but she wanted to stay awake. It had been the most conversation the two of them had had since a couple of days ago and she missed him. Things weren't he same in her life since he had withdrawn from it.

"I love you Lillian...I couldn't _not _care," Joe answered, laying her gently onto his bed. He couldn't not care about the girl infront of him – she haunted every moment in his life. She was with him everywhere he went and she wouldn't leave his mind or heart. She was under his skin and he didn't want to get rid of her. He may be angry at her but he wouldn't stop caring.

"I'm sorry..." she whispered, stroking his cheek gently as her eyelids closed. She knew that what she had done was wrong but she couldn't tell him everything. It all came back to the heart and hers still wasn't mended. There were still shattered pieces and she couldn't give everything to him – not yet.

"Sleep," he commanded softly, placing a tender kiss upon her forehead before walking back out the door. He wouldn't get any rest tonight – not when she turned up on his doorstep how she was. He didn't realise that the distance was hurting her just as much. He didn't realise that everything wasn't as clear as it was before. Her presence in his room just made the distance even more prominent – they needed to fix whatever was wrong. The tour started the next day and they couldn't be on the terms that they were currently on. Nothing would be achieved if they didn't fix what they broke.

"Ryans' down...Lilly?" Kevin asked, startling his brother slightly. The grabbed a seat on the couch and just sat in silence. He could tell that Joe didn't want to talk at the moment and he was fine with that – he just wanted to make sure that his family and friends were okay.

"Yeah..." Joe sighed, running tired hands through his ruffled hair. Lilly spun his world upside down and he couldn't think straight anymore. He just wanted to hold her, to kiss her but he couldn't – he wouldn't let himself give in so easily again. She had to understand that she couldn't keep such big secrets from him and expect him to run back to her – he wouldn't.

* * *

"Ah!" she squealed, groaning as her body impacted heavily with the carpet. She had rolled too far and met the consequence – rubbing her stomach lightly. Her eyes widened as she recognized the room immediately; it was Joes. She wasn't supposed to be there. She was supposed to be with Ryan. In his room – away from the brothers and Miley and Oliver. She needed to leave before they came in looking for her; she didn't even remember what they had done.

"God..." she sighed, rubbing the sleep away from her eyes as she padded softly out into the living room. She could still feel the cold from the morning so she knew no one would be awake; none of them were morning people. She'd easily be able to walk away and just leave them to it. She knew it wasn't the decision that her mother wanted but things had gotten tough and she wasn't fighter – not when there was nothing to fight for. She had been conversing for weeks with Nathanial and he had agreed to the circumstances.

"Lilly? Wha...what are you doing here?" a voice questioned, stopping the girl in her tracks. She slowly turned, her hand still tightly gripping the door-knob to face her 'friend.' The boys' eyes curious and startled.

"Nick...I um...I ah...I...I should go," she stuttered, blushing at her fumbling. She hardly ever fumbled when it came to speech but the brothers were able to make her stumble. She didn't want to talk to any of them and obviously, they were avoiding her. If she stayed much longer everyone would wake up and she'd have to face them.

"Oh no you don't...you come stumbling in here drunk and expect to just walk out again? I don't think so Lillian," Joe growled softly, standing beside his brother. The night had been a restless one and he was just waiting for answers. He couldn't ask her while she was hindered with alcohol – it would be unfair. He knew she was sober now but having a hard time waking up; but, he needed to know. The distance between them was causing havoc on his senses and he needed her back in his life.

"Please...not now," she whimpered slightly, massaging her temples in distress. Her head was pounding and she could hear her own blood rushing through her ears. The pressure was increasing and she was finding it slightly harder to breathe – as if the walls were closing in. Staggering slightly, she gasped the door-knob even harder; her fingers white with the pressure.

"Are you okay Lilly?" Nick asked, his eyes filled with worry. Her face was paling and he could tell that she was beginning to hyperventilate. He felt Joe step forward as if to comfort the girl but his brother faulted – unsure of his next move. It shouldn't be so hard to express his feelings but he knew that Joe was just being careful. He didn't want to get hurt anymore than he already was.

"I can't...I can't breathe," she cried, collapsing to the ground. Her arms encircled her own waist as she leant heavily on the door behind her. Everything was suddenly coming back to haunt her and it was suffocating. The walls were shrinking and her eyes were dilated. She couldn't breathe with them looking at her as they did.

"She's hyperventilating..." Nick murmured, stepping forth to help the girl. His path was stopped as Joe was immediately at her side. His hands shaking as he gripped helplessly to her face. He knew that his brother couldn't bring her back – not from where she was, they needed professionals. He quickly dialled for the paramedics.

"Lilly...Lilly...you need to breathe for me luv...you've gotta breathe for me," Joe whispered, making her look him in the eye. He knew she was hurting, he was too but she needed to breathe. They both needed to breathe. Everything would be fine if they could just talk it out – but she needed to breathe first. He couldn't lose her like she was.

"I...god it hurts..." Her breaths came in pants. She should've told them – they would've been ready that way. This wasn't an accident, she had been told about what would happen but she had pushed herself. She had pushed the illness and now she was paying the price. Things were spinning out of the control and the world was darkening. She wished she had mended what was left of her friendships before she lost control again.

"Lilly? Lilly! Lilly!!" Joe shouted, shaking the girl slightly. Her eyelids were closing slowly and he knew she was becoming unconscious. He couldn't let her go, not yet. He faintly heard Nick calling the paramedics but he needed Lilly with him. He needed Lilly with him as he was going through this – he couldn't handle losing her. He knew he was mad, he knew that he had a right to be but obviously, she was hurting too. They needed to fix everything. They needed to fix them.

* * *

"What happened? What'd you do?" Ryan questioned, running up to the two brothers in the hospital. Kevin had informed him that Lilly was in hospital and that they were going there now – she wasn't doing so well. He didn't know what had happened but he knew that Joe would've been a likely cause to the stress Lilly was under.

"She just collapsed Ryan...Joe didn't do anything," Nick answered, gazing worriedly towards his older brother. Joe wasn't taking Lillys' condition the best. His eyes were becoming bleaker by the second and he looked drained. Joe used to be so full of life but he was crumbling. Lilly was his world – even if they were fighting.

"I find that hard to believe," Ryan snapped, stalking past the group. He couldn't deal with them at the moment - they had caused Lilly so much pain from the beginning. He had thought that they'd be with her as she shared her life but, they weren't. They had turned away when the girl needed their support the most. He didn't know what to say to them.

"He's breaking," Miley stated, nodding her head towards the numb Joe. She had seen the sparkle in his eye slowly fade during the distance between him and Lilly – she didn't know how to get it back. This may be the last straw for him; if Lilly didn't survive, she didn't think he would. The boy was too attached sometimes but she knew he loved her. It was in every move he made around Lilly.

"He really loves her," Kevin sighed, running a tired hand through his hair. He had seen how Joe was last night around Lilly and he knew that the boy would've pushed for answers – he was falling. He knew that his brother fell hard and fast for the blonde but he didn't know the depth of the love that they shared. Just through physical touch, he could feel the love in the air – the mere lust within each of their gazes. He envied Joe for that but he didn't envy the boys' position at the moment. No one knew why Lilly was unconscious in a hospital bed but he had a feeling that it was serious – she wouldn't be kept so long if not.

"It'll be okay bro..." Nick murmured, placing a tender hand onto Joes' shoulder. He didn't have any words of wisdom at the moment but he knew Joe just needed support. He needed to know that they were there for him in his time of need. He wasn't alone in his grief – they were all there right along with him.

"She...she wasn't breathing...she wasn't breathing," Joe repeated numbly, the image of her falling form in his mind. He couldn't breathe – she was making it hard to breathe. Things were spinning out of control and he couldn't...he could barely stand. Nothing was going right. Nothing was as it used to be. Everything was different.

"She's a fighter Joe...Lilly will get through this and then we'll all get through this," Miley stated, as if the convince herself just as she was trying to for Joe. Everyone had to get through or else their friendships would be lost. She couldn't lose either of them – even in the short while she had known them; they had all become close. Lilly was the cause of their meeting and she hated 

that she had turned away from the girl. She hated herself because she had left the blonde alone. She could see the hurt in Lillys' eyes every time they talked but she couldn't bring herself to forgive her – not yet.

"She wasn't...she wasn't breathing..." he muttered, his gaze dead. He couldn't see anything; nothing entered his vision. Everything was falling to pieces and it was because of Lilly. She was his world and he couldn't live without her. Even with his anger, he was still inlove with her – he just knew that she was always there. She was their new 'manager' so she'd have to be with him all the time. Now...now with her in the hospital, he didn't know what was going to happen. He couldn't have her leave him.

"Ms. Lillian Truscott? Are you here for her?"

"I am," Ryan nodded, interrupting the group.

"I'm Doctor Scott...she's stabilised...there was a problem with her illness – it appears that Ms. Truscott had not taken her medication. We'd like to keep her in for a couple days just so we can monitor her," she smiled, nodding to each of the group. She could see that they all cared deeply for the small blonde and that they were hanging on her every word. Her eyes saddened at the sight of a crushed brunette boy – his eyes eagerly watching her every move.

"Can we...can we see her?" Miley asked, gripping tightly onto Nicks' hand. It was the first she had ever heard of Lilly ever having some type of disease and she didn't like the sound of it. To miss the medication for only a couple days and end up in hospital wasn't something to look forward too. Her best-friend appeared to be keeping even more from her and she didn't know what to think anymore.

"Preferably one or two at a time...please...no more," Doctor Scott stated, quickly turning on her heel and walking away. The group would heal itself but the face of the young man would haunt her forever – his eyes were so hollow. The blonde must've been his whole life and to have a shock like that could just about kill someone.

"I'll g-"

"I'm goin'...alone," Oliver spoke up, quickly cutting off Ryan. He needed to see his best-friend because he needed to apologise. He needed to set everything straight with them and finally have her forgive him. He didn't mean to turn away but she had kept so much from him.

"I need...I need to see her Oliver...please..." Joe pleaded softly, looking up towards the boy. He didn't mean to take away the time Oliver had with Lilly but he needed to see her. He needed to see that she was alive and breathing. He wanted to just touch her and everything would set itself right in his world. Everything would be okay if he could just see her.

* * *

She looked up, her eyes glassy. She didn't want them all to find out the way they did but it was getting too much. There was a reason other than her fathers' death of why she had pulled out of the business. Her body was failing and she couldn't control that. It was an aspect of her life she had gotten used to.

"Lilly..." he whispered, closing the door behind him. He couldn't move any closer; she looked to frail. Her knees were drawn to her chin, the white cotton stark against her glistening blue eyes – her skin pale. His feet were frozen to the ground as she tilted her head in acknowledgement towards him.

"You're st...st...still here..." she murmured, her voice raspy from misuse. Her eyelids were heavy from the morphine flowing through her veins. She didn't think any of them would be there – she was looking for Ryan. Resting her cheek against her knees' – her gaze was trained on the window across from her. She couldn't look at Joe; she didn't want to see the sympathy in his gaze. She didn't want to see what he thought of her.

"We're all still here Lillian...we're here for you..." he stated softly, taking a small step towards her. She looked so broken that he couldn't help but want to protect her. He wanted to go back to when things weren't awkward between them. He'd let her have her secrets if only she'd stay with him. He couldn't lose her.

"Y...you shouldn't be..." she muttered, furrowing her brows. Her movements were slow and lazy and she hated it. She hated the fact that she had been in and out of hospitals since she was a baby. She didn't want them to be worried about her – it was all a routine. Her mother would be storming through the doors within a day to get her immediately released; god-forbid the press found out about her 'problem.'

"I think maybe you should leave that decision up to us," Joe snapped angrily, running a hand through his ruffled hair. The day had ticked on and they had been in the waiting area for a long time – waiting for word on her condition. He didn't need her telling him that he shouldn't be there; he wanted to be. The others wanted to be there for her – she just had to let them in. He didn't mean to lose his temper but her words were ignorant of his feelings

She nodded half-heartedly, granting him the knowledge to know that she was listening. She didn't have the energy to fight anymore – her body was drained both physically and emotionally. He could have his say and she would listen; she owed him that much.

"The Doctor...she said something about your illness?" he asked, sitting across from her on the bed. He made sure to keep some distance between them because he wanted answers. He needed her to know that she wasn't the only hurting – he was too. Her secrets were hurting them both and everything was coming to a head. Nothing could be kept secret anymore; everything needed to be shared between them.

"I have ischaemic heart disease...it's a disease where there's a reduced blood supply to your heart...I was born with it," she answered quietly, her gaze still looking towards the window. The room was silent except for their breaths and she knew that he was trying to understand just what she was saying. It wasn't something that she shared regularly but she knew that Joe would walk if there was anymore. She couldn't survive without him anymore – the two days were hard enough. She didn't mean to drown her sorrows but she needed a distraction from the pain.

"You have...you have a heart disease..." he repeated softly, processing the words through his mind. He didn't think anything like that was possible for Lilly – she always seemed invincible. There was something wrong with her and he couldn't fix it. He wasn't God. He didn't know what to do – he didn't have any words to say to her.

"I've dealt with it my entire life Joseph...I can still do normal things..."

"You collapsed infront of me Lilly...to see that...and the other time – you've lived a dangerous life. I just don't...How?" he broke, gripping the bed-cover tightly. His emotions were raging and he couldn't get them under-control. The memory of her gasping for breath was one that would haunt and what bugged him the most was that he couldn't help. It was something that she had to do alone.

"I'm all ears..."

"There's so much...so much that I want to tell you Lilly...So much that I want to do with you but...but I can't when there's so much left in the dark. I can't go on like we were...it's not in me to not know all of you. I want to help...I do...you've just gotta let me in..." His words were the truth. He could see that they had made an impact – her back straightened drastically. He wanted to get to know the real her; the love was still there, he just needed the knowledge.

"What else do you want from me Joe? I've told you...I've told you everything now...there's nothing left about that's interesting...I have a heart disease, I have a dark-past...I don't know what else to tell you...what do you want from me?" she breathed, whipping her gaze to his. She couldn't give anything else – there was nothing. He knew all there was about her; there were no more secrets. She was stripped of them today – the hospital revealing information they shouldn't have. Tears blurred her vision but she held them back. She didn't want to break infront of him; he had left her alone. He had turned away from her and she couldn't understand why. He was supposed to be there. He was supposed to be the one that stood by her.

"I want you to see me...I want you to really see me Lilly. I'm here...I'm standing here with _you_. Just let me in," he spoke, his gaze strong as he held hers. He wasn't afraid of her – not anymore. He just wanted to know the girl he loved. Everything was out in the open and everything was getting said. He wanted her to see what was right infront of her; him.

"You turned away...you ignored me for days! You can't just expect me to forget that Joe...you turned away from me..." she snapped, her gaze darkening in anger. He had no right to ask that of her – he wasn't always there. He had turned away when he had learnt of another secret and she couldn't help but think that he'd do it again. The trust was broken between them and she didn't know if they could get it back. She didn't know if she wanted it back.

"You wouldn't le-"

"I've told you everything! There's nothing left! This is me Joseph! This...this life is mine..." Her arms spread wide as she gazed around the room. More than half of her life was spent in hospitals and she didn't know if he'd understand that. She did let him in – at her speed. She couldn't be pushed into telling anything but she was slowly revealing herself to him. She wanted him to accept her as her. She wanted to be loved for her.

"I didn't...things are more complicated than that...I just...I want you to be with me Lilly. These past few days have taught me that I hate my life without you...its black and white – you add the shades of colour. I just...I can't lose you," his voice soft, hands running through his brunette locks. She ran on his nerves more than he'd like to admit but he loved her. It was a fact that he couldn't deny and neither could she. They were inlove – through all the ups and down of the emotion.

"I want...you still want to be with me?" she asked, her gaze wide. She didn't think he could still want her like that – others had turned away. Too many people had turned away so her heart had built up shields. Her heart was shattered and Ryan had put the pieces back together – only to break it again. She couldn't go through that pain and she didn't want Joe to be the cause of it. She loved him, fully, totally, devotedly – she'd be his. He was under her skin and her body wouldn't let go. He knew too much and was in too deep.

"Yes...I love you Lilly...more than you could ever know..." he whispered, trailing a hand along her cheek. He smiled slightly as she leaned into his touch – nuzzling her cheek against his palm. Her skin was warm and her cheeks red. He smiled widely as he touched her; the sparks between them still there. It was a thrill to touch her and he missed her. The mere feel of her skin was memorized but nothing could compete with the real thing.

"Joe...I just...everything that's happened...I just...I can't anymore. I can't be who you want me to be anymore...I don't...I've got nothing left for it...I've got nothing left for _you..._" Her words were quiet, silencing the room. She watched as he drew away, regret flaring in his eyes. Everything needed to slow down in her life because she couldn't breathe. She couldn't go back, she couldn't _step _back. Nothing was the same between because of both their actions. It was all falling apart and she needed to step away and pick up the falling pieces.

"I never...I never asked for you to be someone you're not Lilly – I would never try to change you," he snapped angrily, recoiling away from the blonde. Her words hit a mark within him. He didn't know what she meant but he had a feeling that it wasn't good. She was distancing herself again and he had to stop it. Things were better when they were together and she couldn't pull away – not when he was there. Not when things were still falling into place.

"But you did Joe...you pushed for so many things...I just can't...I can't deal with thi-"

"You can't deal with this?! You...you have me! You have me in the palm of your hand and yet...your continuously playing with me...you can't deal with this? Think about someone else for a change Lillian – you're not the one being played," he retorted fiercely, jumping to his feet. He couldn't be so close to her without wanting to grip her shoulders and just shake her. She wasn't making any sense to him. She pushed and she pulled at his heart-strings and he knew he couldn't take much more. He couldn't take much more pushing away from her. His heart was breaking, just as he knew hers was.

"Joe please...you know I love you...you _know _that but...I just can't anymore...You love me? Let me breathe...le-"

"What about me? What about what I want? Have you ever thought of that? Have you even noticed that there are two people in this? I can't just stop loving yo-"

"I never asked you too...I just...I just want you to realise that it's not going to be easy – it is going to be hard..." she stated, her chin resting upon her knees. She didn't mean to be so expressionless but she knew her eyes held the truth. He just needed to have a look and then he'd realise. She was just as frustrated as he was with the whole ordeal.

"I _will _fight for you Lillian..." he spoke, his eyes blazing with the declaration. The truth laced his tone and he watched as her eyes widened at the realization. He was serious about loving her and giving the relationship his all. He was willing to fight for her now – he loved her. She was his other half; he could tell from the first moment he saw her. He was inlove with her and he'd fight tooth and nail to keep her in his life. They were supposed to be together.

Her eyes widened as she caught his gaze. She could see the passion rippling underneath his brown orbs and blushed slightly. She had never had someone ready and willing to be there for her. She knew he had walked away but he was back and by her side now – everyone deserved a second chance. "That's the thing Joe...I just...I don't know if I'd fight for you..."

He stumbled slightly at her words – gripping the chair behind him. His knuckles were white with tension; his chest pained by her response. He couldn't give up on them just yet – he needed her. They needed each other. He knew that she had missed him or else she wouldn't have gone out the night before. She wouldn't be in this mess if she wasn't hurting. He couldn't let her throw them away just because it was hard. "You wouldn't...you don't love me?"

"I do Joe...I love you, I just don't know if that's enough anymore..." she sighed, her words wafting through to the brunette. She could see the hurt her words were causing but she couldn't relent. They seemed to be unveiling everything and she couldn't hold back. He didn't want any secrets and she was going to give them to him. She couldn't hold anything back now – not anymore. It was time for the air to clear between them.

"What do you mean it's not enough?! Love is lo-"

"It's not always fairytales Joseph...you should know that by now," she snapped painfully, her tone hard and unforgiving. She didn't know if she could go through the pain of being without him or with him. There was so much that they didn't know about each other yet. Pasts were still hidden but she knew he wouldn't give up easily. The fire in his eyes spoke volumes – more than words ever could.

"I'm sick of trying to convince you to be with me Lilly! It shouldn't be _this_ hard...if you love me...why can't you just let yourself do that?" His eyes locked with hers – asking for just a piece of truth. He would walk if she didn't answer. He'd turn away and wouldn't look back. It was true what he had said – he was sick of convincing her. He shouldn't have to; not if she loved him. Love was work but it shouldn't take convincing to be with the person you're inlove with.

His gaze was steady; boring into her soul. She couldn't turn away from him – not when there was just too much on the line. She could feel the anticipation in the air and she didn't know how to answer. She didn't know if love was a waste of time or not – she had been hurt alot by the emotion. She couldn't decide and she hated him that he was making her.

"I'm...I'm...I just...I'm scared Joe. You're everywhere, all the time, in my head...I just...I've never...I've never felt this way," she whimpered softly, turning away from him. She hated admitting that she was afraid. It was admitting she had a weakness and she hated weaknesses. They were a falter in character and she hated it.

"You...you're scared?"

"Yes Joe...I am...you make my skin crawl, you give me shivers...you make me smile at the worst times possible..." she smiled brilliantly at him, tears in her eyes. She couldn't hold herself back anymore – he was just there. There were too many emotions running through her veins and it was just releasing. She couldn't hide herself anymore. The truth was in their words today; everything just being said. "You...you love me and I just...I just can't see why..."

"Because you're you..." he whispered, wiping away a stray tear that leaked through her shield. He couldn't keep the distance any longer – it was hurting both of them. His love was for her alone. Sliding onto the bed, he crossed his legs, leaning forward slightly – foreheads touching each others. Breathing deep, her scent invaded his lungs; sinking into his skin.

'_Because you're you...' _His words echoed through the silence, her eyes tightly closed. She didn't want to open them just in-case it was a dream. She didn't want to wake up. He was everywhere around her and she relished the moment. Her eyes open slowly as she felt a hand graze her cheek; shaking slightly. "You...you're shaking..."

Her mouth was suddenly covered by his, his lips and tongue moving over hers. She caught his arms to keep her balance and stiffened under the onslaught, her mind a confused jumble, but then his arms closed around her.

Lilly moaned as her resistance melted away. He was overwhelming her senses. She was breathing in his scent through her nose, tasting him on her tongue and her body, was soaking up the touch of his like a keen sponge.

Growling deep in her throat Lilly's hands wrapped around his shoulders, allowing the fingers of one hand to grab onto his soft, dark hair - she held on for dear life.

Their bodies hummed. The passion erupting. They could both feel the hidden longing beneath their duelling tongues – their senses on high.

A shudder went through her as his teeth scraped over her sensitive flesh and Lilly let her eyes drift closed as passion washed through her. Her fingers clinging tightly to his dark hair. Her head dropped back, his hands lifting her closer to his body – nothing could come between them. She groaned in disappointment as he pulled away; both breathing heavily.

"The others...everyone's out there."

"I don't care..."

"They want to see you luv...you can't deny them that..."

"When'd you become so...so smart?" she questioned lightly, tracing his cheek gently. She was still amazed at how they had gotten there – they were still in each others' arms. She smiled at his mock-indignation; giggling as the hands clutching her hips squeezed tighter just for a second.

"Alright! No one's dead? Dismembered? Disembowled?" a voice interrupted their moment, opening the door widely.

"It's alright...I was finished...please do come in," Joe muttered playful, shooting glares at the group waltzing into the room. He had no idea how they had gotten past the nurses but he was glad that they were still there. He was still unsure where he stood in Lillys' life but he knew that love was enough. Hopefully – she'd see that.

* * *

**_Heya...so...I think I'm gonna put up just one more short! Chapter for this story Lols...that's where I'll put up the name for the sequel and everything! :)_**

**_Please continue to review and everything!! _**

**_Luv ya!_**

* * *


	22. Sit and Breathe

**_Heya!! Okay, so I know that the last chapter was probably where the story finished - ish, but I had written this chapter ages ago and I thought I'd put it on lols!! Hopefully you guys like it??_**

**_Read and Review!!_**

**_:)_**

* * *

"Miley? Oliver? What...what's everyone doing here?" Lilly questioned, eyeing her two best-friends quizzically. Things had been tense lately and she didn't think they'd all be there.

"We're here for you," Miley answered simply, shrugging her shoulders. It was as simple as she could put it. Even if things were awkward – they were still best-friends. They were still family.

"Apparently precious, your family..." Kevin drawled lazily, smiling as the others laughed lightly. Everything was easier when it was just put simply. His gaze trailed over his brothers' form and smirked at the boy. "Apparently, in some cases, alil' closer..."

Joe ducked his head into Lillys' shoulder as their friends laughed loudly. He smiled slightly as she entwined their fingers – clinging tightly. He didn't want her to pull away and he was glad that she didn't; she was making progress with him. She was breaking down her walls for him.

"Oh stop teasin' the boy..." Miley smiled, slapping Kevins' arm gently.

"We're...we're okay?" Lilly asked quietly, looking towards each person in the room. She could feel their relief at her being okay but she didn't quite believe it. She had kept so much from them – she didn't know if it was true or not.

"Not exactly...there's still the little aspect as to why you're in here..." Nick started, filling the silence that erupted. His gaze was steady on the blonde as she pulled away from Joe – ignoring his frown of confusion. Things wouldn't ever be the same between all of them but he hoped it would be better. No more secrets.

She shivered as she pulled away from Joe – feeling his confusion and hurt. They still needed to talk but she needed to explain this on her own. Just his presence beside her would be enough at the moment.

"I have ischaemic heart disease...with everything that's been happening, it just got alil' ontop of me..." Her words stopped everyone; guilt heavy in the air. Instead of dealing with their problems, they ignored them and in the process, damaged their already fragile friend.

"Lilly...you didn't say...how come you never told us?" Oliver asked quietly, stepping forward from the group crowded at the door. He could see she needed support but she wouldn't take it just yet. She was too stubborn to admit she needed help.

"I've lived with this my entire life Ollie – I thought I could control it better than I had..."

"When did you stop taking the medication?" Ryan questioned, his voice cold. He wasn't aware that she had stopped her medicine, but he wasn't happy about it.

"It was about a couple of months after you left the first time," Lilly mumbled, sighing softly as Joe pulled her back to him. She was glad that he was offering her his support again. She had missed his touch. She had missed everything about him.

"Sparkz..."

"No Ryan, everything was going good. I hadn't had any side-effects for awhile and I thought I could handle it..."

"Yeah...again with the whole by yourself thing! You don't need to face everything alone, why do you think we're here? We're not a decoration..." Ryan spoke, his eyes locked with hers. She needed to understand that she wasn't by herself; she had others to lean on in her times of need.

The answered silence was deafening – the intensity between Ryan and Lilly silencing the others. No one could dispute what Ryan was saying because it was true but no one wanted to push Lilly any further. She was already on edge.

"I didn't think you'd understand," she sighed, hanging her head. She clung tightly to Joes' entwined fingers and drew on his strength. Blushing lightly as he only pulled her closer to him.

"You'll never know unless you let us listen to you..." Miley stated, stepping into the conversation. She had noticed the possessive side of Joe coming out and she was thankful for that. They were getting back to normal.

"I'm sorry..." she whispered, leaning deeper into Joes' embrace. Things were still unsettled between them but the air was clearer. The distance wasn't as great anymore.

"Lillian Truscott, what the hell have you done now?!" A Figure burst into the room; immediately parting both Joe and Lilly.

"Mother, it's over with...you don't need to save the day..." Lilly growled, glaring at the elder blonde woman. It seemed as if she hadn't even noticed the other people in the room – typical of her mother.

"I'll always be here to save your ass Lillian. Now, get dressed – you're being discharged."

"You do know that there are other people in the room...right?"

"Hi Mrs Truscott," Oliver piped up, waving shyly at the woman. He had never seen his friends mother quite as she was and he had to admit – he was slightly intimidated.

"Oliver, Miley..." she nodded, glancing briefly at the two teens. Her gaze settled on the four others in her daughters' hospital room – all glancing between herself and Lilly. "The Jonas Brothers...Ryan Sheckler...Joe...Joseph Jonas...how do you know them Lillian?"

"I...we...um...it's a really funny story..." Lilly began, looking helplessly towards the brothers. She didn't know what to say and she knew her mother was waiting for an answer – the tapping of her heel slightly irritating.

"We were contacted by your assistant and told that our new tour manager was in the hospital...so we came to see if she'd still be able to make the tour. We're just really excited to work with her," Kevin covered smoothly, sending a subtle wink towards Lilly. He could see her hesitation at telling her mother and gladly saved her. He didn't want her to pull back into herself.

* * *

"How ya goin'?"

"I'm not glass," she snapped, glaring at the intruder. She'd been out of the hospital for two weeks and yet she was still thought of as fragile. She was still being watched every minute.

Nick leant back into the couch – sinking into its' cushions. The tour had just started and they were on their way to their first stop. He knew Lilly was getting sick of being watched but everyone was just worried. He didn't want to offend her.

"I'm sorry Nick...I didn't mean...I'm just sick of the watching eyes. I'm glad you guys care but, I can take care of myself..."

"I know how you feel Lilz..."

"How would you...your diabetes..."

"I was watched 24/7 Lilly...everyone took shifts to take care of me. I get where you're coming from, trust me, I do. But you gotta see it from our POV...you were unconscious in Joes' arms – that boys' completely inlove with you. He thought...worlds crumbled when you were unconscious. I know it didn't seem as if we cared but, there was so much stuff to get through and we walked away – I'm sorry for that. Your disease isn't a factor in our friendship; we're here and willing to listen. Please don't take it for granted again..."

Tears leaked through her gaze at his words. They were all so true that she didn't know how to answer. She didn't have any words to answer that.

Nick saw her distress and reached out to her - pulling her closer to him. He ran his hands up and down her back to quell her sobs – he didn't mean to make her upset. He only wanted her to grasp the chance before her. He just didn't want Joe to have to go through what he had.

"Should I be jealous?" Miley joked, cocking an eyebrow at the pair. She could see that something had happened but she didn't want to pry. They had a right to their privacy of friends.

"Only of my brilliance," Lilly smirked, pulling herself out of the embrace. She thanked him silently; squeezing his hand gently. She didn't want to give up the second chance she was given.

"Where are the others?"

"Kev's in the back and I think Joe's sleeping...it's been awhile," Nick answered the brunette, smiling towards her. Things were still unsettled with the two of them but they were working on it. They were close and he liked that. He was allowed to touch her but they hadn't kissed since the first time. He wanted to push things along with them but he let her take the lead. He wasn't in any rush – he'd wait for her.

"I'm just gonna...go," Lilly murmured, smiling at the two shy brunettes. She could see the connection; feel it in the air. She'd leave them to whatever they wanted to do – she needed to talk to Joe. Everything couldn't be fixed with just one kiss.

* * *

"You're makin' it harder you know..." Lilly murmured, lightly playing with his fingers. She was wrapped up in his body and all she could breathe was him – all she wanted was him. She didn't want to say what she was going to say but she knew she should.

"Making what harder?" he questioned, placing his chin on her shoulder. He was thankful for her to be back in his arms and he wasn't willing to let her go just yet.

"This whole thing...you're supposed to be mad at me – not...not _this,_" she blushed lightly, sighing as he nuzzled his head into her neck. She shivered as his lips grazed her exposed skin and tilted her head back. It was a dream that she didn't want to wake from.

"You want me to be mad at you?"

"God no...I just wanna know what you're thinking – I wanna know what _this _is," she stated, closing her eyes in happiness. She didn't think they'd ever get back to the way they now were – not with everything that had happened. He was always proving her wrong.

"This Lillian...is us," he smiled, stroking her hair lightly. He couldn't believe she was back in his arms but he was grateful. He had missed her – his body had missed her. They fit so perfectly together that he could never find anyone else that was like her.

"I love you Joseph...don't forget that," she murmured, leaning her head into the crook of his neck. She breathed him in deeply – enjoying the moment. She could feel his heart beat; a calming rhythm within his soul. It was unbelievable the peace she felt at the moment. She could hear and feel everything around her and she loved it. She loved him for giving it to her.

"Love you too Lilly," he replied, entwining their fingers. He was just enjoying the moment with her – letting himself feel for the moment. It had been so hectic since she had invaded his life, but, he wouldn't have it any other way. He couldn't give her up, not when there were moments just like this one. Not when they could just sit and breathe. Not when they could let the world turn and just sit and breathe.

* * *

**_So...this is the end...OFFICIALLY!! I feel so much better now lols...that's one story! :)_**

**_As you would've seen...the first chapter for the sequel is up - "Next To You" (I was listening to Jordin Sparks lols). Hopefully that will be updated soon aswell as my vampire story "No Remedy." Please give both the stories a read over and tell me what you think of them! :)_**

**_Thankyou so much for reading this story and telling me what you guys like about it! I especially wanna thank all of my reviewers, you guys are seriously my muse and everything!_**

**_Thankyou and I hope you guys enjoyed the story!! :)_**

**_Review, review, review!_**

**_Sparks :)_**


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